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I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 10:50:28 AM

Revenge93

Posts: 22
Joined: 10/1/2010
Status: offline

This is something strange and outside of my normal comfort zone, but apparently my sub/girl is turned on whenever I have a temper. If I get into arguments or have a bad day (I am an irritable person and had a violent history, to be honest), she gets turned on and wants me to "take it out on her" through yelling and verbal abuse. I am normally the calm sort of dom, and although I practice some verbal abuse, it still seems like I'm filtering my words, and I've never actually yelled at her. I also feel this could be interesting and bring a new level of intensity to sex, maybe even a release for me, but I need some advice on turning those filters off so that I can be open and have a good time with it. Any advice?

Post #: 1

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 10:53:50 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

Anger management counseling and a good lawyer. Because if you decide to go ahead and take it out on her, and it isn't as erotic as she thought it would be and busts you for assault & battery, you're in some deep doo-doo.

Yes, I know you said "verbal" abuse, but if you can't control it and start the physical.......

< Message edited by windchymes -- 4/20/2011 10:54:52 AM >

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Revenge93)

Post #: 2

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 10:54:05 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

go down into politics and religion and clip out some real gems.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Revenge93)

Post #: 3

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 10:58:13 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

Having a bad temper and "taking it out on" someone, as well as using violence as a way of exorcising those demons, is the antithesis of being a Dom.

If you have to ask this question, you are not ready.

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 4

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 11:02:32 AM

Revenge93

Posts: 22
Joined: 10/1/2010
Status: offline

It was in quotations, because those were her words, not mine. You should try not to make assumptions without understanding the initial question.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 5

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 11:14:02 AM

caelestis

Posts: 195
Joined: 9/6/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Revenge93

It was in quotations, because those were her words, not mine. You should try not to make assumptions without understanding the initial question.

All anyone can really do here is make assumptions based on what you tell people (since we are not present or aware of all the detail, or know the people involved well). If you're not happy with the assumptions people are making either A) You aren't wording your questions right to properly lay out the facts and situations or B) Get over it. You can't expect to come to a forum and have everyone totally agree with and understand what you say. Things don't work like that.

_____________________________

"We are a fountain of shimmering contradictions, most of us. Beautiful in the concept, if we're lucky, but frequently tedious or regrettable as we flesh ourselves out."
— Gregory Maguire

(in reply to Revenge93)

Post #: 6

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 11:18:22 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

i suppose it is the passion she sees in you that turns her on... that is how it works for me when i see my Husband in a temper... He looks sexy when He is worked up about something

(in reply to Revenge93)

Post #: 7

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 11:18:36 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Revenge93

It was in quotations, because those were her words, not mine. You should try not to make assumptions without understanding the initial question.

Learn to write what you fuckin mean, ya moron!!!

Example #1

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Revenge93)

Post #: 8

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 11:20:14 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Fuck you, you goddamn skank. If I need any goddamn lip outta you, I'll scrape it off my fuckin zipper.

Thus endeth the lesson.

HumiliatorImperator

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 4/20/2011 11:21:00 AM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 9

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 11:20:44 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Revenge93

It was in quotations, because those were her words, not mine. You should try not to make assumptions without understanding the initial question.

No dear, you had parentheses around the fact that you have a violent history.

So, yes, we made an assumption based on your honest assessment of your violent past.

Carry on.

(in reply to Revenge93)

Post #: 10

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 11:21:05 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I am so undomly cool. I just giggled.

Ohhh!!!! The edited version is even better!!!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 11

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 11:21:41 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

No one is making assumptions, so far you have been given some excellent advice. If your g/f wants you to get mad and take it out on her, and you are even considering that (which you must be, you came here looking for advice on "how to have a good time with it" despite admitting you "have a violent history") then you both have emotional issues that need to be addressed and a great deal of ignorance to overcome before you should even consider a D/s dynamic.

JMO

_____________________________

(in reply to Revenge93)

Post #: 12

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 11:25:08 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Fuck you, you goddamn skank. If I need any goddamn lip outta you, I'll scrape it off my fuckin zipper.

Thus endeth the lesson.

HumiliatorImperator

That was hot. You really should mentor the fire/EMT dude.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 13

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 11:28:40 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

That was hot. You really should mentor the fire/EMT dude.

The EMT dude is actually looking for Dommes (I know, he needs to work on his approach)

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 14

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 11:31:51 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

all he can do is fat old and diabetic. gotta have some class to be hawt at this. that shit is for amateurs.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 15

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 11:46:33 AM

Revenge93

Posts: 22
Joined: 10/1/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Revenge93

It was in quotations, because those were her words, not mine. You should try not to make assumptions without understanding the initial question.

No dear, you had parentheses around the fact that you have a violent history.

So, yes, we made an assumption based on your honest assessment of your violent past.

Carry on.

I have never been violent with a woman, and have been in D/s relationships for the past 6 years of my life, which is quite a bit considering that I'm still in my 20s. You are assuming something from one (admittedly) poorly explained sentence, while ignoring the question that was proposed, and once again suggesting that there is a strict set of criteria that one must conform to before even bothering to ask questions on an anonymous message board. I've seen this too much on here. The word history should even suggest that it is not a current problem.

I'm not looking for advice on how to harm someone. I'm asking tips on how to break through my own personal barrier of decency, to indulge in something that my partner finds appealing, verbal abuse, which is something that seems rather common. If you don't feel like addressing the question, and would rather spend your time on here judging whether or not other people should even be involved in a certain lifestyle, then there are probably others who would be glad to argue on the internet about it. I'm not going to waste anymore time than this, and would much rather see constructive advice or criticism rather than the opinionated and poorly informed garbage I've been seeing on here.

So, when someone who is obviously relatively new comes to this board to ask some questions, it would seem logical for the regulars to be receptive and constructive to allow newer people to work on healthy habits and relationships. The words you type aren't going to suddenly convince someone to abandon a fetish or lifestyle. It's easy to become overly judgmental and opinionated on the internet, but it's not a helpful mentality when people are looking for advice.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 16

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 12:08:36 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

A sense of humour is a glorious thing.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Revenge93)

Post #: 17

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 12:09:56 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I have never been violent with a woman, and have been in D/s relationships for the past 6 years of my life, which is quite a bit considering that I'm still in my 20s. You are assuming something from one (admittedly) poorly explained sentence, while ignoring the question that was proposed, and once again suggesting that there is a strict set of criteria that one must conform to before even bothering to ask questions on an anonymous message board.

Well, you mention a woman, and then violent history, without bothering to explain that the violence was not directed against women, so to me it's perfectly natural that people would combine the two and recommend you not go there, and now we are off on a tangent.

In order to be understood, you DO have to be really careful how you word things. If you are finding that people are always misunderstanding you, take the time to carefully write your posts.

This is a message board, you're going to get answers you love, like, hate, think are crazy. You may wish to check out the booklist: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm and go to some local events.

(in reply to Revenge93)

Post #: 18

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 12:10:59 PM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

To the OP here. if you want ideas for abuse, go to the "this thread is LOL" thread.

The OP there is catching a LOT of it. Maybe you can glean some good ideas.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 19

RE: I need tips on verbal abuse as a dom. - 4/20/2011 12:28:14 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

Ask the EMT blokey, he seems to love humiliation too and has been doing it to himself on the aformentioned thread..

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 20

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