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Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 8/29/2011 9:40:01 PM   
SAMHAIN09


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Status: offline 		Okay I'm watching this episode of Buffy where Spike gets dumped by Drusilla and falls apart spending most of the episode getting drunk and crying over her and he says "I may be love's bitch but at least I'm man enough to admit it." This got me thinking is it wrong to be so in love with someone that your completely devoted to them and them leaving you completely destroys you? I personally feel that we are all in some way love's bitch.


< Message edited by SAMHAIN09 -- 8/29/2011 9:41:53 PM >
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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 8/29/2011 9:49:53 PM   
tj444


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Status: offline 		Hahaha
I liked the episode when Spike comes back to town and is telling Willow how his love Drusilla dumped him and then told him they "could still be friends". That is the ultimate kiss off line, isnt it?


i guess i just wonder if its really love or not.. or if it is, then doomed to failure due to picking someone without enough compatibility..


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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 8/29/2011 10:01:46 PM   
MalcolmNathaniel


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Status: offline 		Spike: I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded about this. Weeping, crawling, blaming everybody else. I want Dru back, I've just gotta be the man I was, the man she loved. I'm gonna do what I shoulda done in the first place: I'll find her, wherever she is, tie her up, torture her until she likes me again. Love's a funny thing.

YEAH BABY!

Although my absolute favorite quote from the series comes from Spike as well:

Spike: We like to talk big... vampires do. "I'm going to destroy the world." That's just tough-guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I _like_ this world. You've got...dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Good-bye, Picadilly. Farewell, Leicester-bloody-Square.

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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 8/29/2011 10:06:42 PM   
SAMHAIN09


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

Hahaha
I liked the episode when Spike comes back to town and is telling Willow how his love Drusilla dumped him and then told him they "could still be friends". That is the ultimate kiss off line, isnt it?


i guess i just wonder if its really love or not.. or if it is, then doomed to failure due to picking someone without enough compatibility..

Yeah it really is. My fav a long with that is the parts where where he shows up behind Joyce and she ends up comforting him. But I also liked...

Spike: Oh my god. We killed a homeless man on this bench. Me and Dru. You know he begged for mercy and that only made her bite harder.

Spike: I use to bring her rats like the morning paper.

Spike: Love isn't brains children it's blood screaming inside you to do it's will.


< Message edited by SAMHAIN09 -- 8/29/2011 10:17:33 PM >

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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 8/30/2011 1:41:16 AM   
Kaliko


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

Okay I'm watching this episode of Buffy where Spike gets dumped by Drusilla and falls apart spending most of the episode getting drunk and crying over her and he says "I may be love's bitch but at least I'm man enough to admit it." This got me thinking is it wrong to be so in love with someone that your completely devoted to them and them leaving you completely destroys you? I personally feel that we are all in some way love's bitch.



If you're not going to be love's bitch, then why love at all? I want my love to consume me. Destruction is totally worth it.

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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 8/30/2011 2:39:37 AM   
Endivius


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Status: offline 		I allways enjoyed BTVS, but enjoyed the Angel spinoff more. An interesting point someone made to me when talking about this one time:

Ever notice how you got all these guys who kinda follow buffy and angel around being do gooders and such. But at the same time, they don't realize that the real core of thier team, the one who provides them strength, is the only one in the whole group that's normal? I mean really think about it; Buffy is all slayer badassery, Willow is a witch, Anya was a half demon turned human that had all her old demony knowledge, Giles and Wesley were watchers, heck even her sister, Dawn was "the key". But you know who the one person was that every single person turned to for strength? Think about all the times one was in trouble, and this darling came to the rescue... I mean really, the core of the group that everyone got strength from was xander. Remember when willow tried to destroy the world? Who stopped her? How about when anya was running amok on her vengency ways both before and after he left her at the alter? Or when wesley was insecure about he place as buffy's watcher? All xander. And so much more really. Think about it, hes the one person in the whole group who had no super powers, no special training, and he fought just as hard as every other person even though he was kind of a pussy and got his ass kicked a lot.

