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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/9/2011 1:06:35 PM

fragilepieces

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quote:

Have you ever asked him to explain to you WHY he wants you to do certain things? If he is aware of your automatic response to certain situations, he might understand that explaining things helps. If he understands, as you seem to think he does, I don't think he would find an aversion to explaining, in depth, his reasons.

No---but he is reading the thread so we will probably talk about it. Again thanks

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/9/2011 1:08:40 PM

IrishMist

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LOL in that case, I hope he takes no offense at my words; if he does...he can call me out on them

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/9/2011 1:20:57 PM

fragilepieces

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

LOL in that case, I hope he takes no offense at my words; if he does...he can call me out on them

I will take the liberty of saying he won't be offended. If he is then he will tell me--"Stan that's a spanking for being forward and speaking for me." Then I will say something like---'well by now that list you have going for spankings is long enough to take me into social security,' and forget about it until I visit.

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/9/2011 2:55:28 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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quote:

So for the s-types why do you obey?

It's my kink, it's what makes me wet.

quote:

you obey even when your mind is telling you not to?

Yes, the harder it is to obey, the wetter I get.

quote:

Or is there another reason?

It makes Hanners wet too. What more reason could I need?

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/9/2011 3:37:43 PM

Awareness

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*shrug* You've stumbled on the reality that so many are ignorant of. Submission is inspired. It's not taken, it's not demanded, it's not forced, it's definitely not 'given'. It's inspired. Unconscious, without volition, a pure response to the man you're interacting with.

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/9/2011 3:52:46 PM

fragilepieces

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

*shrug* You've stumbled on the reality that so many are ignorant of. Submission is inspired. It's not taken, it's not demanded, it's not forced, it's definitely not 'given'. It's inspired. Unconscious, without volition, a pure response to the man you're interacting with.

That was pretty nice I appreciate the in put and it's probably really exactly what has happened to me because it has only happened a couple times before it did feel kind of forced.

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/9/2011 3:57:20 PM

Aileen1968

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces
So for the s-types why do you obey? It is because it is expected, is it because you have decided to, or does it just happen---you obey even when your mind is telling you not to? Or is there another reason?

I obey because it makes me completely happy to do what he wants. It's always a choice. For me to not obey is like screaming at him that I no longer want him. It is one of the many ways we express love.

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/9/2011 10:57:38 PM

SuzeCheri

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quote:

Unconscious, without volition, a pure response to the man you're interacting with.

Or woman.

But yes, I basically agree with that premise. There are two more or less dominant women in this household, and one of them I have to almost make my self defer to, it's a conscious decision to do it. But the other I just seem to want to defer to, I find myself doing it without really thinking about it at times.

It's a very scary feeling that, the wanting to subordinate yourself to somebody for no real apparent reason other than they are who they are. Scary, but exciting at the same time, sort of like driving really fast.

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/9/2011 11:58:02 PM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces

So for the s-types why do you obey? It is because it is expected, is it because you have decided to, or does it just happen---you obey even when your mind is telling you not to? Or is there another reason?

I like being around him. He's hilarious, (used to do stand-up when he was in college for extra spending money and I truly believe he missed a calling there!) and has street smarts (probably from growing up in the Bronx and spending so much time on the streets) as well as book smarts. He's ambitious, thorough and has a drive I've seldom seen in people as well as excellent follow through. He's also one of the most generous people I've ever had the pleasure to meet. He doesn't put up with any crap (not that I would even consider giving him crap) but at the same time he's quite thoughtful and values my opinion on certain subjects. I appreciate him in so many ways I can't begin to describe them all and not turn this into a book so I'll just say for all of the above reasons and many more, I enjoy being in his presence and he enhances my life to an extraordinary degree. In order for me to be allowed into his inner sanctum, he requires my obedience in all things. I want to follow where he leads because of the man he is so I do obey, happily.

The only times my mind balks at obedience are when he orders me to do things which are bad (read unhealthy) for him. Even then, I obey. He's a big boy and if one or both of us have to suffer the consequence of his decisions.. well, that was the deal when we signed on to this relationship together.. one of those for better, for worse things and after 15 years there are days when I still feel like a gushing school girl.. like when he walked in bald the other day. Completely out of the blue shaved his head and, bam.. I went and fell in love with the sexy beast all over again in a whole different way.

I have this 'thing' for bald guys.. what can I say?

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/10/2011 2:06:11 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I obey because it makes me completely happy to do what he wants. It's always a choice. For me to not obey is like screaming at him that I no longer want him. It is one of the many ways we express love.

Lovely.

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/10/2011 2:08:15 PM

DesFIP

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I submit to him because I trust him, because he inspires me to agree with him, because he's a great decision maker.

We don't have a punishment dynamic because fear just makes me want to isolate myself from him, not be with him, not talk to him, not tell him anything, not trust him.

