RE: Re-homing

RE: Re-homing (Full Version)

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CaringandReal -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 4:17:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx It would be like losing the boundaries of oneself. Yep. Although it turned out not to be accurate, for years after it happened, I saw/experienced myself as a severed hand jerking spasmodically and spurting blood onto the ground. It felt as though I was slowly dying from being severed from its body that gave it life, but not really realizing I was dead yet. quote: It's an interesting concept that Masters become interchangeable I know. But the condition of being owned, in my experience, is closer to that of let's say an arranged marriage (read this as arranged relationship) than any other I can think of. I suspect that having such an arrangment made would not necessarily involve the same depth of love/devotion/acceptance but these are feelings that grow within the bond. [/font][/size] Great description. That's what these relationships have always felt like to me. What I've experienced is that the connection is initially made due to a strong compatibility in control interests and initially it's quite practical in tone. Only later do other aspects and emotions come into play. I think this happens, at least for me, due to the rarity of such a fit.

BiDomLooking -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 4:53:50 PM)
On this subject I can say from a Dom's view that I care deeply for my sub and if I was older and in ill health I would prepare a will for her that would provide all means of support, however I can not say for sure I would "re-home" her unless we had a close friend that her and I both were confy with and that Dom was in agreeing with us for her best interest if it was beneficial for her not to move on by her self more so then for her to try to live on her own. I guess it depends on the person and the circumstances. I can see where it would work for some and not for others. lifestyle relationships are unique and each one different so its hard to say ya or nay.

DesFIP -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 5:07:21 PM)
Life insurance with her as the beneficiary might have been the better way to go IMO. We consent to enter into power relationships. Therefore we cannot be entered into a different relationship without our consent. The owner may mean well but he would do better to make sure she is financially and otherwise prepared to go on alone. Which means also having strong family ties and other social support.

porcelaine -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 5:29:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cherryunicorn I was reading some of the other message boards on other sites and the topic of "re-homing your slave" came up. It seemed to be defined as having a stand-by dominant in place for a slave if/when the dominant passes away, the new dominant steps in and owns the slave. Greetings cherryunicorn, While I'm not fond of the verbiage you've selected, the premise behind the question posed isn't a foreign concept. I met someone several years ago that found themselves in a similar situation. However, the dominant was prudent and very proactive given his state of health. He made provisions for his slave and had a responsible party on board that agreed to take her under hand when he passed away. As one might expect the transition had its challenges and she had a lot of emotional baggage to sift through. Nonetheless, she came away much stronger and better off in the long run due to the secondary party's influence. I don't believe her experience is commonplace and sincerely believe she was fortunate to encounter two extraordinary men that put their collective interest in her care at the forefront. Namaste, ~porcelaine

SexyBossyBBW -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 8:03:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaxsGirl I see "rehoming" as the OP describes as being more based in the kind of fantasy M/s that some people live online, where slaves are actually property that can be bought and sold, and are entirely dependent on their ultra domly owners for "protection" and the like. I could be wrong, but that's what the OP brings to mind. I've seen people who aren't even in "so called M/s relationships," where there is excessive dependence of one partner, on the other for direction and functioning. I would imagine the old romantic songs, were made, based to some extent, on real life. "I can't live without you." "I'd die without you." There is actual medical consideration, of a frequently seen phenomenon, broken heart (chest pain/cardiac arrest because of emotional loss). I'm definetely not into BDSM porn (much), but find it believable that if a Master and slave lived their lives a certain way, in time the slave's mind would be affected, and it might take a significant amount of time, and retraining, before he/she would feel strong and capable again, should said slave lose the Master. quote: I'd be pretty lost without Alpha. If something happened to end our relationship, I'm sure I'd flounder a bit. But in the end, I'm an adult with a functioning brain and strong survival instinct, and I'd be able to pull myself up and move on if need be. If you yourself, an adult with strong survival instincts, can admit to floundering (if God forbid...), why would it be unfathomable, that a slave, who for some reason, lost his Master, might feel lost for more than a little while, without counseling/assistance? M I'm definetely not into BDSM porn (much[8D]), but find it believable that if a Master and slave lived their lives a certain way, in time the slave's mind would be affected, and it might take a significant amount of time, and retraining, before he/she would feel strong and capable again. M

MaxsGirl -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 8:55:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SexyBossyBBW quote: ORIGINAL: MaxsGirl I'd be pretty lost without Alpha. If something happened to end our relationship, I'm sure I'd flounder a bit. But in the end, I'm an adult with a functioning brain and strong survival instinct, and I'd be able to pull myself up and move on if need be. If you yourself, an adult with strong survival instincts, can admit to floundering (if God forbid...), why would it be unfathomable, that a slave, who for some reason, lost his Master, might feel lost for more than a little while, without counseling/assistance? M I'm definetely not into BDSM porn (much[8D]), but find it believable that if a Master and slave lived their lives a certain way, in time the slave's mind would be affected, and it might take a significant amount of time, and retraining, before he/she would feel strong and capable again. M Not unfathomable at all, and I believe I would be as lost as you describe in your second paragraph. But I think we're arguing semantics. The OP speaks of re-homing, as if the slave is a dog who literally becomes the property of another (with or without her consent) in the event of her Master's leaving or death. In that case, I think that the idea of "re-homing" an adult in a consentual M/s relationship is ridiculous. What you and others seem to be describing, on the other hand, is more of a mentoring situation for someone whose life has been overturned. I find "re-homing" in that context to be entirely appropriate. As you see, we're discussing two entirely different concepts, one of which I disagree with, and the other I would be grateful to find myself in should the need arise.

