RE: Dom Lateness (Full Version)

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GreedyTop -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 11:10:09 AM)

the last time I got arrested, I was asked(told) by the cops to coutn off 45 seconds. I did, then added anotner 30, because I KNOW I have no inner clock. I was still off by 15 seconds, but that was within their "aceptable" zone.

MINUTES abd HOURS increase, for me, exponentially.

ETA: damned tiny keyboard I am not used to....



Aynne88 -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 11:15:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Being late, in and of itself, may very well not have any reflection on the importance of the person or event involved.

Just because punctuality is vital to many/some, does NOT mean it is to ALL.


Sure.  We all know somebody who is habitually late.  But are they always late for work (and therefore constantly seeking new jobs)?  If not, then you've proven my point.

But admittedly, there may be some people who have absolutely no control over their tardiness.  Fortunately, most of those people are institutionalized.  [:D]



I think you are attempting to create a mountain from a mole hill. The people I know that are often late, are yes, often late to work. You see, smart people that are a poor judge of time simply find work where time is less an issue. OR, they are such excellent employees that the fact they get to the office at 8:10 am versus 7:55 am, is a non issue.

It really isn't about being in control or not, it is about what is important to the individual. Obviously being on time is important TO YOU. You are not everyone and should not presume to place your issues onto others simply because it is a positive issue TO YOU.



Yep. I am late for my bartending job every single day. It used to drive my boss crazy until he figured out that me being 10 to 20 minutes late didn't really matter since not once have I missed work, called out sick, or asked for any time off. He knows if I am scheduled I am coming, as opposed to the puntcual people that are frigging calling in once a week and need every weekend and holiday off. Then he asks me to fill in for them. Which, I do.



MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 11:16:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeoushair

i thought Doms were supposed to be in complete control of themselves



You bought into the bullshit that just because someone self-identifies as a "Dom" or "Master" or whatever that they are.  My experience has been that probably close to 99% of the alleged Doms/Masters on CM and elsewhere are anything but -- and in fact, most have shown themselves to be little more than broke, undisciplined, unaccomplished, losers who've turned to this dynamic because no 'nilla chick with a brain would have anything to do with them.  But toss a few frilly words into an internet profile, practice a serious-look/tone in the mirror for an hour, and check the Toppy box on a handful of BDSM websites -- and POOF... instant Uber-Toppy-Top for those of the stupid-subbie-sort to automatically ascribe traits of complete control, honor, and similar nonsense to.

I haven't read through the responses to this thread yet, but I'm betting there will be a flood of "Well Doms are people too" comments that will, in essence, excuse your guy's infantile behavior.  Note:  The reason many are searching for one of the dominant sort is because they despise and seek to avoid the lack of control/self-control/accountability your alleged "Dom" has shown.  Anyone can check a box and contrive a serious face and tone... actions speak louder than words -- even those spoken with a stern look and tone.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 11:21:51 AM)

I'm not sure where this doms are in complete control/subs need control dichotomy came from. It reeks of the parent/child dynamic, put dominants on an unreachably high pedestal, and reduces submissives to morons.

We are ALL people, and none of us have achieved perfection/enlightenment/buddhahood. That said, some of us can be real jerks. I hope that your guy decides to suit up and make you more of a priority, OP.



tolovetolaugh -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 11:25:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeoushair

@ Tolov, and all....

Thanks for Y/your post(s).

He has agreed that his lack of punctuality and last minute cancellations were not good things/respectful/courteous, and He is going to change His conduct.  (He wants the relationship to continue.)

i am glad...W/we have otherwise developed a mutually satisfying, if limited, relationship, which works for U/us for now.

Time, of course, will ultimately tell...i am willing to give Him the chance...thanks for all Y/your comments and time....


That's great! :)
Wish you two luck and I hope it works out for you.



Arpig -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 11:25:35 AM)

quote:

My experience has been that probably close to 99% of the alleged Doms/Masters on CM and elsewhere are anything but
And you...of course...are in the 1%. [8|]



MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 11:28:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

My experience has been that probably close to 99% of the alleged Doms/Masters on CM and elsewhere are anything but
And you...of course...are in the 1%. [8|]



You're not very bright, are you?!! [8|]




GreedyTop -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 11:29:43 AM)

ackshully, he is



MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 11:32:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

ackshully, he is



Actually, he's not... as the comment makes ZERO sense.  Anyone with a 3 functioning brain cells that aren't fighting would understand why.




