my arse from my elbow

my arse from my elbow (Full Version)

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Prinsexx -> my arse from my elbow (12/29/2010 6:05:42 AM)
I have just received a message: sub to slave to "domme"... Do you actually know your arse from your elbow... Well I certainly do know my arse from my elbow, although I must admit to being more focussed on one than the other. I answered politely that if he knew his dynamics a little better (he joined collar today) then he would know that there are very many who have moved from one side of the kneel to the other. And indeed those who inter switch and intra switch. My question is: how frequent, or how usual, or indeed how normal...(can't quite find the right word) is it to progress from one side of the kneel to the other?

mbes -> RE: my arse from my elbow (12/29/2010 6:25:27 AM)
I wouldn't use the word "progress", just because it has connotations of upgrading, and I've seen the thought expressed that one side of the kneel is inherently superior to the other. I don't happen to feel that is true, so reject the use of terms that promote the idea of moving up the ladder from sub to dom. However, I don't see anything unusual in people changing up their positions, either as they go or on a case-by-case basis. It seems to happen quite a lot. Oh, and I do want to add that I just love the word "arse". [:D]

Prinsexx -> RE: my arse from my elbow (12/29/2010 7:03:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mbes I wouldn't use the word "progress", just because it has connotations of upgrading, and I've seen the thought expressed that one side of the kneel is inherently superior to the other. I don't happen to feel that is true, so reject the use of terms that promote the idea of moving up the ladder from sub to dom. However, I don't see anything unusual in people changing up their positions, either as they go or on a case-by-case basis. It seems to happen quite a lot. Oh, and I do want to add that I just love the word "arse". [:D] I like the word arse as well. More useful than elnow don't you think? I didn't intend to imply that it was progress to go from slave to sub to dom or indeed that one position was more 'progressed' than the other. In my experience, dynamics I have felt safest in (as a submissive) have been with those who themselves have previously been submissive. And in my experience it seems that the shift is more normative from sub to dominant. I would be interested in hearing from those who have moved from dominant to submissive and who feel happoer being there.

mbes -> RE: my arse from my elbow (12/29/2010 7:44:40 AM)
Oh, I didn't think you meant it that way, I've just seen it and it trips my triggers. But apologies for making you think I was accusing you! I've moved from being the more dominant partner in our relationship, to the submissive side. We didn't have a formal declaration of such, but I tend to be passionate to put it nicely, and opinionated, and a wee tiny bit outspoken [;)] so he let me lead for a long time, just because so many things fell outside his areas of concern and he's pretty non-confrontational. (I love a good confrontation!) Does that count for what you are curious about?

DarkSteven -> RE: my arse from my elbow (12/29/2010 8:15:18 AM)
prinsexx: block and delete. Quit wasting your time with clods.

Prinsexx -> RE: my arse from my elbow (12/29/2010 9:41:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mbes Oh, I didn't think you meant it that way, I've just seen it and it trips my triggers. But apologies for making you think I was accusing you! I've moved from being the more dominant partner in our relationship, to the submissive side. We didn't have a formal declaration of such, but I tend to be passionate to put it nicely, and opinionated, and a wee tiny bit outspoken [;)] so he let me lead for a long time, just because so many things fell outside his areas of concern and he's pretty non-confrontational. (I love a good confrontation!) Does that count for what you are curious about? Yes I agree that sounds like a shift in dynamics. I suppose I would call what you describe above as being 'switchy' and to be honest I hadn't been thinking of it in terms of changes that might happen within a long term relationship.

Prinsexx -> RE: my arse from my elbow (12/29/2010 9:46:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven prinsexx: block and delete. Quit wasting your time with clods. Oh heck already you say? I've been talking to myself for about six months (well might as well have been) and have only been back here what two days? Give me a few weeks before I settle for somnambulism again.

mbes -> RE: my arse from my elbow (12/29/2010 11:49:23 AM)
Heh Well, I've been trying to find a good word for myself (besides some of those ones other people call me from time to time! [:@] ) and I do love the long strips of stingy tree bits, so switchy will work just fine. Thanks! [:D]

xssve -> RE: my arse from my elbow (12/29/2010 2:00:04 PM)
Sorry, that scene from Blazing Saddles keeps popping into my head here: Lili Von Shtupp: Tell me, schatze, is it twue what they say about the way you people are... gifted? [sound of zipper opening] Lili Von Shtupp: Oh, it's twue. It's twue. It's twue, it's twue! <deleted line> Bart: I hate to disappoint you baby, but that's my elbow you're sucking on! </deleted line>

xssve -> RE: my arse from my elbow (12/29/2010 2:03:10 PM)
I should think it would count as personal progress, i.e., a broader range of experience. Then there are those people who learned everything they needed to know in kindergarten, and refuse to learn anything else.

hausboy -> RE: my arse from my elbow (12/29/2010 2:45:48 PM)
Prinsexx... I started off as a sub and a SAM (depended on the top/Mistress)....but I was also trained with the skills I needed to be a top. I found someone very inexperienced and I became her Dom. Over time, we became very romantically involved, and I later fully submitted to her. I prefer the sub side of the kneel. So while I'm skilled as a Dom, and if given a boy/girl to play with, I'm happy to oblige, but for the long term, I prefer being a sub. clear as mud?

DesFIP -> RE: my arse from my elbow (12/29/2010 4:42:54 PM)
You missed a perfect opportunity, op. You should have said that yes, you did, and sent him a link to a basic anatomy text with a suggestion that he learns the difference. I don't think it matters how many other people find that they enjoy being on the other side of the kneel. You've learned that you do, if the energy for it is right, and that's all that's important.

Prinsexx -> RE: my arse from my elbow (12/29/2010 6:33:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hausboy Prinsexx... I started off as a sub and a SAM (depended on the top/Mistress)....but I was also trained with the skills I needed to be a top. I found someone very inexperienced and I became her Dom. Over time, we became very romantically involved, and I later fully submitted to her. I prefer the sub side of the kneel. So while I'm skilled as a Dom, and if given a boy/girl to play with, I'm happy to oblige, but for the long term, I prefer being a sub. clear as mud? That's as clear as a bell. An authentic answer and really one I can understand. Thank you.

WolfyMontgomery -> RE: my arse from my elbow (12/30/2010 2:40:57 AM)
While I personally have never been on the other side of the kneel, I have met lots of other people that have. Either they were switches, or they realized that one wasn't the right thing for them, or while they enjoyed one they tried the other and found they liked it better, etc... I wouldn't call it completely common though, since I've also met tons of people who couldn't ever wrap their heads around personally switching sides, long term or short. I have to admit that I am one of those people - the closest to 'switching' or trying out the other side of the kneel was with one girl, and I wouldn't call it "dominance" that I felt so much as... she brought out the "Man" in me. It was a really odd feeling, I can tell you that much - and not one I was totally comfortable with. But I am quite comfortable on the kneeling side of the kneel. Master on the other hand... we can't decide what he is ;D He likes pain, but he likes control. So it's like... closest he gets is topping from the bottom I guess. Does that count? =P

MaxsGirl -> RE: my arse from my elbow (12/30/2010 9:58:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WolfyMontgomery Master on the other hand... we can't decide what he is ;D He likes pain, but he likes control. So it's like... closest he gets is topping from the bottom I guess. Does that count? =P My Alpha is a bit like this. It's possible to be a Dom and a bottom at the same time. It's also possible to be a sub/slave and a top. I am very much a slave, but sometimes enjoy topping. I don't want to be in control, I just like hurting people. [;)]

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