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Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 10:40:17 AM

Duskypearls

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...and if so, for how long, what was it like, how did it affect you, what did you learn from it, and how, if ever, did you heal from it?

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 10:41:18 AM

Hillwilliam

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I've held more torches than the damn olympic relay.

Ive learned to get over it.

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 11:27:31 AM

angelikaJ

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1983-2003

He got married, and that cured me, or rather his happiness did.

(and you have mail)

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 11:41:10 AM

Iamsemisweet

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Oh god yes. Thankfully, I usually recover in just a few days.

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 11:43:41 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls

...and if so, for how long, what was it like, how did it affect you, what did you learn from it, and how, if ever, did you heal from it?

Certainly. But when I realized things were not going to happen or work out I did a one eighty and said........"NEXT!!!!!!!!"

Keep in mind that my version of "NEXT!!!!" isn't the next person per say but the next life experience. Because that is how I see relationships. Part of life, my life's experiences. Learning and growing.

Time wise...I don't know for sure.

How it affected me, well hell, I suppose it hurt a bit but then I don't mind hurting. It's part of living.

I couldn't say for sure exactly what I learned......it's been too long ago. Perhaps to trust less.

As for healing. I am not sure I want to heal anything. I don't mind walking around with a few battle scars. It's part of who I am.

I suppose the key is just letting it go. Letting it float out into the universe and just be. Forgive if forgiveness is needed and allow life to continue as it needs to.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/10/2012 11:50:38 AM >

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 11:47:49 AM

angelikaJ

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PK3GhnHOJc

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 12:15:37 PM

littlewonder

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No, never. Even after my husband died, I didn't hold a torch. I grieved and while I still love him, I knew my life had to go on for both myself and our daughter.

Then again I'm not the type to hold onto anything. What's the saying? If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were. I full-heartedly believe in that.

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 12:25:12 PM

myotherself

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I did.

He left me a week before our wedding. I was devastated.

I measured every man I met after that by my idealised version of him. It took me nearly a decade to realise that the idealised version and the real version were two very different creatures.

Once I'd done that, I realised I'd wasted so much time and began to look at each potential new partner as an individual, not a reflection of someone who never existed. Now, I'm happy.

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 12:40:25 PM

Lucylastic

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Far too often for my own good
And it was more rampaging lust.
Altho there is still one bloke I will adore for life.
Even tho its been over 30 years

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 12:44:20 PM

Duskypearls

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PK3GhnHOJc

Good grief, Angel, how poignant and potent this fellow, and poem.

Thank you for that gift.

< Message edited by Duskypearls -- 1/10/2012 12:45:20 PM >

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 12:47:47 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Yes.

I still think of him, his abandonment of our friendship affected me profoundly. The rest of it was good, but if it was over, fine. I wonder some days what my reaction would be, were we to cross paths again after so many years.

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 1:07:59 PM

Winterapple

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FR
I not only carry torches but like Byron can
hold them aloft while I swim the canals of
Venice at night.
I love anyone I ever loved. Even if we can't
be together or aren't I keep a candle lit
for them. Love will come around again
and when it does light another candle.
Love brings light and illumination even when
it wasn't meant to be.

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 1:08:46 PM

Lucylastic

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I like that Winter:)

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 1:12:10 PM

Winterapple

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Thanks, Lucy. And that rampaging lust thing rang a bell.

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 1:17:11 PM

Hillwilliam

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeEYQOy4oQ4

For anyone that is still carrying a torch and wants help getting over it.

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Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 1:25:13 PM

SorceressJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Yes.

I still think of him, his abandonment of our friendship affected me profoundly. The rest of it was good, but if it was over, fine. I wonder some days what my reaction would be, were we to cross paths again after so many years.

THIS, down the the last syllable. We were friends AND lovers, and I was cast aside and ignored like old newspaper in the end, and even lied on by this person. I remember everything like recalling an old incarnation of myself, but am long since over it, being living proof that you don't have to wipe entire portions of memory to get over someone.
I love you, Casey. Now fuck the hell off.

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 1:26:18 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Yes, he literally drove away without a forwarding address. I understand that some folks reset their lives...but a goodbye would have been nice.

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 1:28:31 PM

Hillwilliam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SorceressJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Yes.

I still think of him, his abandonment of our friendship affected me profoundly. The rest of it was good, but if it was over, fine. I wonder some days what my reaction would be, were we to cross paths again after so many years.

THIS, down the the last syllable. We were friends AND lovers, and I was cast aside and ignored like old newspaper in the end, and even lied on by this person. I remember everything like recalling an old incarnation of myself, but am long since over it, being living proof that you don't have to wipe entire portions of memory to get over someone.
I love you, Casey. Now fuck the hell off.

I'm tellin ya SJ. That song I just posted will do you a world of good.

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Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 1:29:54 PM

popeye1250

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Yes, Sheryle Ladd and Tanya Roberts of "Charlie's Angels" but alas,.....it just wasn't meant to be!

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RE: Have You Ever Held a Torch for Another... - 1/10/2012 1:45:27 PM

SorceressJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
I'm tellin ya SJ. That song I just posted will do you a world of good.

That's a nice one, Hills. Harry Nilsson rocks and I LOVE the old-timey phonograph! But the song in the following link is what got me through that time, and is IMHO the Best. Breakup. Song. EVER! (still had me swinging my fists and my ponytail after ten years. PRICELESS!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nUz34iQDuU

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