GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!!

GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (Full Version)

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LookieNoNookie -> GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/25/2012 9:07:21 PM)
I like cold air..... I have one cat that's afraid of her own shadow....another that wants to kill things.....soooo.... I let the one (that likes to kill things) sleep with Dad....windows open....the other in her coven, cowering...and every morning I close the windows when I leave (making sure that the one that needs to kill things is inside). Except last night (and the outside cat doesn't know snow from bad steak).....last night. It snowed. He's never seen snow. I woke up in the middle of the night and closed the windows.... I swear to GAWD I saw him sleeping on some clothes I hadn't yet put away....it was late. So I closed the winders.... When I woke up....he was nowhere to be found....Dad (of course) panicked.....freaking.... Had to go....multiple meetings...stacked on top of each other....left the window open all day long.....snow.....drove the entire goddamned neighborhood.....calling out....until my meetings demanded I go..... I come home (minutes ago)....he's hanging out as if nothing has happened....motherfucker.... That motherfucking cat is NEVER going to be allowed outside AGAIN!!!!!! (And yes, I gave him some of the good shit, hugged him until he was wondering "why the hell am I hanging with this guy?"...and then I told him. "YOU WILL NEVER BE ALLOWED OUTSIDE AGAIN UNTIL I'M FUCKING DEAD....DO YOU UNDERSTAND?????"). He gave me the look of...."Padre'....You gave me some of the good shit....why are you impeding my game?" Cat's do that.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/25/2012 9:14:57 PM)
And you're looking for a dom? JJ. Pwned. That is you. Poor bastage.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/25/2012 9:19:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus And you're looking for a dom? JJ. Pwned. That is you. Poor bastage. Pwned?

xxblushesxx -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/25/2012 9:29:09 PM)
That's like being owned but to the nth degree. A kid made it up either accidentally or on purpose. No one is sure which.

kitkat105 -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/25/2012 9:31:47 PM)
Don't worry, 1 of my cats did a similar thing to us as well. She went missing for 2 days. We tore the house apart. We searched the whole town (rural area, so lots of paddocks, houses, etc). Were so distraught thinking she'd been killed by a fox, run over by a car, etc. Then Mum opens up the cupboard in the laundry and look who's curled up in their taking a nap? The freaking cat, oblivious to all the commotion and drama at her expense!

LookieNoNookie -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/25/2012 10:07:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kitkat105 Don't worry, 1 of my cats did a similar thing to us as well. She went missing for 2 days. We tore the house apart. We searched the whole town (rural area, so lots of paddocks, houses, etc). Were so distraught thinking she'd been killed by a fox, run over by a car, etc. Then Mum opens up the cupboard in the laundry and look who's curled up in their taking a nap? The freaking cat, oblivious to all the commotion and drama at her expense! Damn cats!

MistressDarkArt -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/25/2012 10:10:53 PM)
Nook, how many times do I have to tell you: Build the kittehs their own outside house! Connect it to a window so they can let themselves in and out of your house. Everybody's safe, everybody's happy, and there will be a marked reduction in the 'kitteh that likes to kill things' supply of things to kill. Here's a template: [image]local://upfiles/905271/4D47C885F34E42C0AF51EBF5F17C4819.jpg[/image]

Casteele -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/25/2012 10:29:26 PM)
::Sadly shakes his head:: When will cat owners ever learn that the cat is in charge, and just lets you think you are?

MistressDarkArt -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/25/2012 10:55:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Casteele ::Sadly shakes his head:: When will cat owners ever learn that the cat is in charge, and just lets you think you are? Hey, Cas...I know the cats are in charge. They've been since I was a wee girl. I am their no-limits slave. I guess that officially makes me a switch. PS: You must also 'duckface' if you're going to flip the bird in your pic. Or were you just pickin' your schnoz? (Or sniffing...dude, where has that finger been?!) [8D]

MissKittyDeVine -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/26/2012 4:31:31 AM)
I live in a small flat but my two cats still manage to find new places to hide. I don´t know how they do it.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/26/2012 7:32:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt Nook, how many times do I have to tell you: Build the kittehs their own outside house! Connect it to a window so they can let themselves in and out of your house. Everybody's safe, everybody's happy, and there will be a marked reduction in the 'kitteh that likes to kill things' supply of things to kill. Here's a template: [image]local://upfiles/905271/4D47C885F34E42C0AF51EBF5F17C4819.jpg[/image] That is soooooo cool. I'll do that in the spring....awesome!

kalikshama -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/26/2012 9:19:22 AM)
I used to catsit for a woman who assured me that two cats lived there, and not to worry when I never, ever, saw the second one.

