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MistressDarkArt -> RE: Sorry to be blunt, but.....Best Lubricant for a Squirter (7/8/2011 11:17:09 PM)
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Silicone personal lubricants are my specialty; I use MD-endorsed formulas that are made from completely inert, surgical-grade silicone blends. As a cosmetic crafter, I'm comfortable with formulating and decided to produce them for my own personal use after I found everything available over-the-counter to be 'not quite right'. Some were grainy-feeling and thin (my problem w/Wet Plat) due to use of too much dimethicone instead of dimethiconol, some (like Pink) were the right texture but contained aloe and vitamin e, which some people are allergic to, and the closest one I found to ideal was Juntos, but it contained a type of silicone that did not pass my rigorous safety standards for women of childbearing years.
It's called J:3. Don't bother to do a search for it; I don't market it because it simply isn't worth the hassle of patenting, becoming a shipping drone, and dealing with potential lawsuits when somebody decides to fill up their bathtub with it and drowns. It can be used anywhere on or in the body except in the eyes. Stays put in water (or...um, squirt fluid) but is easily removed with soap/water. It doesn't get sticky or dry out, and there is no propylene glycol or glycerin to cause yeast infections or UTIs. There are no colorants, frangrances, vitamins, aloe, parabens or preservatives to cause irritation and it is completely tasteless and odorless. The 200 folks who field-tested it for me used it for every-orifice sex (including ass fans, who said it lasted longer than anything they ever tried and guys who said it was the best jack-off juice in the world), conditioning their hair (it makes the most awesome detangler, de-frizzer, and shine-adder), as a body-massage lubricant (the benefit of which is no one is allergic to it, it's odorless though scents can be added if desired, and it doesn't leave skin oily, just silky smooth when wiped off with a towel), shaved sensitive areas using it as a lubricant, unsticking cranky zippers, squeaky hinges...the list goes on. People got very imaginative with the stuff, and 200 people are hooked on it and want to sign a disclaimer so I will continue to supply them with it.
If anyone wants to give it a try...help me think of a way to recover my production/shipping costs and guarantee I'm 'held harmless' when some dumbass decides to see how long he can hold his breath in a pool of it...send me a note on the other side.
If that's too much trouble and you want something commercially available now, are not allergic to topical Vit. E or aloe, go with Pink. If you're no longer in the childbearing stage of life and thus don't mind a bit of cyclotetrasiloxane, Juntos is pretty damn good. It does have Vit. E, however, so if you have a problem with topical use of that be aware.
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