Culinary Clusterfuck.

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MissAsylum -> Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 3:40:49 PM)
I'm making a birthday dinner for the mister man on friday. He is stuck between two foods that I can cook like nobody's business:chicken fajitas with rice and juicy Lucy burgers. I was thinking of stuffing the burgers with a bit of rice, chicken fajitas and cheese. Chicken and rice cooked, of course. Would anybody have any advice as to how I could go about this?

popularDemand -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 3:57:26 PM)
buy-in. pD

mnottertail -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 4:00:16 PM)
chicken fajitas (small batch) cut into <1/2 pieces across, toothpick em. appetizer with drinks. Jucy lucy for actual supper. Don't ask em this again, unless you got a hella blowjob style. Next!!!!

RapierFugue -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 4:00:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum I'm making a birthday dinner for the mister man on friday. He is stuck between two foods that I can cook like nobody's business:chicken fajitas with rice and juicy Lucy burgers. I was thinking of stuffing the burgers with a bit of rice, chicken fajitas and cheese. Chicken and rice cooked, of course. Would anybody have any advice as to how I could go about this? I wouldn't imagine it's that tricky if you have a burger press; make two thin patties, separately, then load one with a thin layer of cooked fajita mix, place the second patty on top and press gently. If you have the "open at the bottom, plunger on top" sort of burger press (and no, I have no better way of explaining that), rather than the "lever that presses down" sort I would also imagine that you could press one thin patty, leave it in the press but lift the plunger, add the "filling", then gently add some more mince mixture and re-press that. But, thinking about it, I can't help thinking that, even if you succeed, what are you left with? It's a sort of nothing dish. Stuffing a burger with, say chilli? Yeah I could see that. Maybe. But if you want my opinion you're better off making the 2 items separately, rather than creating what you have (I think) correctly labelled as bit of a clusterfuck. PS: I always like hearing about recipes - how do you make your burgers? I use a fairly simple method with mine, having experimented a lot over the years, but if yours are extra yummy then by all means share if it's not your trade secret :)

hardcybermaster -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 4:02:12 PM)
could be interesting....or could be a bit of a dogs breakfast. I like burgers and rice and chicken and cheese but all in a burger? Have you considered how big the burger will be? Fuckin huge! lol I would eat it if someone put it infront of me but I am not sure how well fajita and cheese go together. Maybe fajita for starter and burger for mains? Make it into a 3 course extravaganza? anyway I would love to know how it turns out if you go for the monster burger option

hardcybermaster -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 4:06:30 PM)
giving nothing away there rapier? so how do you make yours?

RapierFugue -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 4:07:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum Would anybody have any advice as to how I could go about this? I've just thought of something else - I am not an expert on food hygiene (beyond the basics) but IIRC cooked rice is a bugger for accepting germs from other foods. Now minced beef doesn't usually contain too much in the way of nasties (it's used in some cheaper French restaurants as a kind of poor man's steak Tartare) but I do wonder if there's any risk of uncooked meat being in close (i.e. pressed) proximity to cooked rice? The rice would have to be properly chilled I would think, much as when doing stuffing for Christmas/Thanksgiving? Maybe I'm being paranoid, and if there are any toxicologists or EHOs reading this then please put me straight, but I'd hate for you to end up after a lovely meal arguing over who gets first go on the bog, due to a massive dose of the shared shits. one of my fave dishes ... haven't done it in a while, so will do so tomorrow!

impishlilhellcat -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 4:09:33 PM)
I generally stuff burgers for my husband with cheese and jalapeno's and some other things..... You will have to use egg or something other to wet down the burger because the rice will dry it up and it won't stay together well.. not too much though or they will fall apart. Cut the chicken up to small pieces (dice it). You should just be able to add the cheese, rice, and chicken to the burger(remember this is uncharted territory as far as taste). I wouldn't add too much rice... Another option is to use turkey burger it tends to be more of canvas. You could just season it the way you would the chicken and add the rice and cheese to the burger and then make patties.. Or... They make chicken that is ground that can be made into burgers and you could just season it and add the rice and cheese. Think about it in terms of making meatloaf only at the end you are going to make patties. Or maybe you could make a chicken fajita roll-up or something like that instead of stuffing anything.

