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ORIGINAL: myotherself

I'm a teacher - I tend to read through typos and make assumptions from the general trend [:D]

But to add to my original post...in the last couple of weeks I've had to deal with nursing my dying father and then the funeral. Two weeks of hell. During that time I didn't see Master.

Today he came over. He agreed to be very gentle with me because emotionally I'm on a bit of a roller coaster. However when he arrived, I needed physical release. I needed the pain. I got on my knees and begged him to cane me. And every time he stopped, I begged for more.

I knew I could trust him to stop when it was too much...and now a couple of hours later I'm bruised all over and I feel so calm, peaceful and ready to sleep. Something I haven't managed for the past 2 weeks.

A couple of hours of pain gave me what a whole pharmacy full of drugs couldn't.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Firstly, condolences to the bunny.

OP, if you feel the hits are done with negative intent, or you internalize that as being negative, then it isn't good for you. For others, who have no negative emotions attached to it, the situation may well be otherwise.

Is a karate competition negative in and of itself? That involves being struck, kicked, hit, etc. How about a high school football game? There's a lot of striking going on there. Yet my now college freshman is wistful about his high school football career, wishing it wasn't over or that he was good enough to play college ball. He feels nothing negative about it.

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ORIGINAL: RaspberryLemon

Personally I do not understand or see the benefit or enjoyment in any sort of pain. I have a hard time empathizing with those who do enjoy it or find it beneficial, because I just don't get it. But if they like it, what's wrong with it?

The human body heals. Bruises or even minor lacerations are commonplace and disappear within a matter of days. As long as permanent, severe, or irreversible damage is not done to the body, I see no problem with it. Some people like it, some don't. I don't personally, but it's not up to me to decide what other people should be doing inside their own escapades or relationships. If they enjoy having pain be a part of that, it's their decision and there's nothing really wrong with that unless it's causing real psychological or severe physical harm to someone.

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ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

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ORIGINAL: RaspberryLemon

Personally I do not understand or see the benefit or enjoyment in any sort of pain. I have a hard time empathizing with those who do enjoy it or find it beneficial, because I just don't get it. But if they like it, what's wrong with it?

The human body heals. Bruises or even minor lacerations are commonplace and disappear within a matter of days. As long as permanent, severe, or irreversible damage is not done to the body, I see no problem with it. Some people like it, some don't. I don't personally, but it's not up to me to decide what other people should be doing inside their own escapades or relationships. If they enjoy having pain be a part of that, it's their decision and there's nothing really wrong with that unless it's causing real psychological or severe physical harm to someone.

Have you ever tried it?

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He fundamentally does not enjoy it because he is not gay, hence he doesn't need to try it to know it's not for him.

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ORIGINAL: RaspberryLemon

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ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

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ORIGINAL: RaspberryLemon

Personally I do not understand or see the benefit or enjoyment in any sort of pain. I have a hard time empathizing with those who do enjoy it or find it beneficial, because I just don't get it. But if they like it, what's wrong with it?

The human body heals. Bruises or even minor lacerations are commonplace and disappear within a matter of days. As long as permanent, severe, or irreversible damage is not done to the body, I see no problem with it. Some people like it, some don't. I don't personally, but it's not up to me to decide what other people should be doing inside their own escapades or relationships. If they enjoy having pain be a part of that, it's their decision and there's nothing really wrong with that unless it's causing real psychological or severe physical harm to someone.

Have you ever tried it?

Not in this context, no. I mean, obviously in my lifetime I've experienced some pain from various sources. There hasn't been one time it was enjoyable to me. Before you say "it's different"--I know. For you and for others it might be different, but I can give you a 100% guarantee that it's not for me and that I won't like it. I know myself well enough to know that I don't enjoy being hurt (physical or mental) in any way under any circumstance. It might be enjoyable for some people but the big thing here is that I don't want to try it. I also am not in a relationship with someone who would be considered in any way to be a sadist, so he also has no desire to hurt me.

I don't know if you were headed in this direction, so I apologize for rambling about something irrelevant if you were not, but I think "don't knock it till you try it" doesn't really apply here. It's similar to saying to a straight man that he won't know whether or not he enjoys getting fucked by a man in the ass until he tries it. He fundamentally does not enjoy it because he is not gay, hence he doesn't need to try it to know it's not for him. Similar thing here.

