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behindmirrors -> RE: Tests? (12/3/2006 5:55:58 PM)
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To have my submission to my Dom tested would seem unnecessary to me. I suppose it's because that's like trying to quantify a part of my self- it is there, and it is what it is. To be tested in my devotion in a meaningless way just to "prove" something would cause harm, should I to ever know it had happened. I would be disappointed, both in myself and him. In other ways, though, my Dom does test me. He will skillfully engineer situations in order to make me realize something about myself, conquer my fears or anxieties about something, and through this, he contributes to my strength as a person as well. He knows I will not come to harm through it, and we discuss it afterwards- usually when I have realized that I am more empowered than I previously thought. In this, it is not a test of my submission to him- especially as some of the situations have used my submissive nature in order to work as he planned so that I get the experience he felt I needed. It is much more a test for me as a person to figure out something I needed to know- and I am grateful for that. It is showing me, though my own actions, what I am really made of. Just some thoughts- behindmirrors.
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