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LillyBoPeep -> RE: Inversely Proportional? (8/7/2011 5:35:02 AM)
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i think that might have more to do with the Dominants in question than with the women being "too attractive to be submissive." he might be making assumptions about her because he's insecure. if she doesn't ask "how high" when he says "jump off a bridge" his insecurity could color that to mean "she's only disobeying because she's too hot for me."
but of course, people who are generally very attractive have a tendency to expect to be treated a certain way; they've been treated that way since they were kids, so they're used to it. as far as scientific studies go, there have been studies showing that even attractive children are treated better, even in relation to their own siblings. these children are more likely to hear how pretty they are, how good or smart they are, etc etc. so when you grow up that way, i imagine you expect it to just be there all the time.
people who are very aware of their attractiveness know it's a commodity and some of them will bank on it. they look for partners who are "in their league" in one way or another; similar looks, financial means, or some other factor. but i think a lot of men who are with conventionally beautiful partners feel that she is more likely to cheat, which flips on their insecurity and possessiveness switches.
and like it or not, the world is what it is; girls who are considered less attractive usually feel they have to fall into the "but she's got a good personality" category, so maybe there is more of a tendency to express more submissiveness, at least at first, in hoping you'll catch someone. there's more of a tendency to settle when someone finding you attractive isn't all that common. not fishing for compliments here at all, but in my last relationship, it actually took me a while to accept that he thought i was beautiful; i thought he just thought i was interesting enough to stick around with. =p he was VERY attractive to me, and had a bunch of chicks following him around, and i thought he was way out of my league.
conventional beauty is kind of threatening, and it polarizes people. i think women generally assume that ALL MEN only want conventionally beautiful women, which isn't true at all. there may be science showing which factors translate to beauty for most people, but i really do believe it's in the eye of the beholder. and it can be seen differently once you know a person well enough to factor in other aspects of their personality.
and not every conventionally attractive person is free of insecurity and overflowing with confidence; sometimes it's the exact opposite. they feel like they only have partners because of their looks, or they don't see what others see. it sounds silly but sometimes they even feel like all the compliments and jokes about their attractiveness is a burden. there's a girl i know locally who is ridiculously attractive by most people's standards. she's in her early twenties, weighs maybe 120 lbs, she's got long blonde hair and is in pretty great shape. some of our other friends constantly joke about sending her out to meet people for them because she's the most attractive; any time she's around it's basically a barrage of comments about how attractive she is to men, and she has said before that those kinds of comments bother her. plus, she has a legitimate concern that people don't take her seriously, and that all the comments about her negatively affect the self-esteem of others around her who don't get them.
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