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So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 12:22:33 PM   
pinioned14Me


Posts: 50
Joined: 1/22/2006
Status: offline 		I had a very interesting conversation the other evening with a lady switch, the topic was subs - slaves and "dependents". I agreed with her that everytime O/one logs in there are the same cadre of names listed as recent visitors. Most of these purport to be subs or slaves looking for their One but it is her observation that they fall into a different catagory altogether. These dependents list requirements and demands for a fantasy Dom/me to fulfil and will drain One (if allowed or unrecognized) of time, energy and effort. Since this is an unrealistic dream...no One could possibly meet their needs and as a result this dependent will move on to Another constantly being disappointed and disappointing Others along the way.
If you find yourself agreeing in part or whole with this....what do you call them?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 12:39:37 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		do-me slaves

emotional trainwreck vampires

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to pinioned14Me)
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RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 12:42:19 PM   
MsMacComb


Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline 		People who live in reality.
People who know that the S/M world is made up of self serving people.
People who don't lie.

_____________________________

Not looking for anyone for anything, any time.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 12:44:07 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		dominant-submissives
 
do-me-boys or girls as the case may be
 
wankers
 
or My personal favorite..."next!"

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


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RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 12:46:06 PM   
seekerofwisdom


Posts: 19
Joined: 8/17/2005
Status: offline 		Well, define "requirements and demands for a fantasy Dom/me to fulfill." I'm certainly not going to make myself a blank slate, since I'm an adult with established limits and likes--if I didn't have those requirements, I'd end up miserable in the relationship. So I think it's pretty reasonable to state requirements for a relationship. 

(in reply to pinioned14Me)
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RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 12:47:49 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsMacComb

People who live in reality.
People who know that the S/M world is made up of self serving people.
People who don't lie.


I agree.

If they are upfront about these things it makes it a lot easier to say "yes" or "no" now rather than find out later they have requirements or to deal with manipulations.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 1:50:36 PM   
desireithot


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/27/2006
Status: offline 		i couldn't agree more tammyjo....

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RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 2:42:33 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Sounds like an uncompromising perfectionist who knows what they want and won't settle for less. If they're not happy, then I would say it sounds like someone in need of therapy.

Celeste

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"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 3:21:45 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		You mean Im not a life support system for a flogger?

Sinergy

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"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


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RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 3:26:56 PM   
genvieve


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline 		i call them robo-subs
and Dom-in-a-box

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In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

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RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 3:36:30 PM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinioned14Me

....what do you call them?



I don't call them.

I'm all for a sub knowing what they like and I like to learn their buttons.  I think both need to be fulfilled for a relationship to last.  I am not however as Sinergy put it a " life support system for a flogger".  Make an effort to get to know me, the person and the time will come to discuss likes, wants, needs etc.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

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RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 3:45:24 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		That is a very sweeping generalization.  What examples would you use for what you regard as requirements and demands?
A profile that gives me enough information to decide if I would be interested or not would certainly be preferable to one with no information. 

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to pinioned14Me)
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RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 4:57:46 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I would have no point of reference for this. I know that there seems to be someone for everyone... I would not assume because someone has an extensive list as to what they may want that there is no one out there in the universe that may read that list and say "Hey, this person is the one for me... my dream sub". I have seen doms complain about subs with the temerity to have a wish or a limit. For all I know this friend of yours is one of those. I am with Celeste.. as long as they are happy with their wants and needs and do not hurt others.. who cares?

Take what you need, leave the rest.




_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to pinioned14Me)
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RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 4:58:21 PM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		A term that was used on a bdsm forum/chat site I used to frequent regularly in time's past...

velcro collars for the submissives
velcro stock holders for the dominants

"He that strives to touch a star oft stumbles at a single straw"


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 5:04:52 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		I call them if their requirements match our capacity, otherwise, I don't call them at all, nor do I judge them for being honest and forthright about their requirements. I would much rather have them state, honestly and up front, what they're looking for than have them give me a line and find out that we are incompatible and the Tower is unable and/or unwilling to meet the -real- needs, wants and expectations.

Da'Avatar ZWD

www.klashaan.org

_____________________________


"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to pinioned14Me)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 5:11:02 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinioned14Me
These dependents list requirements and demands for a fantasy Dom/me to fulfil and will drain One (if allowed or unrecognized) of time, energy and effort. Since this is an unrealistic dream...no One could possibly meet their needs and as a result this dependent will move on to Another constantly being disappointed and disappointing Others along the way.
If you find yourself agreeing in part or whole with this....what do you call them?



I don't waste my time bothering to come up with labels for people who don't concern me. What others wish to do is their business.

I decide on a one-to-one basis whether I invite people into my life or not, and if I decide not to, I don't give them another thought.

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to pinioned14Me)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 5:22:39 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinioned14Me
I agreed with her that everytime O/one logs in there are the same cadre of names listed as recent visitors. Most of these purport to be subs or slaves looking for their One but it is her observation that they fall into a different catagory altogether. These dependents list requirements and demands for a fantasy Dom/me to fulfil and will drain One (if allowed or unrecognized) of time, energy and effort.


I do wonder though, if you might want to re-think this huge sweeping generalization. I may very well be one of those names, and it's because I chat here, very regularily. I often just keep the forum window open while I do other things online.

I also have pretty straight-forward requirements on my profile.

Oh oh...Guess I'm one of  those, huh? You might want to play it safe and not call me. LOL

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to pinioned14Me)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 5:31:12 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		cin,

I almost took it that way too, but it doesnt really matter...smiles.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 5:48:30 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

cin,

I almost took it that way too, but it doesnt really matter...smiles.


You're right hon, it doesn't. I checked out the OP's profile and if I were to judge I wouldn't call it realistic by my standards...so, live and let live.

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: So what do you call "them" - 5/31/2006 7:06:20 PM   
VvShadowspawnvV


Posts: 218
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline 		i tend to take it personally when a profile says, "DON'T CONTACT ME UNLESS...".  So i'm NOT a Dominant male between the ages of 28 1/2 and 34 1/4 with brown eyes and a prehensile tail... maybe i like your style, and just wanna say hi... at least until you go all caps on me.  *sighs*

becca

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 20
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