SexyBossyBBW -> RE: Re-homing (1/20/2011 9:53:39 PM)
quote: re-homing, as if the slave is a dog who literally becomes the property of another (with or without her consent) in the event of her Master's leaving or death. Maybe I'm being naive. I can't disagree with you, not having ever experienced what the OP is asking in real life. M

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Re-homing (1/21/2011 8:49:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Life insurance with her as the beneficiary might have been the better way to go IMO. We consent to enter into power relationships. Therefore we cannot be entered into a different relationship without our consent. The owner may mean well but he would do better to make sure she is financially and otherwise prepared to go on alone. Which means also having strong family ties and other social support. True, life insurance would have been great. Can't argue that. As for family ties, there's family you are born with, and family you choose for yourself. I've met my friends family, and the dominant her Master chose for her was a better option, in my opinion! My friend had/has family ties and other social structures (including me.) She also consented, and was happy with his choice for her. One big happy Lifestyle Family, I guess. It was all theoretical anyway, the best laid plans of mice and men and all that being the case. I just think there are different mindsets, where M/s relationship dynamics are concerned, and like Maxsgirl pointed out, there are different motivational factors involved. Obviously not every slave is going to be on board with the idea.

KatyLied -> RE: Re-homing (1/21/2011 8:55:39 AM)
This would never work for me. I like to make my own decisions regarding relationships.

leadership527 -> RE: Re-homing (1/21/2011 9:06:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TreasureKY Hmmm... a certain dominant here asked Firm if he would leave me to him in his will. Does that count? [:)] DAMNIT! Why didn't I think of that???? Can I get in on the queue in case the first guy isn't available to claim his prize should Firm die?

Hotch -> RE: Re-homing (1/21/2011 9:44:06 AM)
I'm old school... King Tut old school... I believe when the master dies, the slave should be burried with them, to serve them in the afterlife.

DesFIP -> RE: Re-homing (1/21/2011 7:26:04 PM)
Plus how many times can someone be passed around before there's no one left to take them. Let's suppose they're both in their 60's. He dies and she's re-homed. Ten years later the new dom dies and she's in her 70's. At that point she's even older and less able to take care of herself and learn the needed skills to survive on her own. Beyond that, it offends me. Should my grandmother have been re-homed when her husband of 50 plus years died? And isn't a relationship that lasted that long one where the people involved have become enormously dependent upon each other? Yet women grieve, and learn to take care of themselves daily without being sent into a home for unwanted widows. For that matter if a dom hasn't done a load of laundry or cooked his own dinner for over 30 years, isn't he going to be just as incapable of managing by himself should the sub die first? Should he have somebody standing in the wings to do these things for him instead of learning new skills?

Aileen1968 -> RE: Re-homing (1/21/2011 7:55:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cherryunicorn I was reading some of the other message boards on other sites and the topic of "re-homing your slave" came up. It seemed to be defined as having a stand-by dominant in place for a slave if/when the dominant passes away, the new dominant steps in and owns the slave. It also seemed to be defined as if a dominant had too much on his or her plate, the dominant would find their slave a new dominant. This idea of re-homing also seems different than "being under protection". So my question is..... have you ever considered finding your slave a new home? how would you as a slave feel about being found a new home and new dominants? If were re homed how did it work out? My knee-jerk reaction to this as currently a submissive (possibly later down the road a slave) was..... wait "re-homed" I am an adult, i can care for myself, thank you..lol Then I thought about it and realized just because it would not be for me, doesn't mean it isnt perfect for others. While I'm sure there are an extremely small percentage of M/s couples that would do this (daddysprop comes to mind), the majority are just castle realm fantasies.

sexyred1 -> RE: Re-homing (1/21/2011 9:20:01 PM)
Really...re-homing? I didn't realize human beings were like cats and dogs to be given away when someone cannot take care of them anymore. What a unique concept; people not taking responsibility for themselves.

BlackTigerDragon -> RE: Re-homing (1/22/2011 12:19:47 AM)
In my opinion...I will not be a dominant to a sub that couldn't function without a dominant for five minutes, let alone be gasp single! If you need me to throw you straight to the nearest dominant as soon as I die, you need a therapist, not a dominant.

bornbothsexes -> RE: Re-homing (1/22/2011 1:22:45 AM)
I nevr thought about it ,I do wont to be owned but it would be hetic if somthing happend .

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