agirl
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Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
okay well then apply the question this way -- would you ever consider topping someone else? (wherein you're actually thinking of it as topping, like being mostly in charge of a scene, planning something specific or having some general idea of what you want to accomplish, picking what toys to use, etc etc) would you if he told you to? like if he said "i want you to make up a scene with X person," or it's your own independent desire? it's speculative probably (i think i remember you saying that you guys don't play publicly or with other people, but i might be wrong)
in a committed relationship the words/definitions may not mean anything at all, while for others they do. (people who use definitions aren't less exploratory than others just because they use them, either.)
i'm just interested to know what people's different motivators are.
there are a lot of subs who are really good at topping, who have confidence issues preventing them from doing it, like foxling mentioned.
and there are some who just don't really want to, like me. haha i have no idea if i'm good at topping or not.
also, it can be about switching, but a lot of subs who top don't consider themselves switches at all, because their definition of that is more relationship-based.
no matter what we did in my last relationship, i never had any desire to take control or being the one with the roadmap, and he wasn't interested in anything that would've required any specific "service top mode" in my brain. that was just the way we worked together. some people do have service topping aspects to their relationships. some people have an independent desire to top and get that out via playing with others. other people may work in completely different ways in relation to each other, which is perfectly fine.
So what difference are you trying to draw here? I don't need to *think* of *topping* at all. All and everything happens already!.........and what difference would it make to M and my situation? I'm perfectly capable of having my own ideas, yee-hah moments, downright dirty sexy ones that involve his gorgeous body. So what would alter if it was someone else? We don't DO topping/bottoming....... neither of us. If someone else is involved, they are abiding by M's guidelines as I always am.
I'm not submissive, I'm not dominant.........I'm just a person who doesn't find any of it odd.
I already do all of that........I'm NEVER in control, not remotely ever with M. Wasn't it clear that M and I DO this stuff? Or do we not do it in a way that fits the topic?
You're correct that we don't splash about publically..........well, not in any bdsm community sense, no. Life itself manages to provide a varied and rather satisfactory group of open-minded people.
It's no bigger question than * would M bottom?*..... it's really not relevant to our life. Our motivation for anything is * what leaves us happy, content and satisfied to an agreeable extent*.
In answer to your direct question.......... I don't dismiss anything *out of hand*.
agirl
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