Now think about Angel's group. Who fit this distinction. Of all the people in it, there was one person that was largely ordinary and had no special powers are abilities, but fought tooth and nail and was there to save everyone's ass on at least one occassion? Gunn. Yep that's right.


and for posterity, one of my favorite quotes:

Spike: You're wrong about Angel. Not that I don't think the sod could end up being a megalomaniacal bastard. It's just that if he did... I'd know it. I'd feel it.
Illyria: You'll have proof soon enough. A corrupted ruler on such a path sees
treachery and betrayal all around him. He cannot suffer intimates
and will eventually turn against them.
Spike: Guess I don't have to worry about that, 'cause Angel and me have never
been intimate. Except that one...


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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 8/30/2011 9:36:02 AM   
TreasureKY


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

... This got me thinking is it wrong to be so in love with someone that your completely devoted to them and them leaving you completely destroys you?


Ignoring the television show love-fest that this thread has become...

My answer would be "yes, it is wrong."

I don't think there's anything wrong with being completely devoted to someone, or they being completely devoted to you.  Preferably the same people at the same time, of course.

I do believe there is a problem with the idea of being so completely parasitic that loss of your object of devotion "destroys you".  Seriously... do you know of anyone who simply dropped dead because they were jilted?

I suspect that "destoyed" in this sense is more a self-destruction type of thing.  Stop eating, stop participating in life, suicide, etc.  Again, those things are self-imposed... created drama.

I'm not saying that a loss like that wouldn't be painful or temporarily debilitating.  As much as I love and adore Firm... losing him would be extremely painful... life would go on and I would eventually get over it.  I wouldn't be "destroyed".

quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

I personally feel that we are all in some way love's bitch.


I disagree.  Some are, and some aren't.

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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 8/30/2011 10:29:10 AM   
sexyred1


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Status: offline 		Interesting question.

When you are young and first in love/lust, it is easy to become love or lust's bitch. Please..I spent half my life feeling that way and if I was not involved in some gothic romance of sorts, then what was wrong with me?

What was wrong, was that I believed that bullshit, I believed that if my relationships were dramatic and passionate and intense, that meant we loved each other SOOOOOOOOO much and that was normal. I was addicted to the adrenaline rush of the fights, break up, get back together, intensity.

Now I believe that love is a healthy thing, a nurturing and growing thing, fraught with highs and lows, needing flexibility and compromise and actually really liking the person you are in love with.

It is not enough to want each other, doing that without having the like factor and real compatibility, makes it the type of thing that some may feel destroyed over.

Love does not have to be destructive to feel passionate. It does not have to destroy you; you just have to be self aware and aware of what you are getting into and when you need to get out of it, do not let anything or anyone destroy you; only you can do that to yourself.

Seriously, I always thought I was a smart cookie and generally I am, but boy was I not smart about love for a long time.

Now, if I choose to be love's bitch, it will be with someone that deserves it.

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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 8/30/2011 11:46:50 AM   
MissImmortalPain


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Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		Removing buffy from this and getting to the heart of the question. No one likes being told they are a "bitch" to anything. At least not in the manner you are useing it. What you are talking about though, from what you said, is a psychological term called total, or complete, love. Shrinks use it to tag people like old folks who have been married for 50+ years. They grow old together. One gets sick and dies. Shortly there after no matter what its health is so does the other. It is believed that the other often dies because their love was so complete that they really could no longer live without the other person. I have since first learning about it found it to be amazing. To believe that kind of love can still happen. It's really not as horrid as some people might think\ but it is on the rapid decline, and has been for years.