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ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather
Geeze, I wish guys would extend that sort of understanding to lesbians.

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ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

Actually the reason that I asked is that I wondered what vantage point you were viewing this from. I never would have viewed myself as a masochist before experiencing it. I just didn't get the appeal of those who were into spankings and the like. It wasn't my thing. I met a masochist at a party and asked her what it was she got out of it. She tried to explain, but despite all of my questions and her answers, I still didn't get it.

I don't think the example you gave is a fair or realistic. You just can't compare the two. And while you may believe it's something you could never be interested in, I know that I'm not the only person on the planet to go from having zero interest in getting my ass beaten, to very much enjoying it. Sometimes a person just never knows what might change their mind.

I'm not saying you should try it, after all, that's a personal choice. Unless you stay with the man you're presently with for the rest of your life, you may end up meeting someone who is a sadist...and a part of you may want to please that part of him. Who knows, I'm just tossing out a theory. ;)

And while you may believe you know yourself well enough, there will probably come a time in your life when you discover you really don't. And I don't necessarily mean anything related to kink. Most of us grow and change in life. There are experiences we could never have predicted and some of those experiences can change us and our opinions of who and what we are. Basically, what it all boils down to, is "never say never". :)

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ORIGINAL: RaspberryLemon

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ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather
Geeze, I wish guys would extend that sort of understanding to lesbians.

They should.

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ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

Actually the reason that I asked is that I wondered what vantage point you were viewing this from. I never would have viewed myself as a masochist before experiencing it. I just didn't get the appeal of those who were into spankings and the like. It wasn't my thing. I met a masochist at a party and asked her what it was she got out of it. She tried to explain, but despite all of my questions and her answers, I still didn't get it.

I don't think the example you gave is a fair or realistic. You just can't compare the two. And while you may believe it's something you could never be interested in, I know that I'm not the only person on the planet to go from having zero interest in getting my ass beaten, to very much enjoying it. Sometimes a person just never knows what might change their mind.

I'm not saying you should try it, after all, that's a personal choice. Unless you stay with the man you're presently with for the rest of your life, you may end up meeting someone who is a sadist...and a part of you may want to please that part of him. Who knows, I'm just tossing out a theory. ;)

And while you may believe you know yourself well enough, there will probably come a time in your life when you discover you really don't. And I don't necessarily mean anything related to kink. Most of us grow and change in life. There are experiences we could never have predicted and some of those experiences can change us and our opinions of who and what we are. Basically, what it all boils down to, is "never say never". :)

I do intend to stay with my current Master indefinitely.

Yes, people grow and change but there are certain fundamentals that stay the same. You or other people may not have known or thought you'd have masochistic tendencies but I can assure you I am not like that. I personally associate pain and getting beaten very negatively; it would not be healthy for me to try and involve that and I have no desire to. Once again, I don't enjoy pain or getting hurt and I don't believe it should be involved with intimacies or affection--I don't understand why or how people can do it and this varies with everyone so it really doesn't matter if it works for them. But the lack of involving pain works for me and my Master and I'm very glad we share the same opinions/desires on that subject. I think hurting your loved ones in any way is wrong (don't misinterpret, I don't mean to apply this globally or generally, just personally--while as someone mentioned a Buddhist paradox or something earlier, if pain does not harm said person it isn't really hurting them--pain DOES feel like harm to me.) I don't kiss my enemies, and I don't beat my loved ones (or receive said beatings.) To me, pain and affection are distinctly separate. I prefer to keep it that way.

I don't think that in this case "trying it" will override all previous feelings I have towards the subject, so I do believe (at least for me) that it is akin to saying that until a straight man tries gay sex he will not know if he's gay or not. Sure, there are those who thought they were straight and ended up finding out they weren't, but for the most part I would say if you feel heterosexual, you are heterosexual. Despite the fact that people can change, they don't always do, especially when they feel strongly about something.

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ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

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He fundamentally does not enjoy it because he is not gay, hence he doesn't need to try it to know it's not for him.

Geeze, I wish guys would extend that sort of understanding to lesbians.

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ORIGINAL: gorgeoushair

@ RaspberryLemon:

Some people believe that cells in your body have memory and that injuries to the body can ultimately show up as disease...I am not sure I buy it right now, but I am looking into it....thanks for your response...