LaTigresse -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 11:46:15 AM)

Only if you are considering the 'give a damn' factor.



MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 11:51:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Only if you are considering the 'give a damn' factor.



As in:  Posting = Give a Damn




LaTigresse -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 12:07:47 PM)

Not necessarily. I do a lot of posting but I do not necessarily give a damn whether or not a person I am reading or replying to is male/female/gay/straight/sub/slave/master/mistress/top/bottom..........or any combination of that mess. Most of the time I do not give a damn enough to go look either. Most of the time, I am simply reading the words and replying to those words.

Your words implied that you felt you were either A. a stellar master (which I assume Arp was referring to, though I could be wrong), or B. no master at all. Considering the name you've chosen for here, it's a toss up. It is either a dominant master type person with a woman in his wine glass, or a slave type person that feels she is in some master's wine glass. A person that gave a damn would likely know which.

Investigating beyond your words would have implied a give a damn. Apparently, since you feel Arp was wrong in his assessment, he lacked the give a damn to know what part of his assessment was wrong.........or right.



MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 12:32:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse


Compelled to post/comment = give-a-damn, else no motivation to do so.  Example: I find your description incorrect, and "give a damn" enough to state so.  The topic at hand was with regard to "Doms". Thus, prior to attibuting dominance (or submission, for that matter) to another, one should have the sense to ensure said person is, in fact, of that ilk -- to do otherwise is either stupid or lazy, or both.  Granted, you may disagree... and I would again disagree with you. 

Moreover, my experience is exactly that... MY EXPERIENCE, and my comment was qualified as such.  If that strikes a nerve with a few insecure alleged Toppy types, then that's their problem. My experience (there it is again), is that 99% of the alleged Doms/Masters out there are anything but.  Period.  Your (and others') experience/qualifiers may be different.





Iamsemisweet -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 1:28:58 PM)

God, MasterSlave, truer words were never spoken.  When I was actively searching for a Dom on the other side, I never ceased to be amazed by the losers who contacted me and tried to use their so called "domness" to overcome other, very obvious shortcomings.     If a "Dom"  is not someone I would consider dating or having a long term relationship with in the vanilla world, I sure as hell am not going to be interested just because they call themselves "sir" or "master". 

Edited because my first post sounded too mean and didn't really convey what I was trying to say. 
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA


quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeoushair

i thought Doms were supposed to be in complete control of themselves



You bought into the bullshit that just because someone self-identifies as a "Dom" or "Master" or whatever that they are.  My experience has been that probably close to 99% of the alleged Doms/Masters on CM and elsewhere are anything but -- and in fact, most have shown themselves to be little more than broke, undisciplined, unaccomplished, losers who've turned to this dynamic because no 'nilla chick with a brain would have anything to do with them.



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 1:38:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

ackshully, he is



Actually, he's not... as the comment makes ZERO sense.  Anyone with a 3 functioning brain cells that aren't fighting would understand why.




Actually he is and it does. Of course understanding it requires comprehension skills...[8|]



MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 1:43:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth


Like comprehending the difference between a dominant and a submissive?!!  While genius may have its limitations, I see stupidity is not thus far handicapped. [8|]

 



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 2:03:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tolovetolaugh

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse


If a person allows something as trivial as a few minutes to rule their emotional well being, they are sooooooooooooooooo not someone I want in my life. Regardless of whether or not I am nearly always on time to meet with them or not.

"Horrible emotional impact..." I mean, seriously?!?!?



Over the course of several months, with 4 out of 5 times the person being late, 1 out of 5 times canceling only after you have been waiting for several hours for them to show up.

I agree a few minutes is trivial, but we are not necessarily talking minutes.



Who the hell stands around waiting for someone for several hours? I would have been long gone.



LaTigresse -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 2:07:18 PM)

No shit. I would have gotten bored and walked, after double digit minutes, if they hadn't called.



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 2:08:59 PM)

quote:

Investigating beyond your words would have implied a give a damn.


It also would have been a waste of time since he? she? doesn't have an active profile. [;)]



LaTigresse -> RE: Dom Lateness (8/31/2011 2:09:56 PM)

That is just rich........I guess we are supposed to just KNOW that a profile of a person who's handle starts with Master, isn't.



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