RE: Can I learn to "enjoy" the belt?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Can I learn to "enjoy" the belt?

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RE: Can I learn to "enjoy" the belt? - 1/28/2011 11:44:03 AM

Chulain

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Idahobulldom
It sounds like this speed bump is almost all mental and probably very little physical. And that is actually to your advantage. A lot easier to train the brain versus getting used to physical pain.

No, I'd say the exact opposite is the case.

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RE: Can I learn to "enjoy" the belt? - 2/12/2011 9:52:59 AM

LDVixen

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Baby steps seem to be helping.

He has been wearing a belt I gave him, a belt that has fond memories for me because it was my uniform belt. It's MY belt, he's simply wearing it. I like that belt, I hand picked it, broke it in, got used to feeling the snugness of it around my waist, adjusted to the weight of it until I forgot it was on me. It was with me those long hours I volunteered, the hours I worked through the night, not realizing the passage of time until I noted the sun had risen yet again. I polished it up with saddle cleaner before giving it to him to wear.

He has been wearing dungarees more often, instead of slacks so my belt is becoming a part of his outfit. It's good to see him using it because it hadn't been used in several years.

A hard limit because of the fear, and not trusting someone enough to not use that fear against me, then being with someone who preferred implements other than belts. I dislike having a hard limit in place due to fear. It's one thing to say "Permanent marking is a hard limit" or "Humiliation is a hard limit" vs "I am terrified of that so it's a hard limit".

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RE: Can I learn to "enjoy" the belt? - 2/12/2011 10:44:02 AM

kalikshama

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Great to hear! Thanks for the update.

KK

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RE: Can I learn to "enjoy" the belt? - 3/4/2011 9:34:45 AM

LDVixen

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Baby steps seems to be helping much more than simply my grinning and bearing it. It helps that it's my belt. It's not HIS belt, or my dad's belt.

We have been working on warming me up, getting me horny, getting me off, warming me up some more, then he has rubbed that strap all over my body, not using it on me as a belt or a strap, just using it like you use a piece of fur or soft cloth to rub someone down.

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RE: Can I learn to "enjoy" the belt? - 3/12/2011 1:33:07 AM

MaamJay

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Oh YAY vixen, that is great news! This IS something you want to get through, and I am a believer in the notion that we can get past fear if we choose to ... and if we take the right steps. These baby steps, and especially it being YOUR belt of which you are fond, are great ideas to begin with. He is a great guy to be willing to take these steps with you now you have said you want to go this route, esp as He was willing to simply respect the 'hard limit' in the first place.

Hope you keep going and that the baby steps keep working!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Can I learn to "enjoy" the belt? - 3/12/2011 8:10:35 AM

TotalDiscipline

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quote:

What tips do you have for helping a person learn to accept if not entirely enjoy something they are not thrilled about?

I surely dont hope every one is going to enjoy it.'It is not meant for that :P

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RE: Can I learn to "enjoy" the belt? - 3/12/2011 10:34:02 AM

Jennislut

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quote:

He was told that the belt was one of my few hard limits from the get go so he understood it.

it seems to me that if hes using a belt on you he didnt understand it. a hard limit is just that - a hard limit - a no go. crossing that line with me would end the relationship on the spot..no discussion, no going back - over.
as to how to get used to it - no idea. i dont try to get used to things i dont like - i avoid them.

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RE: Can I learn to "enjoy" the belt? - 3/12/2011 10:47:15 AM

Arpig

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I'm glad things are working out. Bit by bit is probably the best way to go, but given your past I doubt you will ever learn to enjoy it.

The one thing I can't wrap my head around is why bother. It seems an awful lot of time, effort, unpleasantness, and trouble for no reason. If you don't like the belt...and you have good reason not to...then why use it. There are a million other things to beat your ass with. I just don't understand the thrill of making a girl submit to something she doesn't like...this is supposed to be fun for all involved. But that's just me...good luck with it, and I hope you achieve your goals.

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