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RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/5/2011 4:29:19 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

If honor was as big a deal in bdsm as you make it out to be we would all be posting with our real names. We aren't. Case closed.
We are. Case closed.


(in reply to LizDeluxe)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 4:32:39 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		people i know in real life know my name, and people i've spoken to here for a period of time know my name. but i'm not going to broadcast it out into space, for random googlers and creepazoids to find. 

first names are somewhat innocuous, at least i think so. last names are the ones that matter more.


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(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 6:58:43 AM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		If you post your full name, the Mods will edit it out. They did that to Hanners a while back on her meanings of a names thread.
quote:

for example my full name **full name edited by VideoAdminXi** means


(in reply to LillyBoPeep)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 8:51:28 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I use my real name and if you know where to look my full name is out there.

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 9:11:53 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet


Organizer of play party wants to insure rules are followed
In order to do that, and to protect him from liability, he wants a document signed.
If you don't want to sign, you don't have to participate.
If you do want to participate, the organizer expects you to sign, with your real name.

I just don't see how signing with a phony name is not lying.  But like you said, to each their own.



Going to BDSM gatherings is not exactly my idea of a good time but if I did, it certainly would not be out of line to ME. I would actually be happy that they were that careful and conscientious.

What is blowing MY mind is that people would actually attend an intimate gathering where there would be people so creepy and shady they would not want them knowing their name.

Seriously........if I am not comfortable with people knowing my name......I am NOT going to be hanging out with them!!! Especially in that type of situation.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 12:39:35 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		Maybe the other people aren't the creepy and shady ones. I mean, they used their real names.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 12:52:37 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Funny.  I don't know Michael's real last name.  He might know Mine.

It's not really smart for a female top to be involved in public BDSM to reveal their real name.  All it takes is one fool to start interrupting someone's real life.


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(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 1:04:46 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I personally would never use my real name because I've had stalkers, information get out to the wrong hands, blabbermouths who couldn't wait to tell someone else all about my life, etc....so signing a document at a play party under an assumed name...yup, I'd do it. When I've attended bdsm parties, dungeons and such I never went there to make friends or to socialize. I went to use their equipment that I didn't have at home and a place where I could make more noise than I could elsewhere.

If I wanted to make friends or to socialize I would do it at a gathering without any kind of bdsm  and/or sexual connotations but that's how I operate.



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Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 1:29:38 PM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

Maybe the other people aren't the creepy and shady ones. I mean, they used their real names.


Anybody that named their kid, "Master Doom" should be shot and put on display.


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Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 1:37:27 PM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		If you don't want to tell everyone your name at the event, fine.  But when you are signing a waiver or even just that you have read a list of rules, I think it is deceptive and childish not to provide your real name.  Those things are for the organizer's legal protection, and they have a right to expect you to do so, if you are going to use their facilities.  Or you can stay home.  If you have concerns about your privacy, ask who sees the document and whether it will be kept confidential unless there is a good reason..
Hope some organizers of play parties are reading this thread.  Now they will know to ask for ID when they ask to have a legal document signed.


_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 1:38:10 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I vote for plasticization. 

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 1:39:43 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Hope some organizers of play parties are reading this thread.  Now they will know to ask for ID when they ask to have a legal document signed.



All those people that are scared of it better hope I don't organize any events they will be attending cuz I would!

Just cuz I am mean like that...


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 1:44:23 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		When a friend of mine moved from the area, I had a going-away for him and asked about the invite list. He said, "those people? they aren't my friends. we see them, wwe talk to them, but we don't even know their real names, or what they do for a living".

I am pretty much on that page. I don't need to know someone's full name, but if you want to be my FRIEND, yeah, you pretty much have to come clean. How many folks on CM and Fetl are on the Facebook with me?

I feel very strongly that outing someone is NOT cool, and it's on each of us to post under our own names, or not. I am cool that everyone knows my name is Francine. Not so cool if any schmoe knows my last name, and can find me in the yellow pages. That's an EW.

