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MileHighM -> RE: How Races and Religions Match in Online Dating (8/6/2011 11:01:52 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
LafayetteLady, I didn't interpret their conclusions the way you did. The way I interpreted it was that we are probably less racist and prejudicial than we think we are.
Does anyone else see it that way?
Of course that's what that shows. However, I am of the mind that while the internet makes us more accepting of people, we are becoming more picky with people than before. Being exposed to more ideas and people we are less likely to be judgemental and outwardly racist. When it comes to dating, the internet allows to be more selective than ever.
Before internet dating, you would have to meet people. Therefore, you were forced to be more social (I don't consider chatting on the web to be very social, no personal interaction). Even though you might not initially consider someone datable material, being social with them you have the opportunity to get to know them and maybe even fall in love (think office romance). On the internet, you fill out these matricies of data where you say what you do or don't want. With thousands of people online who maybe local to you, it is in your best interest to be selective to cull through the herd, so to speak. In some ways that is a limiting factor.
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Example:
DISCLAIMER : (ALL THOSE READING THIS DON'T GO OFF TRYING TO READ INTO IT FOR MORE THAN IT IS WORTH!!!!! I AM NOT GOING TO GO ON A 12 POST RUN TRYING TO DEFEND MYSELF TO A MORON WHO DIDN'T GET WHAT I WAS SAYING!!!!)
I met my wife online. I used an internet dating service (not this one, but a vanilla one, and we were both BDSM who woulda thought). When I set up my dating preferences, I didn't include african-americans as an option. Why? Not cause I wouldn't date one. It is simple, in my life I don't find many who are particularly attractive. Some I find gorgeous, but on average not many. In the past, the ones I have found attractive, were not interested in me. I have always had more luck with caucasians, asians and indians. I limited my options online, not for reasons of racism, just convenience.
Sometimes it was in reverse though. I am not jewish, but I didn't mind dating jews. I have in the past. However, I didn't get one jewish match in a year. Why, probably because all the jews on the site in my area and age range didn't want to date an agnostic (granted this is speculation, but it makes sense).
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When it come to the net, when we are looking for love, I think sometimes it stops us from thinking outside the box. Too many people I know would bitch about how few a matches they were getting, and I looked at their profiles and they were extremely selective. I told them to be a little more flexible, but in their minds they were trying to find the end all ideal person (hard, considering expectations and some of these fuckers weren't too attractive).
For as many sites, like this one, that don't give a shit who or what you are. There are also ones exclusive to certain groups. You have muslim, jewish, mormon, christian, catholic, cougar, etc dating sites, which are pretty specific. They thrive on peoples' preconcieved notions of perfection or idealistic choices.
I am not sure if you can call all of this racism (I personally don't), but it is selectivism if you want to call it something. I agree with LafayetteLady, that a better indicator is who you are willing to make friends with and associate yourself with. Dating can be a lot like fetish, we like what we like, and we don't what we don't and there is no rhyme nor reason for it.
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