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Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 8:32:00 AM   
January


Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline 		Hi,

Can I get your opinions, please?

Do you think BDSM is a "lifestyle"? I tend to think of it as a way of interacting, rather than a way of living. But maybe folks in 24/7 might disagree? Maybe pros might disagree? Maybe you might disagree?

Thanks for your help!

January



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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 8:53:49 AM   
NocturnalStalker


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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 9:15:36 AM   
IrishMist


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Status: offline 		No, I do not, and have never seen BDSM as a 'lifestyle'

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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 9:19:06 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


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At the most basic definition, a lifestyle is the typical way of living for an individual, group or culture.  Refusing to drink, smoke or do drugs is a "straight edge lifestyle" and eating a balanced diet, avoiding saturated fats and refined sugars, and exercising regularly is a "healthy lifestyle."  So if someone incorporates some aspect of BDSM into his or her daily routine, then it definitely qualifies as a lifestyle. 
 
However, BDSM doesn't have to be a lifestyle.  It can be recreational if that's what works for the people involved.  It can also be a job, in the case of pros.  I don't necessarily think a pro who does BDSM for a living and then hangs up the flogger and goes home is living a BDSM lifestyle.  It depends on what happens once he or she does on his/her off time and whether or not s/he forgets about it when not actively engaged with a client. 

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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 9:47:29 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Sylvere just saved Me some typing.  I know various folks who call what they do the recovery lifestyle, the vegan lifestyle, the swinger's lifestyle, the cyclists lifestyle, the Christian lifestyle........

For some, it's an everyday thing.  Others, it's an underlying current.  Others still, it's something they do a time or two a month or whenever they get the chance.  Then, there's other folks who do the same activities that don't call it a lifestyle at all.  It all comes down to personal choice about the term.


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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 9:56:41 AM   
leadership527


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Status: offline 		I think it CAN be a "lifestyle". It just isn't for me.

To me it becomes a "lifestyle" when it substantially colors someone's life. If I look at someone and most of their friends are kinksters and most of their activities involve some sort of kinky gathering and their wardrobe has a lot of kink symbolism in it, etc. etc. then I think of them as in a kinky lifestyle. For me, it's just a thing that happens between Carol and I. Our "lifestyle" is "vanilla upper middle class". Our activities are mostly vanilla as are our sensibilities.

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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 10:21:18 AM   
SpyUnderCover


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Status: offline 		For me it is not a "lifestyle." It's just "this thing that I do," kind of like a sidebar to my life.

However it seems like most D/s folks that I encounter either identify themselves as being in "the lifestyle," or at least use the term in a general sense for those involved in BDSM.

Spy

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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 11:03:13 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
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being in the country with my animals is part of my lifestyle but bdsm isn't. it's something i think of like pudding, if i'm hungry and have a sweet tooth then i want it. if i'm satisfied with what i've had then i'm not fussed. but rather like being told i could never eat puddings again would be a loss, so would bdsm if i could never do it again. it's not like i'm going to waste away to nothing through not having it, but it's alot of choice and indulgence gone from life.

needles

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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 11:57:24 AM   
TheRaptorJesus


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Status: offline 		For 99% of people involved in it, it is not. 

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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 12:33:38 PM   
January


Posts: 891
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Status: offline 		Thank you! I really appreciate the responses!

January

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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 1:55:07 PM   
crazyml


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Status: offline 		I'm with the others. I think for some people is is a lifestyle - and fair play to them.

For me personally it's a part of my life, but definitely not my "lifestyle".



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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 2:24:10 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		i think of it as a lifestyle, and some are more immersed in it than others. if you've ever been friends with a bellydancer, bellydance becomes a lifestyle, too. =p i think we can be involved in multiple "lifestyles"  -- there's a different "style of living" say for married people than single people, for instance. or they can be factors of some really big multifacted lifestyle that we ALL live. it's a difficult question because everyone has a different way of defining "lifestyle." i kinda see where leadership is coming from -- if you like having kinky friends, and doing kinky things with those friends, it does become a bigger part of your overall lifestyle than if you're just like to mess around once in a while in the bedroom.

i think of myself as a lifestyle person because, now that i've got kinky friends, and have gone to kink events, i ENJOY that, and i enjoy the community. when i was with M, i didn't really think we were lifestyle because we didn't go to such things or have lots of kink friends, we just related to each other how we felt was correct for us. on the other hand, though, i did think of the power exchange itself as sort our "lifestyle" together, because that was the way we were building up our relationship, which was the foundation for "the future," blah blah blah...

there are all sorts of ways to think about it.


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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 2:50:30 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Sure, it CAN be a lifestyle. Just as clubbing can be, or anything else that's hugely important and dominates your life.

It's part of MY life; I wouldn't say we *live bdsm* .It's a thread that runs through everything, but it's hard for me to imagine it being some kind of lifestyle. I'm sure other people THINK it's our lifestyle.......but you can only educate people one at a time and bit by bit :)

agirl







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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 3:22:06 PM   
ResidentSadist


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Status: offline 		Sylvere said it quite accurately already.



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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 3:24:31 PM   
agirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Sylvere said it quite accurately already.




Yep.....but not with my accent...:)


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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 3:28:10 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Sylvere said it quite accurately already.




Yep.....but not with my accent...:)



I can repeat it with a British (BBC), Scottish (sort of), or Russian (Boris&Natasha) accent if you like. 

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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 3:31:14 PM   
NocturnalStalker


Posts: 3858
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Status: offline 		No French? 


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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 3:32:38 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Sylvere said it quite accurately already.




Yep.....but not with my accent...:)



I can repeat it with a British (BBC), Scottish (sort of), or Russian (Boris&Natasha) accent if you like. 


You're most obliging.. I hope my contribution wasn't superfluous:)...NICE accent, btw x



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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 3:32:55 PM   
FelineFae


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Status: offline 		Non pour vous.

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RE: Is BDSM a "Lifestyle" - 5/12/2011 3:33:56 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		My French accent is excellent...when I'm speaking French.  Same for Spanish.  However, speaking English with one of those accents is difficult for some reason.  However, if you're willing to submit and be my lifestyle BDSM toy, I'll practice more.  Sound fair?

< Message edited by SylvereApLeanan -- 5/12/2011 3:34:37 PM >

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