RE: In Training How Much Responsibility Does a Dom have Towards Sub?

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RE: In Training How Much Responsibility Does a Dom have... - 6/30/2011 7:50:21 AM

xssve

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I would think so, but it depends on who you ask.

And it might cut a bit both ways, both of you are exploring headspaces outside hypothecial normative behavior, and presumably, that's going to result in some requirement to "shift gears" in order to reintegrate with the common culture and it's expectations - she can't go around falling on her knees giving blowjobs every time she get's "that look", he can't go around flogging women every time they get "willful", or whatever it is, you both have to be able to compartmentalize.

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RE: In Training How Much Responsibility Does a Dom have... - 6/30/2011 7:54:10 AM

DesFIP

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Since I have no idea what a training only relationship is except NSA beat and fuck, I'll agree with the others.

You decide for yourself what you need from a partner and then find someone compatible.
I would expect for myself, that even a fuck buddy would be decent enough to come and help if my car broke down. If yours won't, then it's your fault for picking a selfish git. Pick a better human being next time.

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RE: In Training How Much Responsibility Does a Dom have... - 6/30/2011 8:11:03 AM

xssve

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True.

I get messaged occasionally from subs who hits me with the full protocol, throws me a bit, I'm not really used to it, but the women in here complain all time about being messaged by men with boundary issues, from both sides, i..e, doing their full on dom thing in the first message, or conversely, acting like you already collared them through mental osmosis or something.

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RE: In Training How Much Responsibility Does a Dom have... - 6/30/2011 8:13:56 AM

LillyBoPeep

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

He has as much responsibility as he has authority. He is responsible for all the outcomes of any command which he gave and you obeyed. Yes, that includes emotional outcomes. In my world, you don't agree to give him responsibility, you agree to give him authority and the responsibility comes along for the ride.

nicely said, as usual. ^_^

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RE: In Training How Much Responsibility Does a Dom have... - 6/30/2011 11:54:02 AM

ThundersCry

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

regardless of the length, I feel that BOTH are equally responsible.. to make sure that the well-being of each person is preserved, and that communication is open and is given it's proper attention.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rightoooooo...

If your not paying attention as a sub you may regret it later for a period of time when you leave that relationship and go into <i>transition mode...

THERE are people who really don`t...care and will take full advantage of you...just sayin`...

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RE: In Training How Much Responsibility Does a Dom have... - 6/30/2011 1:59:36 PM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

He has as much responsibility as he has authority. He is responsible for all the outcomes of any command which he gave and you obeyed. Yes, that includes emotional outcomes. In my world, you don't agree to give him responsibility, you agree to give him authority and the responsibility comes along for the ride.

I think this about nails it.

But, yes I also think that SpiritedRadiance has a good point too.

In agreeing to give someone authority, you should be doing so because you trust them to exercise that authority responsibly - if you casually allow any old chap to take that authority then he might be responsible for the outcome, but you need to accept your share of the blame for it.

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RE: In Training How Much Responsibility Does a Dom have... - 6/30/2011 2:04:57 PM

GreedyTop

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*smooches TC*

and dammit, I will NOT go over the edge!!

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RE: In Training How Much Responsibility Does a Dom have... - 6/30/2011 11:45:47 PM

Acer49

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gorgeoushair

Question: During the time one, as a sub, is in training, either because that is the way the relationship has been established (W/we are going to have a D/s "training" relationship only), or it's on the way to being permanent someday, how much responsibility does the Dom have towards the sub's well-being, especially emotionally? I would think that if a Dom takes on a sub for training, He has the same responsiblities a permanent Dom would have, but I am interested in hearing from others.

Thank you.

ps. if this post shows a vanilla symbol; i have no control over it....lol.

Men and women are responsible for their own mental / emotional health. Anyone who does not have their ducks in a row when it comes to this has no business even contemplating entering a relationship, much less one with the complexities associated with the lifestyle

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RE: In Training How Much Responsibility Does a Dom have... - 7/1/2011 10:42:58 AM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49
Men and women are responsible for their own mental / emotional health. Anyone who does not have their ducks in a row when it comes to this has no business even contemplating entering a relationship, much less one with the complexities associated with the lifestyle

ROFL. It is always just so terribly funny to me when folks tell me that my 16 year long marriage is doomed to failure. Out of curiosity, when is that going to occur, year 17 or later I assume?

Carol and I do not agree with the model that says we are ultimately responsible for ourselves. We both see our partner has bearing ultimate responsibility. That is a "burden" you could not pry out of our hands. Ask me in another 40 or so years if the trust was misplaced.

It's also worth noting that from a TPE perspective I also very much don't agree with the statement that Carol is ultimately responsible for herself. Were that true, then she'd also ultimately be in charge of herself. I don't want that. That's not TPE to me. That might be how it was before her surrender but not after.

NOTE TO OP: I do not advocate levels of trust that are appropriate in a long-term marriage for short-term relationships. I would not accept the level of responsibility I have with Carol in a casual relationship.... or really any other relationship right now.

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