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Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 12:26:01 PM

FlashinaPan

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how many messages do you give someone before exchanging pictures? on a normal dating site, it's usually within an email or two, but on a bdsm site, i can see people wanting to be careful. do you give people more leeway?

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 12:36:30 PM

myotherself

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From: The cold bit of the UK
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when I was looking, I sent a pic after a week or two of chatting. That way I knew the guy was going to hang around, not chat for a day or two then disappear. All my pics are 'nilla and can be accessed from other sites, so if someone tried to blackmail me again, I could legitimately claim they nicked them from elsewhere.

With Master, we chatted for about 6 months before we decided to meet, and we didn't swap pics at all. He didn't have a recent one, and I only had a horrible webcam one. Fortunately we liked the look of each other when we met

Now that I'm not looking there is no way in hell I'm sending anyone a pic. They don't need them, and if they don't believe I'm a 46 year old woman then they're not worth wasting pixels on!

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 12:38:13 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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I have pictures on my profile so it's a non-issue for me. For someone else, it depends on whether or not there's intent to pursue a relationship of some sort. If not and we're just pen pals or they're commenting on something I posted on the forums, I don't ever expect a photo. If we're going to be friends, I'd like one within the first 5 or 6 messages. If they're angling for a date, I want a face photo with the introductory email.

What you do is up to you based on your personal comfort level. Don't let anyone pressure you into sending photos before you feel comfortable. However, don't let your fear prevent you from sending one either. There are plenty of ways to take photos that will help disguise your identity if that's an issue for you. Get creative.

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 1:30:28 PM

LafayetteLady

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I think it is a bit presumptuous to assume that on a "vanilla" dating site, exchanging a picture quickly is "safer." Yes, there are a lot of predators on BDSM sites. But there are just as many on vanilla sites as well. Likewise, while there are certainly a fair number of people looking for sexual encounters "only" on a BDSM site, likewise on vanilla sites.

When to provide a picture is a common "dilemma" regardless of the type of site a person is on.

There is no hard and fast rule as to when it is best to exchange pictures. It is all a matter of personal choice, and what you are looking for. If appearance is in your "big three" list of "must haves," then by all means exchange quickly. Better to figure out if you are aesthetically incompatible before delving into intellect and personality. Equally, if looks are completely secondary to what you are looking for, then don't let anyone pressure you into exchanging pictures before you are ready.

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 1:53:26 PM

littlewonder

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depends on who and the vibes I get from them. I don't have a timeline. I never exchanged pics at all with Master. We just decided to meet and the rest is history.

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 1:53:55 PM

ShaharThorne

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Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
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When J first contacted me, he sent me a picture. Just the other night, I sent him one that is not on my profile. I will send him more when I get more pictures developed or after I teach Mom how to handle the digital camera.

To me, its when I feel most comfortable.

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 2:11:01 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

I have pictures on my profile so it's a non-issue for me. For someone else, it depends on whether or not there's intent to pursue a relationship of some sort. If not and we're just pen pals or they're commenting on something I posted on the forums, I don't ever expect a photo. If we're going to be friends, I'd like one within the first 5 or 6 messages. If they're angling for a date, I want a face photo with the introductory email.

This, especially the bolded.

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 2:15:55 PM

myrgth

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On every single site geared toward meeting/dating/fucking/etc. - those who have pictures will get more attention and be taken more seriously, in general. Mostly people are going to be interested in what you look like in general, specifics can come later. So a body picture or one in which the face is fuzzed out is fine, but I strongly urge posting a picture you feel comfortable with and then you don't have to worry with the whole pic exchange issue.

I typically expect a picture in the first email if they don't have one on profile and if it's not there, then I ask.

If they are not comfortable sending one then I point out that I regularly post what events and such I'm attending and they can meet me there but that I have no desire to interact with someone I haven't "seen".

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 3:04:37 PM

hellionsLight

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Depends on who I am talking to. Usually they have a picture on their profile, so that's satisfied. Once I get a few back and forths, and mutually letting each other we are interesting in dating, I'll ask to trade a picture of them right now.

I am not talking about sexual pictures.

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 3:44:16 PM

LizDeluxe

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When I have used online means to meet people I have always preferred and offered to exchange pictures right up front. Removes a bit of the mystery. I say "a bit of" because a photograph is only a frozen moment in time. Some people photograph well and others do not. I use it as a guideline as to what I might see if we meet. The photos I have shared are always very tame.

I pay attention to the quality of the photo. Is it big, well lit and properly focused? Mine are and those issues are important to me. Small, poorly lit or out of focus photographs are a yellow flag to me. Almost everyone today has a cell phone and almost every cell phone takes reasonable (to very nice) quality photographs. Digital cameras are inexpensive and ubiquitous. There's really no reason not to have a nice quality photo or two to share. People who do not have one handy are hiding something, IMO.

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 4:45:02 PM

soul2share

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Every single pic I have of myself SUCKS......trust me on this. I take horrendous pics, never know why, I'm trying to smile, but always look like someone just stuck something up my ass. I look like a house, or dead.

I've actually sent pics to a couple of men, who immediately ran away screaming into the night.....one even blocked me from contacting him again. I've never once made small children flee, and don't think I look all that bad myself. Not Barbie, but not Quasimodo either.

I'm okay with not getting a pic....some I've seen are old anyway, and don't even look like the person anymore. If we're meeting for the first time, I wear something that stands out and get a decription of both them and the car they arrive in......so far, it's always worked.

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 4:47:02 PM

LadyHibiscus

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And you are so lovely in person, Soul!!

I am hideous in my pictures, I am so much better looking in person... but I direct folks to my Fetl profile, or just send one if they ask. It's not a big deal to me. I want to know who I'm talking to.

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 4:52:17 PM

soul2share

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aw, shucks.......

And you have good pics.....I think it was one I saw on FB that was very nice! The professional one?

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 5:03:53 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Yeah that one is okay... but just okay. ~sigh~

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 7:10:26 PM

mummyman321

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Hibbie, I cannot speak for your pics as I have never seen any of them. I can say that you are absolutely beautiful in person :)

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 7:26:26 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Suck up!

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 7:27:26 PM

soul2share

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But he's right.......

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 7:28:18 PM

mummyman321

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Suck up!

:) That ass is quiet lovely too!

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 7:31:29 PM

soul2share

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And I got to share a bed with her too! Late night, long drive home, she kindly let me crash with her!

Definitely a NICE lady!

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RE: Exchanging pictures - 3/26/2012 7:32:35 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Good times!

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