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RE: Curious.. - 12/25/2011 9:17:33 AM   
JanahX


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I always thought it was something due to stress.

are you stressed out?




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RE: Curious.. - 12/25/2011 10:51:47 AM   
kalikshama


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quote:

#2 - If you gave yourself those cuts out of emotional release, because it quiets your frustration, relieves or distracts from emotional pain, it's not masochism, it's DSH. 


OP - If this is the case, consider reading this or giving it to your therapist: Women Who Hurt Themselves: A Book Of Hope And Understanding

Women traumatized in childhood hurt themselves more often than men do because men are socialized to act aggressively and fight back, notes psychologist Miller, who is director of Clinical Mentoring at Antioch/New England Graduate School. Here she addresses childhood trauma, to which the individual may react by dissociating, but such fragmentation of the personality becomes the basis of her failure to protect herself as an adult. While integrating various treatment approaches, Miller's program focuses on the "triadic self," which she describes as the victim, abuser and nonprotecting bystander within. In the painful narratives culled from her private practice, Miller establishes that such self-destructive behavior as bulimia and cosmetic surgery "tells the secret story of women's childhood experience over and over again." She describes the behavior of her clients as trauma reenactment syndrome (TRS), which, stresses Miller, explains why they are impervious to treatment in 12-step programs and conventional therapy, often being misdiagnosed and mistreated. The author presents evidence that TRS women can be helped to lasting recovery.

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RE: Curious.. - 12/25/2011 2:15:19 PM   
Kana


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What's the old line about depression being anger turned inwards. Often, this is the same sort of deal.

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RE: Curious.. - 12/25/2011 9:17:26 PM   
sheisreeds


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I've read Women Who Hurt Themselves: A Book Of Hope And Understanding and it's terribly flawed clinically. TRS is not recognized in the psychology field at ALL. What makes it even worse is that it twists the arm of actual evidence based psych theory. The problem with the whole TRS theory is plenty of people who self harm, suffer with eating disorders, and addictions have not been traumatized as children. Also, while cutting is more common in women, it still happens to men. A lot of this division of the sexes is going out of style as norms and gender roles change.

A Bright Red Scream is much better. Both books by the way are extremely graphic, so TRIGGER warning.

Also, while not a research based conclusion I have yet to find a client or person that doesn't agree on the reason why they cut, and it is nearly universal.

It is to communicate and cope with emotional pain.

Self injurers almost universally have poor affect regulation, essentially a lack of internal resources to self soothe, communicate, and process their emotions.

It isn't about necessarily about stress, or depression it's about any emotion that is overwhelming. Self injurers almost universally have a limited ability to communicate their feelings, at times it is like the vocabulary isn't even there. So the self injurer feels something intense and has no way to get rid of it, so they hurt themselves.

The degree to which internal coping skills are impaired is variable. Sometimes it's teens learning to cope with the mood swings, bullying, and not getting a date to the dance. Sometimes it starts and stops over a particular emotional roadblock (e.g. grief).

To speak about it personally, my scars are like a journal. They say what I didn't have words for at the time. They look different based on what I was feeling in the moment. My skin was the canvas. This is why there is so much art and creativity used in therapy.

There is also the addictive property. Self injury is a nice high, and the deeper you cut the more intense it gets. Cutting becomes a way to solve any problem. It's a quick way to feel better than ok, and way better than absolutely terrible.

Recovery is a mix of finding other physical techniques to temper emotions (aromatherapy, music, exercise), and learning to talk. Learning that it is ok to talk about feelings.

That bit there is what concerns me the most about playing with someone with an issue with self injury. Since as a Sadist I depend on the masochist being able to talk to me about what they need to stay safe. I also don't want to feed something that is keeping them unhealthy, I'm not into enabling.

< Message edited by sheisreeds -- 12/25/2011 9:26:39 PM >


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RE: Curious.. - 12/26/2011 5:40:14 AM   
Kana


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quote:

It is to communicate and cope with emotional pain.


Adding on to Reeds comments, I have at least two friends (Female, I only know one male cutter, but I also know a few males who do tattoos and piercings for pretty much the same reason folks cut) who suffer from some depressive issues who are also cutters-they use cutting to anchor themselves, the pain acts as a tether to reality and grounds them.


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"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
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RE: Curious.. - 12/26/2011 7:29:02 AM   
BurntKitty


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

If you answered yes to #1 or #3, and you like mature men with pretty red cages, call me.  I'd be glad to help you with the next 10,000 cuts.


That made me quite tingly all under.

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