RapierFugue -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 4:20:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster giving nothing away there rapier? so how do you make yours? Oh I'm not being cagey it's just mine, after years of trying this and that, are so basic that it seems a bit laughable of me to say. But it's roughly; 500g (about a pound) of non-lean, quality mince - must have some fat in! Makes 4 x 1/4lb burgers. 1 egg yolk per 500g Sea salt (about a teaspoon) Generous grind fresh black pepper 2 teaspoons L&P Worcestershire sauce Few drops of Tabasco (quite a few, but not as much as a teaspoon ... call it half a teaspoon?) Everything in a bowl, squidge together by hand (must be by hand) to break up the meat fibres, so massaged for about a minute. Into a nice press, 1/4 pound at a time; I use a really good (but cheap) plastic one made by Lakeland Plastics, and also have their matching wax paper discs, meaning you can keep them a) separate easily and b) moist coz they don't lose moisture to the air while you prep the rest. Let them rest for 10 mins at room temperature - very important. Staggeringly hot non-stick pan, no oil, dry, furnace temperature. Or BBQ of course. 90 seconds per side giving a lovely char-grilled outside, but a lovely rare inner. 120-150 seconds per side if you're not keen on rare, but I love it. But don't overcook or you might as well eat cardboard. When you turn them place a slice of Emmental cheese on each for the second side's cooking - I much prefer Emmental to "plastic" cheese and you can buy it ready sliced too these days. Serve on toasted buns (ooh matron!) with loads of sliced dill pickles and the BBQ Pit Boys Vodka Chilli BBQ Sauce - it's sensational stuff: http://youtu.be/kMBZZT1BWD4 It tastes gooooooood! :)

MissAsylum -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 4:21:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail chicken fajitas (small batch) cut into <1/2 pieces across, toothpick em. appetizer with drinks. Jucy lucy for actual supper. Don't ask em this again, unless you got a hella blowjob style. Next!!!! I have major skills.

playfulotter -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 4:35:34 PM)
I would make a good Mexican rice as a side dish and use all ground chicken meat for the juicy Lucy part... and add onions and peppers to the meat along with Mexican spices and then fill with Jalapeno jack cheese....

RapierFugue -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 4:37:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum I have major skills. I am Captain Chaos.

MissAsylum -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 4:50:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RapierFugue quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum I'm making a birthday dinner for the mister man on friday. He is stuck between two foods that I can cook like nobody's business:chicken fajitas with rice and juicy Lucy burgers. I was thinking of stuffing the burgers with a bit of rice, chicken fajitas and cheese. Chicken and rice cooked, of course. Would anybody have any advice as to how I could go about this? I wouldn't imagine it's that tricky if you have a burger press; make two thin patties, separately, then load one with a thin layer of cooked fajita mix, place the second patty on top and press gently. If you have the "open at the bottom, plunger on top" sort of burger press (and no, I have no better way of explaining that), rather than the "lever that presses down" sort I would also imagine that you could press one thin patty, leave it in the press but lift the plunger, add the "filling", then gently add some more mince mixture and re-press that. But, thinking about it, I can't help thinking that, even if you succeed, what are you left with? It's a sort of nothing dish. Stuffing a burger with, say chilli? Yeah I could see that. Maybe. But if you want my opinion you're better off making the 2 items separately, rather than creating what you have (I think) correctly labelled as bit of a clusterfuck. PS: I always like hearing about recipes - how do you make your burgers? I use a fairly simple method with mine, having experimented a lot over the years, but if yours are extra yummy then by all means share if it's not your trade secret :) le sigh If you knew how this dude eats....he's built of muscle. This idea spawned out of him being indecisive about what he wanted. Yep, this is totally a cluster fuck ofa dish, but I know if I pulled it off, it would be nothing short of amazing. As for recipe I was taught to cook without actual measurements ....just going by what looks right. -70/30 or 75/25 ground beef, a pound and a half or so. -about half a cup of panko bread crumbs -an egg 2 tablespoons(ish) of: smoked paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, liquid smoke extract, pepper(fresh ground), chili powder. onion pulp (ground to the point of no recognizable pieces- he doesn't eat onion in big pieces)- about half a cup, or half of one. Combine, I sear them on one side, bake at 350 for a half hour. Bam, done.

