New to this type of thing.... (Full Version)

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hornyhubby74 -> New to this type of thing.... (2/2/2012 11:14:04 AM)

Hello all,
Just wanted to say hello and get myself out there for others to get to know a bit. I am very new to this type of thing. I have always been the kind, gentle lover who worked hard to please my lover first. However, as I get older, I have begun to want to be more aggressive and dominant. I want to find a sub in my area (in or around the Portland, Oregon area) who is willing to basically be used by me, and be accepting of my being a selfish lover.

Anyway, I look forward to meeting and chatting with some fun and interesting people here:-)



Fornica -> RE: New to this type of thing.... (2/2/2012 12:43:37 PM)

Welcome to CM.
Might I assume you're married?



DarkSteven -> RE: New to this type of thing.... (2/2/2012 1:34:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

Welcome to CM.
Might I assume you're married?


To add to what my girlfriend Fornica asked, is your presumed wife aware that you're sub-hunting?  Will she meet any prospectives?  Will she participate?



ashjor911 -> RE: New to this type of thing.... (2/2/2012 1:46:10 PM)

Welcome



amaidiamond -> RE: New to this type of thing.... (2/2/2012 5:21:59 PM)

Welcome.

Remember it's a buyers market and sub females are the buyers.



peppermint -> RE: New to this type of thing.... (2/2/2012 5:58:37 PM)

Hello hornyhubby and welcome to Collarme. 

Contrary to what many newbies believe, submissives are not hornier than the average population of women.  Submissives are not more likely to jump into bed with a married man than a lady you are talking with from your church social. 

So what can a horny hubby do about increasing his odds?  First, if he gets his wife on his side things will go so much smoother.  That way you can introduce your submissive and your wife and the submissive will know that it's okay with the wife.  Most submissives will not play with you if they think you are actually cheating on your wife.  Sadly, if you can not get your wife to agree to you finding a submissive you may have to search for horny married women.  This will limit your search to a comparatively small percentage of the available submissives. 

BDSM encounters with your submissive if you are sneaking around can be very limiting.  A D/s relationship is about more than just sex.  It is about power control  It is about sharing.  It is about honesty.  It is about trust.  Limiting yourself to an occasional motel room fling will not allow you to enjoy BDSM at its finest. 

May I suggest that you discuss this with your wife?  I do understand that you KNOW for sure that she just couldn't be interested.  That's what some friends of mine thought also.  She never mentioned what she wanted.  He never mentioned what he wanted.  Then one day they actually opened up to each other.  They discovered that they had both wanted a D/s relationship for years, knowing for sure that the other had no interest at all. 

Anyway, there is a lot of information available on the forums.  You just might find something helpful to your situation. 



Delilya -> RE: New to this type of thing.... (2/2/2012 10:18:19 PM)

good luck



hornyhubby74 -> RE: New to this type of thing.... (2/3/2012 3:13:07 AM)

Thanks all!

At this point my wife does not know. We are in the process of talking about different sexual possibilities and things we would like to try at some point. There are aspects about her that she feels she has to take care of before we get involved together in anything....I realize that without her consent and all that goes with that, I will have a harder time finding anyone...and that is fine at this point. I am just as interested in building friendships and learning about different options and attitudes of others. I look forward to chatting with others hear until things change at home:-)



OohAahMrs -> RE: New to this type of thing.... (2/3/2012 8:38:50 AM)

Blimey horn, the little lady is gonna get a big shock!



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