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(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 1:51:23 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		My point was that if I was going to an intimate event (intimate in that, there are naked bits and sexual tension, for lack of a better word), especially at someone's home, or having an event in my home.....I would expect that everyone in attendance would either already know each others' full name, or would by the end of the event.

Then again, that might just be my environment and how I roll. Around here, as far as I know, random strangers don't show their naked bits, or fuck, publicly....... as a general rule...


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 2:30:56 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14449
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

If you don't want to tell everyone your name at the event, fine.  But when you are signing a waiver or even just that you have read a list of rules, I think it is deceptive and childish not to provide your real name.  Those things are for the organizer's legal protection, and they have a right to expect you to do so, if you are going to use their facilities.  Or you can stay home.  If you have concerns about your privacy, ask who sees the document and whether it will be kept confidential unless there is a good reason..
Hope some organizers of play parties are reading this thread.  Now they will know to ask for ID when they ask to have a legal document signed.

Club X does ask for ID. They also flat out ask you if you are a police officer. They had some issues several years ago where under cover officers entered and arrested several attendees for lewd behavior. All of the cases were thrown out, but they do it to protect themselves and their members.


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(in reply to Iamsemisweet)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 2:51:58 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Ah, but the police are allowed to lie, so their protection is false.

Around here, lots of naked folks using "scene" names. Maybe the folks they are playing with know their names, maybe not.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 2:56:34 PM   
seekerofslut


Posts: 215
Joined: 9/7/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Ah, but the police are allowed to lie, so their protection is false.



Read Alan Dershowitz's testimony before the House Judiciary Committee. Quite interesting.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 3:14:12 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		I used to belong to a club in Ottawa.  It was mainly a swinging club, but the last Friday of every month was Fet night.  They had one incident where a woman came as the guest of a Dom then screamed rape a few days afterwards.  The club owners nearly lost their club trying to fight the charges.  Took them a few years to re-open.  They changed their policy, for obvious reasons.  The woman had made a false allegation, was upset with her Dom after a fight and thought it'd be a good idea to go after everybody she could think of.

After the main re-open, there were rules and regulations that had to be read and signed.  You had to produce ID to make sure you were who you said you were.  DM's were very careful of what went on.  You couldn't just walk into the club as a stranger, you had to know someone the owners knew.  They were trying to protect their livelihood and had every right to after the fiasco that went on.  They, and the Dom, were eventually exonerated and she bore the brunt of the countersuits. 

I had no problems with signing their rules, presenting my ID, it was all kept confidential and was for the owners protection as well as that of others in the club.


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Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/6/2011 10:01:34 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seekerofslut

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Ah, but the police are allowed to lie, so their protection is false.



Read Alan Dershowitz's testimony before the House Judiciary Committee. Quite interesting.


Yep I mostly agree with his view of the perjury situation. Alas none of that matter cuz da supremes say cops can lie to a perp but go ahead and lie to a cop and see what happens. Yer best is keep your mouth shut and "lawyer up".

BadOne

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RE: Question for those who go to play parties - 10/7/2011 6:48:48 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

My point was that if I was going to an intimate event (intimate in that, there are naked bits and sexual tension, for lack of a better word), especially at someone's home, or having an event in my home.....I would expect that everyone in attendance would either already know each others' full name, or would by the end of the event.



That's an interesting opinion.  And it's completely contrary to my experience.

I've attended events in more than 5 different states in the US, and in 3 countries outside of the US, and I have rarely ever known anyone's real name.  Of the literally hundreds (maybe thousands) of kinksters that I've interacted with, I'm sure that I haven't known the full names of over 95% of them.

Most people tend to use scene names.  And privacy/secrecy seems to be the most important policy of most BDSM groups, so few people ever ask me for my full name, and I don't ask for theirs. 

Personally, I don't have a scene name.  I use my first name when I attend local events.  That's what everyone knows me as.  But very few of them know my last name.  Moreover, I don't know most of their last names.

Perhaps I'm different than many of the other people on the board.  But not knowing full names is fairly typical in my experience.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 80
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