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Iamsemisweet -> Stuff (4/22/2012 2:11:13 PM)

I just brought in the last load to my new home. Moving out of the rural property where I have lived for fifteen years seemed like the endless move from hell. I didn't think it was ever going to be finished. I tried to approach it is as an opportunity to really think about whether to keep various things and pare things down. Still, I ended up moving a hell of a lot of stuff,rather than throwing it away or donating it (although I did about 5 truckloads to the dump, and donated at least 50 bags and boxes of various items). So now I am moved in with my Love,who has lived in his house for 25 years, and may possibly have more stuff than I do. So, there is going to be more sorting, dumping and donating on this end too.

Are other people emotionally attached to their stuff, too? For example, I bought a set of beautiful Wedgewood china at an estate sale right after I got out of college. I rarely use it, but since I have had it so long, I can't bear to get rid of it either. My kids will probably sell it at my estate sale. I tried to be ruthless about weeding through possessions, but it is hard to do. I am afraid my Love is the same way. How do others approach this?



lizi -> RE: Stuff (4/22/2012 3:13:57 PM)

I try to approach it logically and keep emotion out of it. Also, no matter how much something may be worth I ask myself if I will use it. Using it as a decorative item is allowed. I have a lot of hobbies, if I think I will pick it up again I keep the stuff, if not it goes. I don't try to sell it on ebay or anything like that because once it stays around I never get rid of it. So I look at it, I consider if it is likely I'll use it within the year, if not- it goes.

Yes, there are the emotionally laden things that you want to keep, perhaps allow yourself a certain limit on that. A corner of the closet, a set number of things, whatever works for you. That way you can't keep everything that means something, you have to be choosy. Then let the kids see what you're giving away and come take it if they like before you get it to the thrift store.



Boudica -> RE: Stuff (4/22/2012 3:23:06 PM)

Get a bigger house so you can get more stuff!!

[per the late, great George Carlin]



littlewonder -> RE: Stuff (4/22/2012 8:58:42 PM)

I don't have a lot of sentimental attachment to stuff. I just see it as stuff. I'm a minimalist so to me it's just clutter. For me personally when I think of sentimental stuff, I think of sentimental memories in my head.



pissdoll -> RE: Stuff (4/22/2012 9:17:12 PM)

i'm a minimalist as well. i try to keep as little as possible.
if i haven't used something in a few months i like to give it away to someone who could use it or donate it to charity.

i don't want to be weighed down by material items.
other than my grandmother's rings, i could walk away from every belonging i have ever had and feel nothing.
i agree that the memories are far more important than the items attached to them.



bamabbwsub -> RE: Stuff (4/22/2012 9:41:36 PM)

~FR~

Congratulations on moving in with your Love and for going through all your "stuff."

I just spent all day cleaning out my garage, Iamsemisweet, so I know how you feel! I tend to be a bit of a clutterbug (not quite a hoarder, although I have found myself rationalizing like they do on some things, which is scaaarrr-yyyy).

Today, I tried to look at each item and ask myself if I had really missed having this item at my disposal. If not, I either threw it away, or put it in the donate box. I also looked at some of the things and wondered if someone else would get more enjoyment out of it than I currently am. I suspect your Wedgewood china would be in that category. You obviously aren't using it...and will you, really, ever use it? If not, consider that there may be someone out there who has that exact same pattern, but needs a few pieces that have gotten broken along the way. To them, it would be a real find.

Some other sentimental stuff, like things that belonged to my now-deceased parents, just aren't worth keeping around physically. My mom had a favorite mug that she drank out of all the time, and therefore, it brought back wonderful memories of her when I saw it. But instead of keeping it, I took a picture of it and then threw the mug away. That way, I'll always be able to look at the mug, along with other things of hers and my dad's, without it cluttering up my house.

Hope this helps.

BTW, another George Carlan quote (paraphrased): "Only in America do we store our worthless junk in our garages, but park our $50,000 car outside in the driveway."

