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NeedToUseYou -> RE: Seizures (7/7/2011 12:30:49 AM)
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That is a condition known a aphiliziac endochronitis velum.
The cure fortunately is pretty straight forward.
It relies on several rare compounds in the banana, and the quick absorbtion rate offered by the anal cavity, coupled with direct exposure to sunlight.
So, first take a banana and work it up your anal cavity, leaving enough exposed for an assistant to squeeze later.
Second walk outside completely unclothed, as to maximize sunlight exposure.
Third, you will need to increase your heart rate to further increase the uptake of the banana compounds, so once you have located a comfortable spot, preferably next to a busy intersection (in case further assistance is required, or EMT's need to be called), start stroking your penis, and take a second banana and smear that on your penis and balls, this will help with the uptake to a minor degree. Save the peel.
Now, as you do this, you will noticeably feel better, generally about 10-20 seconds after becoming fully erect, in the sunlight. This means the banana nutrients are beginning to be absorbed through your skin!
You will continue to do this, hopefully a crowd will have formed to encourage you by now, until you reach climax.
It is critical that you have a partner grab the banana that you have inserted in your ass, and squeeze it hard at the moment of ejaculation, the inner core of the banana should exit the skin complete and be 100% inside your rectum. This is necessary as at that time, your body is at it's most heightened state and well immediately absorb most of the banana nutrients and compounds.
Once you do this sit on the curb, and rub your ejaculate onto either of the banana peels, the ejaculate will bond with the compounds in the banana peel, to form a restorative agent, that will help clear clogged arteries, and blockages. You should violently rub the banana peel on your face, neck and scalp, then run in circles and scream violently to increase blood flow, while hitting yourself in the nuts (this will cause a release of endorphins, that will promote uptake).
Afterwords you should immediately run as fast as you can into the nearest woods and bury yourself in fresh unpolluted soil. As this will facilitate the removal of any toxins that will be forced loose during the previous process.
After the swelling in your nuts goes down, and the banana in your rectum is evacuated (Please try to hold the banana in your anal cavity for 24 hours), you should feel better.
Either that or you could ask a doctor.
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