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RE: holding hands - 6/20/2011 7:57:34 AM

ranja

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Joined: 11/1/2007
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Thanks everybody

It might be height, when the height difference is big, but we're almost the same, He is only a fraction taller than me and on heels i am taller, our handhold does not change when i am taller.

Also when i dance there is definitely a *leaders* way to hold and a lot is told by how a person holds another's hand... or wrist
i love it when a good male lead puts his hand on my wrist and throws it - so i spin.
Obviously when i dance the male lead it is me with my hand over the ladies wrist.
It does not matter at all who is the tallest, what matters is the position regarding each other.

Hence with my hand in His it is easier if i am slightly behind, if my hold would be over the top of His, then He would have to be a step behind... and i think right there is exactly what His objection is...
That i might still pull Him to wards something with my hand in His is always topping from the bottom so to speak... never really leading or actually setting the pace.

< Message edited by ranja -- 6/20/2011 8:05:15 AM >

(in reply to Kana)

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Post #: 21

RE: holding hands - 6/20/2011 5:01:48 PM

uncertainlyizzy

Posts: 42
Joined: 4/11/2011
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We don't really hold hands. We hook fingers? I don't know how to describe it other than that. It's a fingers curled together really loose hold. So it's fluid depending on how we're standing. Usually when we walk mine are on the back/bottom but that's because he walks with a purpose and I mosey along so am constantly a step or so behind.

(in reply to Kana)

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RE: holding hands - 6/20/2011 8:07:30 PM

scarletsubbie

Posts: 31
Joined: 10/27/2010
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on mechanics: I'm 5-2. I can't take knuckle on knuckle pressure.
I'm comparing
my former spouse, dominating personality, some topping. 6 ft tall.
a lover, post husband, I suspect we were a pair of subs, although he could pull out bits o dom. My height, exactly. Still friends and we hold hands.
another lover, naturally toppish personality, I often worked with him as equals, but he was the boss knowledge wise. Probably 5-10.
current Guy: 5-8, equal in relationship, exploring a dom side as I explore my sub side more deeply.

So: equal heights-- one of us will offer a hand most of the time. driver hand usually is on bottom. That's mechanics. walking, his had on top. both of us used cradling gestures with each other.

5-8 current guy. hand typically on top. I often initiate by slipping up under his hand. His gestures are often protective. Mine are cradling/supportive.

5-10 former lover: he was in charge, but reticent, so slipping under got me most of the contact. (we were trying to be subtle at work.)

6 foot ex spouse: was all over the place. lots of possessive in a good way gestures. often domineered my hand with full holds, topping.

(in reply to uncertainlyizzy)

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Post #: 23

RE: holding hands - 6/22/2011 6:45:20 AM

ranja

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thanks for your answers
the other day i heard a bit of banter on the radio about driving and what side of the bed you sleep on... apparently the main driver of the couple also usually sleeps on the *drivers side* of the bed... which is true in our case too

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RE: holding hands - 6/23/2011 6:22:04 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

As i walked with my Husband the other day i noticed the way we hold hands.
my hand is in His, His arm goes over the top... and it feels more comfortable if i am a slight step behind.
i asked Him to let me have the *lead* so to speak and we changed our hand hold... He was extremely uncomfortable with it and quickly changed it back.

The next day i noticed i hold my child's hand exactly the same way as my Husbands holds mine... it seems to have to do with leading and being in charge.

If you walk hand in hand with your partner, how is your hand hold and does it matter who is in charge?

Doesn't matter...and I LOOOOOOVE your post!

(in reply to ranja)

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Post #: 25

RE: holding hands - 7/4/2011 11:35:30 AM

foxling

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

...exactly the same way as my Husbands holds mine... it seems to have to do with leading and being in charge.

Try this one... walking with his hand (i.e., palm) on top of your wrist -- thus, leading you by holding your wrist instead of your hand. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEALS!!!

the best thing. *swoon*

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Post #: 26

RE: holding hands - 7/6/2011 2:50:16 AM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
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he manages to hold mine tight usually one of my fingers locked between his and if he can touching my inner wrist i have no idea how he manages it but it feels good. or he will hold my wirst so tight especially when goign to sleep i cant move my armeven fall asleep so easily like this

(in reply to Kana)

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RE: holding hands - 7/6/2011 6:07:14 AM

LadyConstanze

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I couldn't tell you, never paid attention to how we do it, just looked at my hand for a while and tried to figure it out... Which ever way feels comfy I guess, as I am a bit shorter than he is... Usually I got 2 dogs and he carries the shopping bags...

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RE: holding hands - 7/6/2011 2:47:56 PM

tsuta

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I like to hold hand with mine on the bottom also.. it feels uncomfortable the other way. Also i like to hook the pinkies together ^.^ (while fully holding hand, not just a pinkie hook..)

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

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RE: holding hands - 7/6/2011 2:49:30 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja
If you walk hand in hand with your partner, how is your hand hold and does it matter who is in charge?

I hold hands the same way because everyone I hold hands with is shorter than I am. It's simply a height thing. Don't read more into it.

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