So true, don't you think? [:D]



JanahX -> RE: Stuff (4/22/2012 10:26:03 PM)

Im not really into stuff - though, I really would like a full length chinchilla fur coat.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Stuff (4/22/2012 10:27:12 PM)

I am...not a minimalist. The yarn and beads alone...[&o]

We've been working on getting rid of things, and we have rehomed a lot, but I am hard pressed to see why. We're not likely to move, after all. It's good to not accumulate, but we're not hoarders.

When my grandmother died there were Issues between my mother and I as to what was a thing to keep and what wasn't, partly due to our differening tastes, and our memories. When I die, someone's going to have a field day!



Hippiekinkster -> RE: Stuff (4/22/2012 10:42:13 PM)

I've gotten rid of some large stuff (gave away my old waterbed on Freecycle two weeks ago) but I'm keeping everything else and moving it to the townhouse.

Reason being, it's a better place to have a garage sale, with more parking and a short, level driveway.



kitkat105 -> RE: Stuff (4/23/2012 1:05:53 AM)

I have attachment issues, but am going through this process as well, currently. I don't have muhc stuff because of that.

Figuring out what to ship to the US, what to leave here and what to give away/sale. It's not terribly fun, so you have my commiserations.



CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Stuff (4/23/2012 2:10:57 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

How do others approach this?


Um, well, now that my basement if full...and I have no attic...I am having floor to ceiling book cases built in four rooms. Yes, I give lots away, but I love buying what I want on sale (example, $5 to $6 per skein yarn that shows up at the Dollar Tree...mwahahaha, mine, ALL MINE!).

I have tubs of fabric, tubs of yarn, tubs of Halloween and Christmas decorations...

Recently I did give away one of my five sewing machines, and would have given away another if only the house hadn't eaten the foot pedal. Oh, and I gave away one of my bread machines (that one really hurt to give away)...but I am not parting with any of my four waffle irons, lol. One is belgium style, but with blocks where alphabet letters are one side and numbers on another, aaaand another is one I looked for for 5-6 years...it has hearts. The other two are the same make and model and I used them when my kid was little to make and freeze scores of waffles each month. Just nuke and serve.

I have way too many clothes and getting rid of them is painful. So many good memories, some sad. When I get home, I need to finally get rid of a pink flowered tee shirt that used to belong to my maternal grandmother. She passed away at least half a dozen years ago. Other shirts I bought while visiting Florida with my aunt (who passed away from ovarian cancer), others from my visit to Texas, and others from my visit to California. The Disney and Sea World shirts are the hardest to abandon. Usually I don't buy much clothing year after year, just stick with some favorites...sometimes for a dozen years or more, lol (they fade and I hit them with Rit dye). I like what I like and I can be uber picky... Anyway, these past few years Kmart is almost killin me by stocking more Jaclyn (sp?) Smith clothes...my closets are groaning. Keeping these new things is forcing me to get rid of some old but favorite stuff.

Over the years, my greed for DVDs and kitchen gadgets and fabric and yarn have squeezed out my available space for knickknacks, and I have parted with most of those. I even got rid of my angel set (a large vase and two candle holders) this year.

Now if only I can get rid of two coats I shouldn't have...both are faux animal fur. One was given to me by the aunt that passed away, and another by my friend Carin who died a few Dec. 24s ago.

Books, DVDs, and fabric (I do quilting and make clothes) and kitchen stuff are...were I am the most covetous.

My mother has a teeny apartment and cleans it out every week, almost. Phoning me to take her to the store and then meeting me with bags and bags of "stuff". If I say no, she gets evil, lol. See, I have a house and should be an endless storage facility. Gifts? Yeah right. When I even drive to another town she manages to find it at our local Salvation Army or something and it ends back in one of her bags with a "When I saw this, I thought of you." In my home I have to live with a five year plan...if she gives me something, I had better not get rid of it before five years have passed or else...she might suddenly want it back.

