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ORIGINAL: needsaroom

If I notice conflicting thoughts I resolve them before making a decision. It's like socks first then shoes.

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ORIGINAL: tolovetolaugh

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ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Having said that though, you obviously see him as someone you could spend your life with. Is he stable in his life right now?

Yes. He is where I aspire to get to in a few years.

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Does he also see you as someone he wants to spend his life with?

No idea. We honestly haven't known each other long enough for that. At this point it is less about lifetime comitment, and more about just having fun.

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Will you realistically be satisfied being apart and will you be able to make it work?

No. I have to be able to touch, to be held on a very regular basis. When he makes rape jokes I want to see that eyebrow wiggle and creepy funny wink. Out of respect for me because I asked him to at paintball, he kept from touching me past what is normal for friends there. I had to settle for just getting my hands on him when I did my normal drunken massages. The whole time I had to fight myself to not touch.

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Obviously you don't find someone who is this perfect for you on every corner.
What are your reasons for wanting to finish school? Is it just to get a degree (which can be pretty meaningless' these days)? Will your degree actually improve your life, such as by making you more employable? Are you sure? Or is it just something you feel you should do because of family expectations, etc?

I have no desire to be a server the rest of my life. Also, with the things I want to do and hobbies I enjoy, I will need to make more money. My other reason is I love animals, and want to work with them. Yes, my degree will make me more employable. I fully believe it will improve my life, and I am excited to get to the classes that deal with the actual animals.

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In short, I think you should use your head. However, what it ends up telling you might be different than what you think. As for the running with the bulls thing, I think you should use your head on that too. Lol.

But...but... they are big and can kill me! I want to hug them all!

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ORIGINAL: Epytropos

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ORIGINAL: needsaroom

If I notice conflicting thoughts I resolve them before making a decision. It's like socks first then shoes.

How do you ever get anything done? I still have conflicting thoughts on things I did 5 years ago, let alone things I'm planning to do.

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ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

I really enjoy reading all this stupidity such as, "I really think I found my match BUT he/she lives far away so no."  Really?  You have made this post that could rival an almanac detailing your feelings towards this friend and then do this whole, friend-zone business that leads you nowhere even more than a LDR would.

I have a question for you:  "Why?"  Why do you think an LDR (which isn't much of one, 5 hours is called traffic in Toronto) would not work out?  Oh right - because you're of the "instant gratification" mind-set.  What you want, you want it now.  Doesn't always pan out that simple.  Sometimes if you want that proverbial carrot, you're going to either chase after it until you catch it or you're going to become lethargic, let it pass you by, and wait around aimlessly.

Either way, you're driving yourselves crazy.  Do you want the good crazy where you both are on the "reserved" list or the bad crazy where you're wondering where they're going out to?  Friends that choose to remain friends when they obviously harbour feelings for eachother will always end up with somebody getting hurt or maybe both. 

I see your situation as an obstacle and people have gone through more vast distances and more tribulations to make that extra step of being together and for every negative LDR experience there's a positive one.  Right now it makes me roll my eyes reading about how you have such chemistry and such a spark with this guy but won't even give it a try or consideration. 

Any guy can just have sex with you.  Not every guy can make that sex have that elusive ingredient called love mixed in.

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ORIGINAL: Awareness

  Look, it's like this.  I don't buy into this ludicrous soulmates guacamola which women are obsessed with.  I don't believe there's just one person out there for each of us.  I think probably one in every 300 matches us, which means there's ten million of the fuckers - in the entire world.

Education, status, wealth, financial security - these are all things which are mostly amenable to effort and scheduling.  Finding someone who inspires passion and brings joy into your life and matches you in so many ways - is not.

Regardless, anything worthwhile can be built slowly.  Fact is, the distance does inspire your passion, but regardless of whether this works or not, the value in life is not the ledger which says whether or not things turned out well.  The value in life is our experiences.  There's nothing sadder in this world than the poor motherfucker who's played it safe all their life and has no highs or lows to show for it.

Yes, you need to finish school but intelligent people can work shit out.  Take it slowly, but don't simply keep running around saying you won't do long distance.  5 hours is workable, Christ you could see each other every weekend - depending on finances.  And frankly, every single thing we know about human nature tells us that a relationship you have to work hard for is more likely to succeed than one you don't - go figure.

Feel your way, make sure he's on the same page before you go the whole hog.  And don't necessarily ask him until you absolutely positively have to.  Keep it light, fun and flirty and see what eventuates.

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How do you ever get anything done? I still have conflicting thoughts on things I did 5 years ago, let alone things I'm planning to do.

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ORIGINAL: Nanako

i've followed my heart a few times, and gotten burnt. Since then it's fair to say i follow my head. sex is about the last thing to discuss with a prospective partner.