Baroana -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/26/2012 9:22:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie quote: ORIGINAL: kitkat105 Don't worry, 1 of my cats did a similar thing to us as well. She went missing for 2 days. We tore the house apart. We searched the whole town (rural area, so lots of paddocks, houses, etc). Were so distraught thinking she'd been killed by a fox, run over by a car, etc. Then Mum opens up the cupboard in the laundry and look who's curled up in their taking a nap? The freaking cat, oblivious to all the commotion and drama at her expense! Damn cats! Anytime I get concerned about a missing cat, I've learned to check the roadsides within about 500 feet. If they're not lying in the gutter, 90% chance they are fine.

Casteele -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/26/2012 11:31:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt PS: You must also 'duckface' if you're going to flip the bird in your pic. Or were you just pickin' your schnoz? (Or sniffing...dude, where has that finger been?!) [8D] I'm seriously not doing it to show any kind of "attitude" or be some kind of teen emo scene freak. I do it because I hate my photo taken so much that I intentionally ruin them if you point a camera at me. So it's my own fault that I cannot find any better _current_ photo of me, and one that is 15 years old is too misleading. I just need a cat, then I could put up a photo of him/her.. win-win.

soul2share -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/26/2012 12:37:27 PM)
Cats LIVE to hide from their people. (Note I did not say Owners!) Smooch did the same thing to me the other day....he'd gotten out, I got him back in, but went out the door a few more times. Time for dinner, and Smooch. I was inside checking everywhere, beat the bushes outside, came back in and rechecked teh cupboards and all of his hidey holes, still no Smooch. Went back outside to look again, I come in the back door and he's just sitting there in teh kitchen with a sleepy look on his face. WTF?????? Do they enjoy seeing me panic????? What I need to do is stop and follow the snickers, cuz I know they're laughing at me!

MistressDarkArt -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/26/2012 1:26:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie That is soooooo cool. I'll do that in the spring....awesome! Best part is: the kitty boxes are OUTSIDE! [sm=yahoo.gif]

whatisthewhat -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/26/2012 1:45:26 PM)
Oh, boy, do I know this feeling. Alice, who is strictly an indoor cat because (bad cat lady, I know) I have not had her fixed yet at the age of 8 months, jumped OVER my shoulder and out the back door when I was cajoling her bretheren in for the night. FIVE days of fruitlessly chasing her through the neighbors' back yards and garages...and she winds up meowing at the back door at 5:30 am, then trotting in as if nothing had happened. I love cat moxie!

lizi -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/26/2012 1:49:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Baroana Anytime I get concerned about a missing cat, I've learned to check the roadsides within about 500 feet. If they're not lying in the gutter, 90% chance they are fine. Lol, a twist on this is the time when one kitten went missing for 3 days and was found crying in a huge tree. The tree was in a gated yard with 2 large German Shepards lying underneath said tree. After frantically calling the fire department I was told very nicely by the dispatcher that there aren't trees littered with little cat skeletons out in the world, in fact no firefighter has ever come across even one cat skeleton in a tree. The cat will find it's way down eventually. I waited till the dog owner came home from work that day and lured Peanut down with a bowl of food. Thus ended the adventure.

Kaliko -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/26/2012 1:57:33 PM)
My cat (gone now) had a habit of hiding inside the couch and inside dressers (as in, behind the drawers). I used to freak until I figured out where to look. One of my current cats disappears, but I haven't figured out to where, yet. The other one just spreads herself flat across my bed, all day every day. If she's not hogging my pillow, something is seriously wrong.

BurntKitty -> RE: GODDAMN motherfucking CATS!!!!! (2/26/2012 2:02:41 PM)
[image]http://chzlolcats.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/funny-cat-pictures-told-you-so.jpg[/image]

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