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Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 2:33:23 AM   
GrandPoobah


Posts: 120
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		I'm just curious. Maybe nosy, but it comes to the same thing.

When you're looking for a new friend...assuming you are or have or might be in the future, and you see a name that reminds you of something in your past...does it affect what you do next. If your ex was a "Susan" (no offense to any Susans who might be hereabouts) and you see someone who's profile looks interesting, do you say to yourself "Nope. Not another Susan." If not, do you even notice names...assuming the profile has a "real name" included.

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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 5:59:26 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		No. I don't attribute much of anything to names. There are some names I like more than others, of course, but I don't hold anyone responsible for my thoughts about another person with the same name. That seems like an odd thing to do, no?

(in reply to GrandPoobah)
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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 6:01:46 AM   
MrBukani


Posts: 1920
Joined: 4/18/2010
Status: offline 		jennifer

I dont say I wouldnt date or befriend someone with the name perse.
But sometimes names just get stuck in your head over time with too many negative thoughts attached to it.
So its kinda unfair to just tell myself it doesnt.
Im always open to change and healing of course.

< Message edited by MrBukani -- 3/18/2012 6:10:29 AM >

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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 6:07:01 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		I almost married a guy called Dave.

Since we split, I have dated two guys called Dave and am currently in a committed, loving relationship with another Dave.

So no, I'm not prejudiced against names, just character and morals (or lack thereof)

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(in reply to GrandPoobah)
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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 6:22:29 AM   
midmichiganguy


Posts: 49
Joined: 11/8/2008
Status: offline 		When it comes to names, definitely. I will never have a friend by the name of Justin or Kevin for instance. Every Justin I have ever known has been extremely manipulative and backstabbing and caused harm to my other friends or to me. I have also known quite a few Kevins on the other hand who were extremly unreliable and wishy washy and so I would never be friends with them either. Granted I realize this rationale is silly for both names and that I should not make generalizations because unerringly so they are not normally true. However in the case of names despite the logic that says otherwise I cannot bring myself to trust people with those two names.

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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 8:13:48 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I have had a long string of bad luck with variations of John. Cindy and Jessica also have negative asociations for me. I am perfectly willing to accept that not everyone carrying those names will be a clone of the prior ones, but I do notice that I am a bit more sceptical for a while.

By the same token: Susan, Rebecca, David, Tim and Bob are names I tend to be more relaxed about.

If that makes sense.

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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 8:20:03 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I have had a long string of bad luck with variations of John. Cindy and Jessica also have negative asociations for me. I am perfectly willing to accept that not everyone carrying those names will be a clone of the prior ones, but I do notice that I am a bit more sceptical for a while.

By the same token: Susan, Rebecca, David, Tim and Bob are names I tend to be more relaxed about.

If that makes sense.

That hurts.

Cindy

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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 8:37:20 AM   
AttitudyJudy


Posts: 85
Joined: 1/6/2012
Status: offline 		Guys named Jim.....and people born under the sign of Cancer.....have just not been good to and for me in my lifetime, for what that's worth.

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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 8:39:11 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Susan, Rebecca, David, Tim and Bob are names I tend to be more relaxed about.

If that makes sense.


It does to me!


(in reply to GreedyTop)
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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 8:39:26 AM   
LizDeluxe


Posts: 687
Joined: 10/2/2011
Status: offline 		Not a prejudice necessarily but a close friend of mine went from being involved with a girl named Betty to being involved with a girl named Debbie in fairly short order. From a pure syllabic perspective he said that caused him no small amount of grief. He had to pause for a moment every time he said "Debbie" to make sure he got it right. Supposedly women do not appreciate being called another woman's name particularly in the heat of passion. Who knew? After that he was more careful about the names of women he became close to.

Personally, I wouldn't eliminate someone based solely on their name because of some prior bad connotation. I might eliminate someone solely based on their name (sorry Mortimer Snerd), but that's a different story. I would wager that there are a few submissive types who have crossed my path who are in no hurry to again submit to anyone named Elizabeth but that is again a different story.

