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curdom -> RE: not sure if I'm in the right place... (4/15/2011 7:53:31 AM)
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So thanks for all the replies. I've had a look around the site and I'm sure I am in the right place!
It seems that there are a fair few women out there who want to be "taken control of", if that's the right terminology. I suppose feeling guilty about wanting to do that stems from a couple of things if I really think about it. The first is that I'd feel really bad doing things which, albeit consensual, seem kinda degrading to me. Like I think back to that one relationship I had with a girl who sort of allowed me to do things, where I suppose I treated her "roughly". Without being too graphic (!) a lot of what I seem to like involved her underwear around her neck and in her mouth, and also spitting. I think about it a lot...I suppose a bit like when you really want a cup of coffee...!
Anyway, like I say I felt like I was degrading her by giving into these feelings- even though she willingly participated. I was brought up to respect women and all that and I feel guilty treating a woman that way. Very conflicted!
The second reason I suppose is more internal and I feel that somehow I should be satisfied by a more "vanilla" relationship. After all, most of the country seems to walk around quite happy doing normal things with their spouses...so why shouldn't I? And then I feel like there's something wrong with me!
I am also confused and wary about bringing this topic up. Like if I met somebody...how do you just say "I'd like to...have you wear whatever....and lock you up for 2 days with your pants in your mouth...and then do whatever to you"!! I know that sounds ridiculous but I'd worry about scaring somebody off, so I'd just bottle it up again like I always have! And they always find out there's something amiss eventually and then blame themselves- think they're not enough etc, and then I feel more guilty. Annoying I know, thanks for reading.
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