If I didn't make it clear(which I more than likely didn't) No, there is nothing wrong with being loves "bitch"

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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 8/30/2011 4:04:54 PM   
tj444


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Status: offline 		ok all you Buffy haters! enough already!

sometimes these forums get a little too serious. I thought the Buffy thing was funny, the lines used in that show crack me up.. its nice to have comic relief once in a while, ya know..

but,.. on to the thought of "complete love".. my first boyfriends grandparents were together forever, then she got Alzhiemers and they were both put in a home.. she died about 6 months after moving in there and he died shortly after.. I dont know that it was complete love tho,.. it could be that without that other person there, life is totally turned around and that might be what cant be handled.. cuz even tho we want to believe its complete love, some couples are actually more like long time room mates than spouses..

I personally think the reason my boyfriends grandfather passed on was greatly due to being put in a home, for decades he had his little house and yard with fruit trees and his begonias that he would do cuttings for every spring.. everything that had given him joy was gone.. basically, he had nothing left to live for.. Imo, a lot of people put into homes die fast due to the drastic change in environment, not due to losing their spouse..

Now that is jmo,.. I have seen senior couples that were still madly in love and in those cases, yes, perhaps they do have complete love. Its a romantic thought,. but even if i lost the love of my life i still would want to live on and try to enjoy what life i had left..

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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 8/30/2011 4:24:03 PM   
hardcybermaster


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Status: offline 		better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all

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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 8/30/2011 8:22:13 PM   
Endivius


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quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster

better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all



You won't lose them if you keep them chained up!

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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 8/30/2011 8:24:36 PM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		YES.

I don't care what the TV says. If your priorites are not for yourself first you are either insane or a liar.

No other choices.

T^T

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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 8/31/2011 11:34:35 AM   
SAMHAIN09


Posts: 207
Joined: 11/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius


quote:

ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster

better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all



You won't lose them if you keep them chained up!
You and Spike are on the same wavelength.

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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 8/31/2011 11:55:19 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

... This got me thinking is it wrong to be so in love with someone that your completely devoted to them and them leaving you completely destroys you?


Ignoring the television show love-fest that this thread has become...

My answer would be "yes, it is wrong."

I don't think there's anything wrong with being completely devoted to someone, or they being completely devoted to you.  Preferably the same people at the same time, of course.

I do believe there is a problem with the idea of being so completely parasitic that loss of your object of devotion "destroys you".  Seriously... do you know of anyone who simply dropped dead because they were jilted?

I suspect that "destoyed" in this sense is more a self-destruction type of thing.  Stop eating, stop participating in life, suicide, etc.  Again, those things are self-imposed... created drama.

I'm not saying that a loss like that wouldn't be painful or temporarily debilitating.  As much as I love and adore Firm... losing him would be extremely painful... life would go on and I would eventually get over it.  I wouldn't be "destroyed".

quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

I personally feel that we are all in some way love's bitch.


I disagree.  Some are, and some aren't.



I don't know anything about this Buffy thing but regarding the topic otherwise........Treasure nailed it for me. I've been really 'in love' five times in my life. As painful as some stuff was, I wasn't even close to being destroyed. A mega drama queen with myself certainly, but destroyed.......oh hell NO.

At this point in life, no more ridiculous drama. If they want to be with me and love me enough to put up with my bullshit, and I love them enough to put up with them and their bullshit.......it's all good. If not, "See ya and thanks for the good times!" I eat some ice cream, cry a few tears and get the fuck over it.

It really can be that simple.


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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 8/31/2011 10:37:18 PM   
Endivius


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

You and Spike are on the same wavelength.




You don't have to be a 200 year old vampire to appreciate a well designed dungeon...

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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 9/1/2011 12:55:23 AM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline 		I'm a little upset that I immediately recognized this quite when I saw the thread title heh.

"You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood...blood screaming inside you to work its will."


To answer the original question, no, it's not wrong. It isn't well-advised or healthy, but neither are most things worth doing.

EDIT:Didn't like the middle bit on reflection.


< Message edited by Epytropos -- 9/1/2011 12:57:12 AM >

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RE: Is it wrong to be love's bitch? - 9/1/2011 1:29:56 AM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
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Status: offline 		I don't know this "love" but I have "lust" on speed-dial.

This is actually a post to see if I'm still awaiting approval.  Sorry.


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