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/10/2011 4:06:20 PM

M4S73R

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces
So for the s-types why do you obey? It is because it is expected, is it because you have decided to, or does it just happen---you obey even when your mind is telling you not to? Or is there another reason?

Proly one of the best explanations. Well said. +1

I obey because it makes me completely happy to do what he wants. It's always a choice. For me to not obey is like screaming at him that I no longer want him. It is one of the many ways we express love.

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/11/2011 9:47:52 AM

sexyred1

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What makes me want to submit?

A guy who is worth submitting to.

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/11/2011 10:02:55 AM

tolovetolaugh

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces

So for the s-types why do you obey? It is because it is expected, is it because you have decided to, or does it just happen---you obey even when your mind is telling you not to? Or is there another reason?

If its right for me, it just happens, the person draws it out of me. Just by talking, or looking at me, I can get that vibe and want to please them. At which point all I can think about is making them happy, and since obeying makes them happy- that's what happens... with a certain amount of playfulness.
I submit because I crave structure in my life, because it makes me feel safer knowing someone who I trust is in charge and in control.

I make fun of myself for it later, but in the moment I just want to be that "good girl".

If it is because it is expected, or because I have decided to, it's probably not the right relationship for me. It should be natural for me to have to resist the urge to cuddle up at my Doms feet.

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/11/2011 11:44:08 PM

avena

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quote:

So for the s-types why do you obey? It is because it is expected, is it because you have decided to, or does it just happen---you obey even when your mind is telling you not to? Or is there another reason?

I obey because...it's expected. I obey because I've made the conscious decision to obey. I obey because it's automatic.

There are a lot of reasons, and circumstances behind my obedience to D. He does expect me to obey, although he doesn't normally expect me to drop everything and do it RIGHT THIS SECOND...unless he tells me that he needs it done RIGHT THIS SECOND.

He also understands that, in many cases, I make a conscious decision to obey. And sometimes, my brain, my fears, and my desires are in direct opposition in regards to obeying whatever request he's made of me. Sometimes my brain and desires win. Sometimes my fears win. I don't get punished when my fears win.

For every time I have to pause after given a command, and have that little internal argument with myself, there are at least a dozen more times that I simply do as I'm told, and do it happily, without even pausing to think about it. It hasn't always been that way. As I've grown within the relationship, the internal arguments have become fewer and fewer, and the contented, automatic obedience has become more and more frequent.

For me, my obedience to D is an incredibly complex thing, and is difficult to express in words. If I keep trying, I'm going to wind up with a four page long response full of rambling odds and bits...

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/12/2011 12:05:11 AM

myotherself

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I have had relationships where I was expected to obey. A lot of the time I obeyed, but I almost had to talk myself into it. I thought that was the way it was in a D/s relationship.

With Master, it's different. I obey because he wants me to. And that makes me happy. I know he cares enough about me to want me to make healthier choices in life. So on those days when all I want is a bucket of coffee and a slab of chocolate, I have my healthy meal and a trip to the gym because I know it will do me good AND it will please him.

I'm inspired by him, and that's a wonderful feeling.

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/12/2011 10:14:41 AM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces

IrishMist---I appreciate all of your insight. Maybe I do need to see them as requests instead of orders---thanks for the suggestion.

Most of the time when he asks me to do something---I don't have time to ask why he wants me to do it. My mind resists but my body obeys. It doesn't happen all the time but a great deal of it. I am never mad at him---I guess I am angry at myself because I did not allow myself time enough to choose if I actually wanted to do it or not.

Geez just shut the fuck up do as your told or find someone else... yea it's simple shit

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 9/12/2011 10:15:04 AM >

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/12/2011 3:57:41 PM

fragilepieces

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quote:

Geez just shut the fuck up do as your told or find someone else

Considering the number of douche bags available ^, I'm super happy with the man I have.

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/12/2011 4:05:09 PM

DesFIP

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I disagree that being inspired to submit is unconscious, however. I'm sufficiently self aware to be knowledgeable about my feelings. And just because someone pushes the right buttons doesn't mean that my mind won't overrule that first impulse. I don't need to worry about it with The Man however, because he's worth submitting to.

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RE: Inspired or something else - 9/12/2011 9:01:49 PM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: fragilepieces

quote:

Geez just shut the fuck up do as your told or find someone else

Considering the number of douche bags available ^, I'm super happy with the man I have.

Really you are whining so much <I got a freaking earache> about how angry you get when your "beloved" tells you to do something. Boy that sure sound like someone I wanna be with. smirk Sure sounds like the making of a "super happy" relationship.

You sound like my kids when they were 10-12 years old. "Take out the trash" 10 year old gee dad do i have to and then they would stomp around. So here is a idea why dont you grow up???

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 9/12/2011 9:03:16 PM >

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