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DecadentDesire -> RE: How do you avoid the roles switching? (7/4/2011 3:56:06 PM)
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ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
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ORIGINAL: leadership527
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ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
An additional note... consideration does not equate to submission.
...that single thing is the largest reason why I no longer am interested in any of the BDSM dominant roles. As a community, there is just too much selfishness attached to those roles... get to do nice things... because I love her.
Fine for you and yours, but absolutely not for my dynamic. i see no "selfishness" in the dominant or submissive "roles" many adopt, as there's good reason for it -- it's what each desires. It is not "selfish" to give (or allow) the other what they want and desire, be it dominance or submission. The stupidity arises when certain things (like caring, consideration, doing "nice things" for each other, and so forth) are foolishly attributed to such "roles" -- nothing more.
I agree. The so called "BDSM Dominant Roles" are really nothing more than stereotypes created by people projecting what they envision a dominant to be. Even I fell sway to the notion in the beginning and found myself attempting to conform myself to some ideal of what a dominant should be.
Eventually, at some point, I became aware of the weird paradox I had falleninto and the blatant contradiction I had become. After all, if I was "dominant", then why was I wasting time considering whether or not my actions were "really dominant" or even give a single thought to whether or not they meshed with some BDSM article about what a dominant is?
Now that I have escaped that mental trap, I feel a lot more liberated. My relationships are structured how I want. And if what I want is to bring my girl breakfast in bed, then she better get ready for some dominance in the form of over-easy eggs and jellied toast.
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