*rolls eyes* Yes, I come from a long line of pack rats. My maternal grandma owned two houses stuffed full of stuff and her kids threatened to burn them down when she died rather than go through all the "treasures".



KMsAngel -> RE: Stuff (4/23/2012 3:29:22 AM)

i was going to suggest you take the meaningful tshirts and stabilise them and make quilts, then noticed that you make quilts too (you wonderful woman you!!)[:D]

maybe taking pics of meaningful things like was suggested previously and have a special bulletin board (or i've seen a border) made with those pics? specially if you have pics of the gift-givers IN their shirts before they were passed to you....

i had to downsize after 20 yrs of being married. i moved to a sharhouse and only had 2 b/rooms and a lounge and half a garage to store my stuff. then i moved halfway across the country again. i'd shed most of my furniture, so had to buy new - but i only buy used furniture now. i moved AGAIN nearly the length of the country this time, and had to shed even more. now most of my stuff (non white goods), fits into my 'bedsit' - an enclosed patio attached to the main house, with a few boxes and such still in the garage. i had to give about 1/3 of my quilting fabric away, but found a home at a guild that makes charity quilts for local needs. it was still being useful, not dumped in landfill, and that satisfied me with no regrets.

good luck, 'stuff' is hard to get rid of.

ps i've just gotten the 'book of stuff' from the library and am looking forward to it. i already try to live by their 'Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without' [;)]



Lucifyre -> RE: Stuff (4/23/2012 4:58:41 AM)

The one thing that stuck out for me in your post was the china you bought.

I have a (not complete) set of china I brought home from my dad's house right after he passed away. I remember packing it away in boxes and bubble wrap lovingly with plans to display it in my glass cabinets as soon as I got home. He had 3 different styles of sets, I took 2 of them. The smaller set which is bavarian and antique, I only take out to show people or dust it, I'll never use it. But it only consists of maybe 10 pieces total and doesn't take up much space. The other set is probably 50+ pieces and I use it frequently. I would be heartbroken if any of them got broken, but i don't much see the point in having it if I don't use it. We don't just save it for holidays, I use it for when I make a nice big meal (about once a month or so) and it's almost like being able to have my dad sitting at my table with us.

Silly, I know.

Lucifyre



Iamsemisweet -> RE: Stuff (4/23/2012 8:01:44 AM)

I know many see being a minimalist as desirable. I am just not quite there. I suppose one of the reasons I move so rarely is because I do enjoy stuff, although I can see what I have is excessive. I did deal with some things rather well, like i got rid of all clothing that didn't fit perfectly. I even got rid of my wedding dress. However, I kept my prom dress for some reason. I absolutely love the idea of taking a picture and keeping that instead, though. After all, I will never have an occasion to wear a Little Bo Beep dress again, although I did actually wear my prom dress for Halloween one year, when I went as little Bo Beep.
The other problematic thing were pictures. I kept my wedding album and lots of other pictures of my ex and I. That is all in the past, but I like to think they might be important to my kids someday. That is what i told myself, anyway. The truth is, I just couldn't bear to get rid of them. When an elderly relative died about 10 years ago, I ended up with boxes and boxes of family photos. Some are priceless, others I don't even know who the hell those people are. I am going to take them with me when I visit my mother this summer. If she doesn't recognize the people in them, they are getting thrown away.
I finally got rid of my last sewing machine and a bunch of fabric. I gave it to a friend that sews. I kept all my yarn and beads, though. I guess I decided it was more likely I would knit than sew



DomMeinCT -> RE: Stuff (4/23/2012 9:26:51 AM)

I'm kind of in the middle on "stuff".

On the one hand, I'm a ruthless freecycler and donater to Goodwill, as well as giving away extras of things I have too many of (plants particularly).

On the other hand, I take great pleasure in having/displaying (or even know it's packed away in a box) certain things to which I have an emotional attachment (my grandmother's silver, a teapot of my mother's).