(in reply to GrandPoobah)
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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 8:48:25 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub


quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

I have had a long string of bad luck with variations of John. Cindy and Jessica also have negative asociations for me. I am perfectly willing to accept that not everyone carrying those names will be a clone of the prior ones, but I do notice that I am a bit more sceptical for a while.

By the same token: Susan, Rebecca, David, Tim and Bob are names I tend to be more relaxed about.

If that makes sense.

That hurts.

Cindy



you're an exception.

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 9:15:39 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Yes. When I see someone with the name of my deceased husband it reminds me of him so when I was single I avoided men with that name. I didn't want to date a man only to be reminded of or accidentally comparing him to my husband which just wasn't fair to that person.

While I wouldn't have not gotten to know a person with my ex Dom's name, I probably would have cringed a bit and really paid a lot more attention to that person to just be on the safe side.

I like Master's name though. I never dated anyone with his name and those men in my family with that name are all good guys just like him.


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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 9:47:37 AM   
mynxkat


Posts: 240
Joined: 5/7/2011
Status: offline 		I'd never really considered it before, but yes, actually, to my own surprise now that I think about it a person's name CAN actually affect how I percieve them.

My ex husband took up with some little white trash tramp not long before we split up, and I do tend to think of her whenever I come across anyone with the same or a similar name. I haven't yet met anyone with the same name as my ex husband, though I suspect I'll do the same thing there.

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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 11:37:36 AM   
DaNewAgeViking


Posts: 1009
Joined: 4/29/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

By the same token: Susan, Rebecca, David, Tim and Bob are names I tend to be more relaxed about.


Well, that's nice to know!

Bob

(in reply to GreedyTop)
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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 11:40:58 AM   
DaNewAgeViking


Posts: 1009
Joined: 4/29/2004
Status: offline 		Real names don't bother me, but when I see profile names like 's***-eatingDog-f***ingCunt' I tend to turn off to them.

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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 11:42:09 AM   
DaNewAgeViking


Posts: 1009
Joined: 4/29/2004
Status: offline 		E-gad! I'm quoting myself!

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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 11:56:22 AM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline 		not really.. I do avoid profile names like looking2fucku2nite or anything (including profile pics) that shows that the guy is a man slut..

I have prejudices against guys with certain astrological signs tho..

or if a guy's emails have a common line of bs.. that really makes me cringe.. I put a black star next to his name..

I have prejudices against anyone (for a relationship) not in certain states.. right now i am primarily looking at TX & FL.. researching cities there..

ok,... anyone with the name "Tom", thats my brothers name and he is a lawyer and a major a-hole, had a big run in with him lately.. dont think i can deal with someone that has that name right now.. I need to mellow a bit first.. (insert meditative yoga pose)..

I do have prejudices against guys with certain careers.. definately will not date cops or firemen, not too keen on doctors, lawyers generally make me cringe..

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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 12:35:16 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Nope. I could even be okay with someone called Hugh.

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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 4:37:45 PM   
GrandPoobah


Posts: 120
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		I'm sure others will continue to comment, and that's a good thing, but thanks. I've never been much of one to "worry" about zodiac signs, although I do harbor some vague notions about one sign in particular. Names, on the other hand, somehow seem to trigger some responses, even though I know it's not fair. I was just curious how others saw that. Thanks for sharing everyone.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: Names and your prejudices - 3/18/2012 4:57:18 PM   
Winterapple


Posts: 1343
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline 		FR
I had a awkward experience with a man
who has the same first name of my late
grandfather.
I was very close to my grandfather and
there is no male name I have more positive
associations with but it felt very strange.
The thought of a lover having that name
or calling a lover by that name was
alarming to me for what I realize is
a irrational reason.
I didn't pursue the relationship for other
reasons. But when I think of him I think
good guy, good guy with a good name
that weirded me out.
It wouldn't bother me to date someone
with the name of a ex.
It would be painful and maybe impossible
to become involved with someone who
has the same name as someone I lost.
It's emotional for me to hear the name
or even read it still.
The names I have the most negative feelings
around are the names of my former
stepmother and my paternal grandmother.
Whenever I encounter someone who share
their names I have to tell myself
"That's not her, that's not her."

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A thousand dreams within me softly burn.
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