LillyBoPeep
Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Lockit
There can be a lot of truth to me, in living an oxymoron type of life.
what a lovely sentiment
there are some really interesting themes scattered around FT's anecdotes. the first one, well the mention of the girl normally running away from the rain reminds me of that old-school image in looney tunes cartoons with the "lady of the house" who wears dainty shoes and jump up on a chair when a mouse runs by. it's different than a woman being who she is in the moment and settling into her feminine sexuality, as "trollop #1" does.
i think when most people think "feminine," they think of the lady jumping on chairs to get away from mice, and generally being a soft, wimpy pushover who can't do anything for herself. i don't think that's what femininity is really about, though.
the world can still be a pretty harsh place for a person who doesn't want to tackle everything aggressively. it's almost to the point (well, at least in my somewhat cynical view) where aggression and bitchiness are just the most sought after things. i think when people deal with a lot of the negativity in the world, it's hard for them to think about facing it without that particular kind of armor on.
anyway... for me, i don't really believe in one limited view of femininity, but i also do believe there is such a thing... that energy is different form masculine energy and it can be expressed in a variety of ways, but it IS different. i grew up pretty tomboyish, basically feeling BAD for being a girl and wanting to do "girly" things. it was like none of that stuff was worthwhile, only the things men did/thought/wanted were worthwhile. i eventually came to really resent feminine things, even though, deep down, i knew i was denying something that was really important to me.
i think that's something that belly dance kind of helped me come to terms with. that, and the experience of my last relationship really helped put a lot of things into perspective in regards to being authentically me, and not feeling bad about any of it. i grew up associating feminine with weak or with "secondary"(that kind of stuff is always a source of cognitive dissonance, when you're being force-fed one ideology, but live with/experience examples to the contrary), but as i got older, i started to understand that there really is a lot of power in it, and accepting it in myself was not a bad thing at all, but a really COMFORTABLE thing.
i mentioned in a c-mail about how sometimes when you start talking about things like gracefulness, it quickly devolves into a bra-burning party. but i think things like gracefulness are still worthwhile to talk about -- and not even in a physical sense. i've known some pretty clutzy yet still very feminine women; it's more their mental presence than what they look like or what they're wearing. and no, i'm not talking about holding your tongue, or not having an opinion. it's a "something" that's hard to pinpoint.
anyway, i really like this statement --
quote:
She said, I have this power over you that makes me powerless to you. I said, kinda an oxymoron isn’t it? She said, nope…
_____________________________
Midwestern Girl
"Obey your Master." Metallica
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