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peppermint -> RE: Looking for a few suggestions (2/24/2011 4:34:47 PM)
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You have not been forgotten.
Please bear with me while I explain this to you. My late husband always mourned for what once was, but was no long possible. For example, Midway Island was a magical place when I moved out there to be with him. However, word was out that the island would be closing to military dependents. Many of the former activities on the island stopped happening. Rather than enjoy the many things to offer on the island the husband sat at home on his days off. He never took us to Sand Island. He never wanted to go to the beach. He just mourned for what he could not have rather than enjoy what he did have.
At the age of 39 he had a major heart attack. He continued handling disappointments in his own way. Until the day he died he lived a depressed man because he couldn't do the things he used to do. He cut off all his friends. Even the birth of his first grandson did not bring him out of his low. He lived for 13 years, miserable and wanting to make those around him equally as miserable, all because he felt he'd been cheated of the life he wanted and should have had. He died alone and unloved, even while surrounded by those who wanted to care, but who could no longer love him.
Fast forward to the present. Gary and I just celebrated our 5 year anniversary of being together as well as his 70th birthday and my 60th. He spent 7 weeks in the hospital in the past year, 3 of them in ICU. Ten years ago he was the recipient of extra time and he is amazing. He was given the gift of life with a lung transplant. He loves what he can do. He never worries about those things he can not do any longer. He is happy. He is an optimist even with his lung problems, his heart problems, as well as a new one called diabetes. As for me, well, I have lung problems in the form of COPD. There are days when I can't do what I would like to do. I have days when I feel pretty spiffy.
We live a full life. It doesn't matter that when we go visit national parks we do it mostly from the car instead of hiking. There is beauty to been seen from a car. When we golf we use a cart to get around. On days when we are both breathing challenged we enjoy quiet time while being companionable at home. Sure we'd enjoy more play time but there have been times when picking up a flogger, standing to use it, and then actually using it would have been way too difficult. It doesn't matter to me that the pain play we do might be a nipple twist instead of a whip. The important thing is that we do what we can, when we can. Life is way too short to think about anything negative at all.
So, what I'm trying to say in my own roundabout fashion is this. Finding an alternative to your heavy play is really not important and I have no magic bullet to offer to you. What is most important is your attitude and your mindset. Here is a quote that Gary taught me. We try to live each day remembering the optimism of the quote.
Quote from Edgar Guest:
Somebodys said that it couldn't be done, But he with a chuckle replied That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one Who wouldn't say so till he'd tried. So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin On his face. If he worried he hid it. He started to sing as he tackled the thing That couldn't be done, and he did it.
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