I feel less attachment to the unimportant stuff when I remind myself that I'm keeping the stuff that's REALLY important, but it's still a bit of a struggle.

Regular, weekly giving-away activity (freecycling) even if it's one or two items keeps me kind of "in the groove" for continuously getting rid of stuff, instead of waiting to have that massive tag sale that never happens.




LaTigresse -> RE: Stuff (4/23/2012 9:34:15 AM)

This is one area where my astrological sign is obvious. I find great comfort in my 'stuff'. There is no common sense reasoning as to why some stuff I will not get rid of and other stuff gets tossed.

I am not a very sentimental person in that, I don't keep napkins of every wedding I've attended ( I know someone that does) or news clippings. I am pretty ruthless about tossing clothing or kitchen gear that is cluttering and useless. But things that are beautiful to me, or elicit some sort of pleasure response for me, I totally struggle to part with. Fabrics, jewelry, artsy stuff, my ever growing collection of rocks and plants. Antiques that are visually appealing.

I suck at selling the stuff I want to get rid of, too much bother. I would rather give it away or toss it.



Iamsemisweet -> RE: Stuff (4/23/2012 9:52:28 AM)

This expresses rather well how I feel, also.  I don't know why I need 15 table cloths, and I did get rid of some of them.  But, I bought each of them for a reason, and if I still find them beautiful, why not keep them?

I also agree about not selling things.  I would rather donate and take the tax deduction then bother with wasting a weekend having a garage sale.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

This is one area where my astrological sign is obvious. I find great comfort in my 'stuff'. There is no common sense reasoning as to why some stuff I will not get rid of and other stuff gets tossed.

I am not a very sentimental person in that, I don't keep napkins of every wedding I've attended ( I know someone that does) or news clippings. I am pretty ruthless about tossing clothing or kitchen gear that is cluttering and useless. But things that are beautiful to me, or elicit some sort of pleasure response for me, I totally struggle to part with. Fabrics, jewelry, artsy stuff, my ever growing collection of rocks and plants. Antiques that are visually appealing.

I suck at selling the stuff I want to get rid of, too much bother. I would rather give it away or toss it.



Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Stuff (4/23/2012 11:03:50 AM)

i kept loads and loads of stuff, and finally one day i got sick of keeping it all and got rid of a lot, what helped in terms of my craft stuff, was someone was teaching a craft class and the place expected her to buy the items out of what they paid her, so she often was in the red. I had a lot of great things she could really use, and i understand how hard it is to want to teach something and not have the resources to, so she came to my house and i gave her about 4 , 45 gallon packers worth of stuff.



kalikshama -> RE: Stuff (4/23/2012 12:19:53 PM)

I've moved a lot since my ex husband and I separated in 2001, so that's helped, as I have purged at each move. For my move from FL, I got more ruthless as the moving date loomed. I think being chronically low on boxes (I got them all from work) helped as well.

Thank goodness I have a Kindle now so only moved three boxes of books and gave the rest away. I haven't made the transition to electronic cookbooks yet.

Things from my grandparents or time in Okinawa are the hardest to get rid of for sentimental reasons. My weight fluctuates so I keep clothes in many sizes. I did get rid of quite a few clothes in the smallest size by "lending" them to a girlfriend 3 or 4 years ago.



Karmastic -> RE: Stuff (4/23/2012 12:49:21 PM)

First, congrats on the beginning of a new exciting time in your life!

I'm a pack rat, collector, and like to keep something if I might use it again. But I'm lucky and have lots of space. I do know that most of it is not useful, and I need to eventually get rid of it, especially if I move. The best way is to just give it away, or have a garage sale.

If you and your new love don't have enough space, then maybe a rental storage space is in order? Or a shed on his property? That might be nice for you anyway, if you still need to have a "safety net" of your old stuff and old life. Notwithstanding this, I know you should be integrating your new life with his.



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