RE: How did I become to be this way?! (Submissive)

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RE: How did I become to be this way?! (Submissive) - 6/18/2011 8:08:49 PM

StrongSpirit

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This looks fairly typical to me. You grew up in a strict house, so you want a strict house. You were taught that sex was forbidden, but like all sane human beings you want it. You dealt with this by wishing someone would FORCE you to do what you so desperately wanted to do. That way you can stay a good girl. Your parents made all sex forbidden, so of course you wanted forbidden sex.

I am always surprised that more people are not into BDSM, to some degree. There sure were a lot of 'strict' parents.

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RE: How did I become to be this way?! (Submissive) - 6/18/2011 8:15:28 PM

sexyred1

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I had a totally normal, loving, supportive family growing up. Nothing weird happened, they loved me unconditionally and told me I was great.

They instilled good values and character, manners and love of knowledge.

Why did I become submissive? Let's see, because once I hit puberty and finally connected the dots on all those fantasies I had of being dominated since I was a little girl it all finally made sense.

So for me, it was a sexual awakening.

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RE: How did I become to be this way?! (Submissive) - 6/18/2011 8:41:14 PM

HisPet21

Posts: 395
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It's the whole nature vs. nurture debate...but if I had to pick a side, I'd say that sub and dom personality types are primarily hard wired. Like most others here, I was having fantasies of submission before I had ever heard of the dom/sub dynamic, or even really hit puberty. It took me a WHILE to connect all the dots.

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RE: How did I become to be this way?! (Submissive) - 6/18/2011 8:54:57 PM

SlaveOwner9

Posts: 50
Joined: 4/27/2010
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How can you miss something that interesting!?

And relax, there's nothing wrong with us... I wonder what's wrong with the rest of the world!!!

From the age of 13 all I could think of was mercilessly fucking the living shit out of a girl I so desparately wanted to tie up on my bed!!!!!

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RE: How did I become to be this way?! (Submissive) - 6/18/2011 9:37:39 PM

Asherscorp1

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I was adopted when I was three and raised as an only child in a strictly religious home. I remember being 5 or 6 and when my friends would come over I'd only play house if I could be the dog. I wanted to be collared, walked on a leash, put in a kennel etc and I always wanted whoever was my "master" to be very harsh with me; giving me commands and punishing me (didn't matter how, even just yelling) when I didn't do them right. To me this is almost ultimate submission since you give up not only freedom but your humanity. Of course I didn't see it that way as a child but I was very submissive from as early as I can remember. My biological mother and my younger sister are both this way too, I don't know what that means either but I do believe it is absolutely hard-wired in some of us.

_____________________________

"The path to slavery is so narrow that two cannot walk upon it at the same time, hence why the slave must crawl behind." -- Unknown

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RE: How did I become to be this way?! (Submissive) - 6/19/2011 9:48:03 AM

Sunny27

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I became interested when a friend of mine asked me to a fetish party! I hadn't a clue what it was all about so my guy friend told me and when I asked where to get clothes for it, my ex sat down beside me and told me all the different places I could go! Now myself and my ex had never even spoken about Bdsm before!When my guy friend told me that he had been into it since three years ago february! I was completly amazed as thats when we started dating!I met my new b.f. at my first nimhneach!!Everything about Bdsm I've been taught from my Master! I was 25 years old when I learnt of Bdsm!

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RE: How did I become to be this way?! (Submissive) - 6/19/2011 6:54:10 PM

rawtape

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I was 12, so was she. With hindsight, it's easy to see that we weren't in love, just physically attracted to one another. Sex though, was out of the question -- she was the ____'s daughter, and she was always accompanied by her twin brother. Our games were basically rough-housing, playing our own more violent version of cops-and-robbers in the dark. I recall grabbing her (the robber), wrestling her to the ground, feeling her nipples through her thin T-shirt, twisting them viciously and asking "Does it hurt?"

"Yes," she said, "but I like it." And I realized I did too.

I suppose that was my first inkling that I wasn't quite vanilla... though I didn't really realize it until later. Unlike S/M, the D/S aspects of my personality had no such clear cut revelatory moments. I was the only child of the eldest son of the eldest son ad nauseam, growing up in a culture which was then quite class-conscious and hierarchical. Certain attitudes and behaviour were expected of me, and I appear to have taken to them like a duck to water.

It was only later, with hindsight, that I realized how fortunate I was in having my wiring match those cultural expectations. I have close friends, peers, who I figured out much later were potential subs -- being put in positions of authority made their lives a living hell. In an odd way that's just another facet of what LordOdhinn mentioned: growing "up in a world where being dom or sub meant for many of us that we felt very isolated and strange for being true to our natures." Or not being true to our natures and suffering because of that.

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RE: How did I become to be this way?! (Submissive) - 6/19/2011 8:52:55 PM

DecadentDesire

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I spent more than a few hours pondering the "why" question. In fact, at one point, I would say it almost an obsession. Finally, one day after having no real certain answer about the "why", I asked myself "If I could answer the "why" question, would it really change anything?". The answer to that was "no". At that point, asking the question of "why" began almost as arbitrary as asking "Why am I straight?". I answer both questions the same now with a "I just am".

Life got much simpler after that.

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I was once a Rabbit, driven Mad, by the Decadence of his Desires...

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RE: How did I become to be this way?! (Submissive) - 6/20/2011 6:12:52 AM

Muttling

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This is a twist on an on gay-straight set of questions, but it seemed fitting for vanilla - kinky.

What if we took the questions asked of kinksters and turned it around to vanillas........

1. What caused me to be vanilla?

2. When and how did I first decide I was vanilla?

3. Is it possible my obsession with vanilla is just a phase and I'll grow out of it?

4. If I never try kinky sex and welts, how can I be sure that I wouldn’t prefer that?

5. How would someone react if I confessed to them that I was interested in plain vanilla sex?

6. Shouldn't I just try to not be a vanilla?

7. hmmm......Therapy might help me change. After all, I never deliberately chose to be a vanilla.

< Message edited by Muttling -- 6/20/2011 6:15:57 AM >

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RE: How did I become to be this way?! (Submissive) - 6/20/2011 6:20:20 AM

xssve

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LoveSparkie

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Find this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Some-Women-Laura-Antoniou/dp/1563335735

There is a piece about all the BDSM in the Christian Bible. It will explain everything.

Whoa..wait..theres something about BDSM in the Bible?! Apparently I missed that chapter.

Google "Taken in Hand" - there's a whole Christian BDSM movement - check it out.

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RE: How did I become to be this way?! (Submissive) - 6/20/2011 6:32:07 AM

erieangel

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For me it is the opposite. A need for structure is exactly what has made me a submissive i think.

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RE: How did I become to be this way?! (Submissive) - 6/20/2011 10:00:32 AM

Julez

Posts: 10
Joined: 6/19/2011
From: Norfolk, UK
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I have never really considered why I am the way I am. When I was a kid, I didn't have the 'usual' notions of romantic love. I used to fantasize about being tied and spanked. When older I would fantasize about a strong man 'taking' me. Never grew out of the whole spanking thing though, or the love of being tied up.
At work, I am 'the boss' to a bunch of admin and secretarial staff, at home I want to be dominated. Its not something I've thought through, it just is something I am. I don't over analyse it at all, and I don't worry about it either. Its just something about me, like hair colour or my irreverant sense of humour.

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