|
subluvsM -> new and improved (5/30/2006 7:45:21 AM)
|
tho Im not new to CM, I have gone thru major changes in my life and I thought this thread was appropriate. I was once cdreams from Pa, but now I have a new name, and a new life. When I 1st joined CM over a year ago, I was very nieve about the lifestyle, and who and what I was, and what I was searching for. I was used, and played by many Doms and so called "Masters", and I let myself open and got hurt many times, both emotionally and physically. I was mislead by many, and had so many misconceptions reguarding BDSM and what all it curtailed. I knew in my heart I was a submissive, but didn't understand what a great gift I had and wasted so much of myself. Im glad to report, all that has changed.
I met a Dominate online lil over a year ago, and we became close friends. He became my mentor and confidant. Mowas and I grew to love each other, and I soon realized, He was the Master I was always searching for, for all along I was giving myself to Him, my thoughts, my feelings, my heart and my soul. Unfortunately we lived 5 hrs apart and both was living in relationships we couldnt get out of, so our love grew from the inside out. This was good for many reasons, because I tend to give of my flesh easily, and relationships based on the flesh 1st rarely last, least for me. Mowas stood by me as I gave my flesh over and over again to many men (vanilla, and Doms), and knew I was trying to fill the physical void in my life, and never judged me. We soon realized, that if I didnt make changes in my life, I was going get hurt, physically, for my need for pain grew out of control, and my need for Him was ripping me apart. The time finally came in our lives where we could leave the relationships we were in, and we had to be together. Mowas drove and got what was always His and took me into His service, and I became the sub I always knew I was. Mowas, who is now my Master in all ways,took me and opened a whole new world to me, and is molding me into the submissive He desires and knows I am. He has shown me the difference between discipline and abuse, between punishment and a beating. Master shows me love with his words, actions and now and then a stern hard hand and belt. I dont have to have welts and bruises to feel disciplined, His eyes and words can welt deeper than any whip. I now know true submission, for now all I do, all I am I am for him. I dont live in fear any more, I feel safe, protected, and loved. Master doesnt dominate thru intimidation, or threats..but thru understanding and paying attention to me, by listening to me and when I cross the line, I know pain, for the worst punishment is denial. Master is a well respected man, works hard for us and our needs, in return I serve Him well. Now, Master is allowing me a gift. I have always wanted a sub-sister, and I know Master would enjoy another sub to play with. I/We are seeking subs near us in Salibury Md..just as friends for now...Master has His hands full with me as it is..lol I told him hes gonna have a stable yet...lol
well..its great to be back on CM, and I look forward to making new friends here, and here in Salisbury as well. My life is deffinately new and improved
~cori~
subluvsM
|
|
|
|
