RE: Compassionate Communicators: Help Please

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RE: Compassionate Communicators: Help Please - 1/6/2012 7:55:45 AM

Marc2b

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quote:

I hate hearing myself on tape.

Everybody hates hearing their own voice on tape. They say that your voice sounds different to you than everyone else and that your voice on tape is your true voice. I hope to god that this isn't true because my voice on tape sounds like an asthmatic pig chocking on an apple.

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RE: Compassionate Communicators: Help Please - 1/6/2012 8:43:37 AM

Fornica

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I want that also.

quote:

ORIGINAL: seababy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

"Actually. We're glad it's wrecked, because, frankly, you suck and we wanted to kick you out, but didn't want to be mean."

LMFAO!

I know biological its impossible but I love you and want to have your babies.

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RE: Compassionate Communicators: Help Please - 1/6/2012 8:48:19 AM

JstAnotherSub

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Start with a compliment, kick them in the shins, then end with a compliment. The compliments should be sincere.

If you really adore the person, as a human and a friend, tell her that too.

The hardest thing for me to learn, as a manager, was how to separate business and personal.

Now that I can do it, and be sincere about it, if someone else can not do the same, I don't feel that is my problem.

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RE: Compassionate Communicators: Help Please - 1/6/2012 8:55:13 AM

bighappygoth39

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If you said originally that it was just a see how it goes things, then you could sit her down and say that she knew she was on trial, and it was just that, and the band now feels that she has had plenty of trial time and you've all decided that it isn't going to work as well as you'd hoped. If you feel really bad about having to do it, just stress that it was just a trial thing, and if there's some other way you can keep her in the band, suggest that to her. Hope it works out well, anyway.

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RE: Compassionate Communicators: Help Please - 1/6/2012 5:46:26 PM

seababy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bighappygoth39

If you said originally that it was just a see how it goes things, then you could sit her down and say that she knew she was on trial, and it was just that, and the band now feels that she has had plenty of trial time and you've all decided that it isn't going to work as well as you'd hoped. If you feel really bad about having to do it, just stress that it was just a trial thing, and if there's some other way you can keep her in the band, suggest that to her. Hope it works out well, anyway.

"Sorry you suck, but you can be our groupie?"

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RE: Compassionate Communicators: Help Please - 1/6/2012 10:52:11 PM

Casteele

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Try role reversal: If the situation were reversed, what way would you most prefer to be told you just don't fit in with the band? (I didn't say "you suck" because I've known some people who "suck" for one band, but are perfect for another--Try to imagine Eminem singing twangy old country music, for example..) I suspect most people would much prefer the straight, direct, and honest approach, no matter how much it hurts.

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RE: Compassionate Communicators: Help Please - 1/7/2012 1:19:28 AM

popeye1250

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Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

"Accidentally" break her instrument!
Do it like this:
You're all playing. Play for HOURS (everyone will have to pee at some point). When she goes to the bathroom, RUNNNNNNNNNNN and dogpile on top of each other, as though a friendly wrestle spontaneously occured. While you're in the dogpile, throw her instrument out on the lawn. (break a window if necessary).
She comes back in, and thinks it's an orgy, not a dogpile.
She gets naked, and everyone stares at her, like wtf Wendy?
She gets embarrassed about her faux pas, and mumbles that she needs to go home to cook oatmeal and flees out the door, forgetting her instrument (since it's out of sight, she doesn't think of it).
After she leaves, the rest of you go out to the lawn and get it. Place it in the driveway, and take turns running over it.
Leave it in the driveway. Everyone pretend not to notice.
Next practise, as she drives in, SCREAM LOUDLY, as though she just hit a small child (she'll think that part is funny later).
When she leaps from her car, point in horror (practise your "horror" face) at her smushed instrument.
As she is lamenting what to do, and how she can't afford a replacement, calmly turn to her and say
"Actually. We're glad it's wrecked, because, frankly, you suck and we wanted to kick you out, but didn't want to be mean."

LMAO!
Yeah, that would be fun!
"Now get the fuck out you dime a fuck burlesque queenie!"

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RE: Compassionate Communicators: Help Please - 1/7/2012 6:54:01 AM

Fornica

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'xactly.
I think my idea is the one to go with.

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RE: Compassionate Communicators: Help Please - 1/7/2012 7:34:46 AM

bighappygoth39

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quote:

ORIGINAL: seababy

quote:

ORIGINAL: bighappygoth39

If you said originally that it was just a see how it goes things, then you could sit her down and say that she knew she was on trial, and it was just that, and the band now feels that she has had plenty of trial time and you've all decided that it isn't going to work as well as you'd hoped. If you feel really bad about having to do it, just stress that it was just a trial thing, and if there's some other way you can keep her in the band, suggest that to her. Hope it works out well, anyway.

"Sorry you suck, but you can be our groupie?"

That could work...

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RE: Compassionate Communicators: Help Please - 1/10/2012 7:26:17 AM

Fornica

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So...didja do it? Is the band still rockin?

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RE: Compassionate Communicators: Help Please - 1/11/2012 10:44:25 PM

MistressDarkArt

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Hi folks,
A rather surprising update. I'm really glad I gave it one more try. Instead of 'the talk' we had a very productive rehearsal.

What I came to realize is 1) the lady takes direction and constructive criticism well 2) she's eager and quick to learn when directed what to focus on 3) when encouraged to give input she contributes good ideas and 4) it's good for me to think outside the box (initially didn't want two fiddlers, but am now enjoying arranging twin-fiddle harmonies and back-up chording for her.)

Turns out S was concerned I'd feel overloaded directing/teaching both him and our new fiddle player. I don't. In fact, I've agreed to work with her privately once a week outside of regular rehearsal to collaborate and quickly bring her level up. When she gets a bit more proficient she can take some of the load off me on the easier fiddle stuff and I can switch to the keyboard for a break.

This situation is also 'forcing' me to learn the notation program I've conveniently gotten away with not using because we didn't need written music until now. Investing some time and patience here on the front end should pay off with unexpected dividends all around.

A good learning experience for all concerned on several levels. Thanks again everyone for your input.

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RE: Compassionate Communicators: Help Please - 1/11/2012 11:42:36 PM

seababy

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Thats great.
I am going to take the outcome of this as a life lesson.

Cheers

Sea

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RE: Compassionate Communicators: Help Please - 1/12/2012 5:24:18 AM

Fornica

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That's awesome!
I'm a bit disappointed that you didn't have a fake orgy, or throw anything out the window, but it's for the best I suppose.

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