Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours

Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (Full Version)

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FriendlyMuppet -> Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 2:37:41 PM)
Years ago, I was teaching at a university and kind of got myself into some trouble because of my lifestyle choices. For years, I had been extremely out as a submissive, having lived as a live-in for a couple of years at a time to several well-known dominants. Anyone a couple of young girls in one of my college classes found out (because it was early in the Internet and stupid me wasn't smart enough to realize that being so "out" would eventually catch up with me), and she decided to go on a crusade to get me fired (after she had contacted me wanting to know more about the lifestyle, and I had indicated that it was inappropriate for me to discuss that with a student at the time). Anyway, nothing happened, aside from the administration having to discover detailed information about my lifestyle, which I had not made any attempt to broadcast before this time and a chair of the department considering it a non-issue. Anyway, I left that university and moved on, and pretty much out of teaching, finding a completely different field that was a lot more lucrative. Anyway, a few years ago, a local college discovered I was in their area and taking advantage of my doctorate, asked if I would teach some classes there. So, over the last few years, I've been flying under the radar teaching at a community college (more as a part-time job for kicks). Anyway, I was on Collar Me the other day just looking through local ads, and wow, there was one of my former students from this new college, advertising as a professional dominant right under my doorstep. I can't tell you HOW tempted I was to contact her, but I didn't, and I just moved on, but wow, the urge was definitely there. Figured, knowing my luck, it would just result in far more hassle than I really wanted to deal with. Of course, it could also turn out great, but why risk it over something so mundane? Anyway, just thought I'd share this with the community as I don't really get to post that much about real things these days. Way too busy working on ways to destroy the world.

PeonForHer -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 3:04:05 PM)
Well, ninety percent of me says 'don't make contact, it'll lead to bad things'. But ten percent me says, 'Make contact! The dynamics between you two could be really fun and interesting!'.

DarkSteven -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 3:08:03 PM)
Just because she's a pro Domme does not mean that she's a Domme off hours. She might even be a sub without the financial aspect.

FriendlyMuppet -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 3:16:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Just because she's a pro Domme does not mean that she's a Domme off hours. She might even be a sub without the financial aspect. But her ad says she's really believes in being dominant, so she has to be living it 24/7, with the castle and everything! I kid, I kid. Personally, I'd like to contact her just to steer her in the direction of actually making a real business of what she's doing (having been around the women who have been professionals over the years and seeing what worked and didn't work), but I think we're both better off if I just remain in the shadows. Wait, that sounds like I'm stalking. I didn't mean that. I mean, I'm better off in the background. Err, that sounds just as bad....um, better off just staying and home and minding my own business?

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 3:34:21 PM)
Leave well enough alone. Have a few personal moments pondering the might have beens.

PeonForHer -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 3:34:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Just because she's a pro Domme does not mean that she's a Domme off hours. She might even be a sub without the financial aspect. True. Pro-Dommes are apt to talk about any amount of old bollocks in their profiles/adverts. Image does mean a lot, presumably - the 'hooks' have to be right.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 3:37:41 PM)
Hmph. My ad was entirely truthful and dignified.

PeonForHer -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 3:42:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FriendlyMuppet Err, that sounds just as bad....um, better off just staying and home and minding my own business? I've sort of been somewhere near to your position, before. I might contact her from a new profile that doesn't show my face, and ask her - very casually and in passing - how she'd feel if she were to be contacted by a former tutor of hers. Be chatty, friendly, and very unthreatening. Some young women are like nervous rabbits; others are very bold and brassy and 'fuck it, who cares?'. If I were to get no reply, or a stiff, short reply, I think I'd have my answer. Or I might not. Bugger. It's a tough call. I can certainly understand your temptation, though. More generally: it's precisely this sort of barrier that needs to be crossed in the BDSM community at large.

Wheldrake -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 3:42:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Leave well enough alone. Have a few personal moments pondering the might have beens. This is probably sensible advice, alas. In a more reasonable and less puritanical society, professional dominance would be an honourable profession and there would be nothing controversial about a pro-domme's former college instructor contacting her to offer advice or even arrange a session that would permit her to take sweet revenge for that C- she once received on her term paper. Unfortunately, we're not quite there yet.

PeonForHer -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 3:44:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Hmph. My ad was entirely truthful and dignified. Well, it shouldn't have been. Jesus, do I have to teach pro-Dommes everything? I want a fat consultation fee.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 3:46:41 PM)
Will some bourbon biscuits do? And what do you mean by barrier that should be crossed?

TNDommeK -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 3:53:40 PM)
Hibby is always the voice of reason, but the question is, are you a gambling man? It might be fireworks and awesome shit. But then again, it might suck. I would say go for it? But I would think of the worst scenarios that could happen if things blow up. That's cool though. When I go to work on the weekends, sometimes I see people I knew back in the day when I was younger. Sometimes I saw people from school. That was always awesome. [sm=hewah.gif]

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 3:55:35 PM)
I'm always the voice of reason? Sadface. [&o]

Lockit -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 4:06:53 PM)
If you are close to retirement... go for it.. if not, get into the kinky pool far, far away from that!

PeonForHer -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 4:18:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Will some bourbon biscuits do? And what do you mean by barrier that should be crossed? I mean a barrier to bringing BDSM out of the closet. The older and the younger should be easy about talking about it with each other; likewise those who have (had) power with those who are, or who have been, under their power. If you're the submissive ex-tutor of one of your students who's now a dominant - well, to me, that'd be a challenge. Though, quite possibly one that I'd duck in this climate, admittedly - and especially if I'd had the OP's previous experience with a pain-in-the-arse student.

mummyman321 -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 4:25:35 PM)
From a career standpoint I have to say the risk is not worth the reward. Great to fantasize about it but better off let alone.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 4:27:05 PM)
I know I'd have freaked if a former student had booked an appointment with me... If the uni stuff was in the past, well...I'd still pass. Just too fraught, and too much gossip potential.

Ilayda -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 4:32:26 PM)
Awhile back, I found one of the teachers from my high school on Fetlife. He didn't know me, but had he contacted me? Eh, no big deal. I'd probably have enjoyed an exchange. I'd be tempted to go for it in your place - the girl who gave you trouble before who was asking about the lifestyle (how sincere was she, anyway?) is likely going to have a pretty different opinion on the matter than a pro domme will, not to mention it sounds like she was a current student instead of a former one, making your relationship with the girls different. That said, depending on this particular girl's reaction, there is still a risk involved - and what risks you're comfortable with might be different than the ones I'm comfortable with based on personalities and life experience.

TNDommeK -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 5:15:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus I'm always the voice of reason? Sadface. [&o] Well on this subject I would say so, maybe I shouldn't have written "always". But I think your advice on this is spot on, I just am the take a chance type, and would be curious to see what happens.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Finding out a local Domme is a former student of yours (6/12/2012 5:18:36 PM)
In my own life, I am almost dangerously feckless, or at least I was when I had a life! Not impulsive, just aggressive in the pursuit, as it were.

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