RapierFugue -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 5:01:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum As for recipe I was taught to cook without actual measurements ....just going by what looks right. -70/30 or 75/25 ground beef, a pound and a half or so. -about half a cup of panko bread crumbs -an egg 2 tablespoons(ish) of: smoked paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, liquid smoke extract, pepper(fresh ground), chili powder. onion pulp (ground to the point of no recognizable pieces- he doesn't eat onion in big pieces)- about half a cup, or half of one. Combine, I sear them on one side, bake at 350 for a half hour. Bam, done. Sounds barking. I'll give it a go! :) Thank you :)

MissAsylum -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 5:06:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RapierFugue quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum As for recipe I was taught to cook without actual measurements ....just going by what looks right. -70/30 or 75/25 ground beef, a pound and a half or so. -about half a cup of panko bread crumbs -an egg 2 tablespoons(ish) of: smoked paprika, onion powder, garlic powder, liquid smoke extract, pepper(fresh ground), chili powder. onion pulp (ground to the point of no recognizable pieces- he doesn't eat onion in big pieces)- about half a cup, or half of one. Combine, I sear them on one side, bake at 350 for a half hour. Bam, done. Sounds barking. I'll give it a go! :) Thank you :) Enjoy!

Hippiekinkster -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 6:42:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hardcybermaster could be interesting....or could be a bit of a dogs breakfast. I like burgers and rice and chicken and cheese but all in a burger? Have you considered how big the burger will be? Fuckin huge! lol I would eat it if someone put it infront of me but I am not sure how well fajita and cheese go together. Maybe fajita for starter and burger for mains? Make it into a 3 course extravaganza? anyway I would love to know how it turns out if you go for the monster burger option She's not making fajitas, she's making fajita-style chicken.

Termyn8or -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 7:49:21 PM)
I'd go along with what others said but------ I wouldn't use Worchestershire in something with chicken. Ground chicken can be had, and you can add things like the cheese and some peppers to it. I agree on the eggs, especially with chicken which won't have enough fat. You can mix in diced cheese as well. I would go with more eggs though, like two per pound. Onions and garlic of course belong in everything. Or instead of putting the garlic in you could toast the buns with garlic butter. Soften some butter, and chop the livin sheepshit outta some garlic or use a garlic press. Mix and then spread it on the open faces of the buns. Stick them in the broiler and don't take your eyes off of them. I would say put cheese on the burgers but not if you put cheese in the burgers. Your call. T^T

erieangel -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 8:01:34 PM)
My son taught me how to make perfect hamburger patties that won't fall apart like mine always do (yep, he's the cook in our house and a great one) 3 lbs. ground beef 1 egg white a couple handfuls of bread crumbs salt and pepper and other seasonings to taste Mix well then put it between two sheets of wax paper and roll with a rolling pin. When it is thin, remove top sheet of wax paper, fold into a small square and repeat process. The rolling removes the air pockets and gives you nice tight burger. Shape into patties and cook either in a fry pan or on the grill to desired doneness.

heartcream -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 8:14:24 PM)
Give him the fajitas like Ron said, as tapas. Blow him with your major skills and then feed him burgers! Glad to help!

Termyn8or -> RE: Culinary Clusterfuck. (8/3/2011 9:06:18 PM)
"1 egg white " What do you do with the yolk ? T^T

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