RE: How do you avoid the roles switching?

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RE: How do you avoid the roles switching? - 7/4/2011 1:30:12 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
An additional note... consideration does not equate to submission.

...that single thing is the largest reason why I no longer am interested in any of the BDSM dominant roles. As a community, there is just too much selfishness attached to those roles... get to do nice things... because I love her.

Fine for you and yours, but absolutely not for my dynamic. i see no "selfishness" in the dominant or submissive "roles" many adopt, as there's good reason for it -- it's what each desires. It is not "selfish" to give (or allow) the other what they want and desire, be it dominance or submission. The stupidity arises when certain things (like caring, consideration, doing "nice things" for each other, and so forth) are foolishly attributed to such "roles" -- nothing more.

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RE: How do you avoid the roles switching? - 7/4/2011 2:16:06 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
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quote:

Otherwise, we live the roles that we are.
Get it right. Get it straight. Get it now.
My BDSM is not what we do. It's who we be.

edited to fix quote problem

< Message edited by whiteslavebitch -- 7/4/2011 2:18:24 PM >

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RE: How do you avoid the roles switching? - 7/4/2011 3:56:06 PM

DecadentDesire

Posts: 234
Joined: 6/18/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
An additional note... consideration does not equate to submission.

...that single thing is the largest reason why I no longer am interested in any of the BDSM dominant roles. As a community, there is just too much selfishness attached to those roles... get to do nice things... because I love her.

Fine for you and yours, but absolutely not for my dynamic. i see no "selfishness" in the dominant or submissive "roles" many adopt, as there's good reason for it -- it's what each desires. It is not "selfish" to give (or allow) the other what they want and desire, be it dominance or submission. The stupidity arises when certain things (like caring, consideration, doing "nice things" for each other, and so forth) are foolishly attributed to such "roles" -- nothing more.

I agree. The so called "BDSM Dominant Roles" are really nothing more than stereotypes created by people projecting what they envision a dominant to be. Even I fell sway to the notion in the beginning and found myself attempting to conform myself to some ideal of what a dominant should be.

Eventually, at some point, I became aware of the weird paradox I had falleninto and the blatant contradiction I had become. After all, if I was "dominant", then why was I wasting time considering whether or not my actions were "really dominant" or even give a single thought to whether or not they meshed with some BDSM article about what a dominant is?

Now that I have escaped that mental trap, I feel a lot more liberated. My relationships are structured how I want. And if what I want is to bring my girl breakfast in bed, then she better get ready for some dominance in the form of over-easy eggs and jellied toast.

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RE: How do you avoid the roles switching? - 7/4/2011 4:54:10 PM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

I have been thinking what do you do when outside and un for seeable forces beyond your control change your whole D/S dynamic? Like what about when the sub gets sick and needs to be taken care of though this is clearly a temporary situation with a obvious answer so lets move on to a more dramatic life changing event like job loss. Say that you lost your job and start having to stay around the house and the sub starts being the main provider of the house and starts making the financial decisions and as things progress makes the oh so innocent suggestion "Um Mistress/Master I know that your working hard on finding a job but while I am gone would could you sweep and dust." Next thing you know one thing leads to another "innocent suggestion" like asking for foot rubs after a long days at work and slowly without realizing it you have both switched.

I am curious Sam. Is the above written as a genuine reflection of where your head is at or is it just some trivial bullshit dreamt up to create another 'what if' thread?

The reason I ask.....anyone that actually lives, or has lived, a power exchange dynamic would not be asking these questions.

Exactly.

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