RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (Full Version)

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DarkSteven -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/23/2010 12:46:21 PM)

Get their daughter a Barbie doll.  Only costs $15 or so.  But she's gonna need fifteen friends, accessories, cars, etc.

Starting a doll fetish in their kid - priceless.




FirmhandKY -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/23/2010 2:27:49 PM)

FR:

I'm not sure that I'd give anyone a gift that I did not like.  Nor do I understand the reason someone would, really.

Firm




PeonForHer -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/23/2010 3:16:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Do you realize how few people on the planet actually make My 'can't stand' list?  If I had a nickle for each, I couldn't even come up with a dollar.  It's rare for Me not to come up with some redeeming quality for another person.

A thought, perhaps.  Have you considered Kenny G?



LP,  you're trying hard, but I don't think you're really getting into the swing of things on this thread.  You need to get into the spirit of Christmas by searching hard within yourself for whatever misanthropy you have.  Work with it, go with its flow.  Think of partners of friends of yours, or those of brothers or sisters.  Surely there's someone amongst those who really boils your bladder? 

However, I think that there's blood-red light at the end of the tunnel for you.  Kenny G is inspired!  Not, admittedly, in Cliff's class for sheer, vomit-inducing, almost-overpowering-need-to-chuck-a-brick-at-the-video-screen repulsiveness - but still a contender to be taken seriously for his ability to create an instant feeling of depression at the inherent tawdriness of the world. 

Carry on the good work!




PeonForHer -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/23/2010 3:17:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Give their children loud, obnoxious toys with lots of flashing lights. And be sure to include lots of batteries.


I love that one!  The inclusion of lots of batteries indicates thoughtfulness indeed!




PeonForHer -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/23/2010 3:23:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Does that mean you won't like the Barry Manilow CD I got you?


Mr Manilow is a towering colossus in the world of cheesy, dismal music, Lady C.  How could I fail to like it?




SorceressJ -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/23/2010 3:56:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Give their children loud, obnoxious toys with lots of flashing lights. And be sure to include lots of batteries.


I became a first-time grandmother this year. I have been looking forward to the above gift-giving activities all my life, and the time has finally come, WOOT!!1!
P.S. Point being, I actually LOVE my son and his family very much, so pls disregard the "..people you can't stand" part..




PeonForHer -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/23/2010 3:59:15 PM)

FR

Well, I had a horrible feeling shortly after starting this thread that lots of Americans would fall over each other in their eagerness to apprise me of the fact that I must have "issues".  In response to such an observation, I would of course point out that I can't have "issues" because I'm not American.  As a Brit I have problems.  Whatever, this is precisely a thread for those who have problems, or issues, and those who don't have either I would politely ask to move on to a different thread.  We want no balanced, warm and loving people here.  We want misanthropes.  Also, I don't think we should tolerate the view of e.g. FirmhandNY who opines:  "I'm not sure that I'd give anyone a gift that I did not like.  Nor do I understand the reason someone would, really."   We should have no platform here for this kind of logical and reasonable nonsense. 

So, some more suggestions.  First - is it still possible to buy posters of weeping boys?  They're staggeringly tasteless and well worth giving to a friend's annoying teenaged daughter.  Likewise that famous picture of the female tennis player scratching her arse.  And any picture of dolphins frolicking in the sea.

My father's got a clock that I'd love to find, if I could.  It's a wall-clock with a pendulum.  The Roman numerals on it are stuck-on transfers, and the six is where the twelve should be, and vice versa.  It has a completely useless pendulum underneath - useless because it's a quartz, battery-powered clock.  It has 'QUARTZ' in huge big letters, across its face.  He loves this clock.  Everyone else who looks at it shakes his or her head in wonder.  It's the last word in bad taste. 

Actually, no it isn't.  I was in a gift shop in the East End of London a while ago.  There were various religious ornaments for sale, included in which were crucifixes, made of plastic sprayed with silver paint, mounted on wood-look stands.  Some were plain crosses; others had a Jesus figurine on them.  A customer was at the counter, enquiring about the prices.  The old lady serving said, 'They're £4.99 each, or £5.99 for them ones with a little man on 'em ."

I want one with a little man on it.  I could nick a solid silver crucifix from the local church and leave that in its place.  I know they'd thank me for it.  Yes. 




LadyPact -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/23/2010 3:59:17 PM)

See, I don't consider giving the Grands toys like that as a can't stand thing, either.

I do consider it a bit of fun revenge though.  [8D]




Phoenixpower -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/23/2010 4:17:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SorceressJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Give their children loud, obnoxious toys with lots of flashing lights. And be sure to include lots of batteries.


I became a first-time grandmother this year. I have been looking forward to the above gift-giving activities all my life, and the time has finally come, WOOT!!1!
P.S. Point being, I actually LOVE my son and his family very much, so pls disregard the "..people you can't stand" part..


dito to SorceressJ comment but yes....I enjoyed to give my nephew last year a loud crash bum bang maschine, knowing that I won't have to babysit him with being in another country [:)] Am still considering to give him a child drum kit in another 1-2 years time...though I somehow doubt that this would go down well with my Bro and my SIL [:D] even when it would save them to bother about batteries [:D]

[image]local://upfiles/665465/5D342B1948E849AE94273C00A7BF1FE7.jpg[/image]




LanceHughes -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/23/2010 6:24:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Get their daughter a Barbie doll.  Only costs $15 or so.  But she's gonna need fifteen friends, accessories, cars, etc.

Starting a doll fetish in their kid - priceless.

Trains for boys?  Not the same.  Dads will enjoy those waaaay too much. LOL!

Maybe a hand-held video gaming system?  "Oh, I forgot to send the game itself. Darn!"




pahunkboy -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/23/2010 6:30:04 PM)

Why not give Lance as a gift?  


STOMP




MercTech -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/23/2010 6:41:55 PM)

For those that are a PITA; Boudreaux's Butt Paste:

http://www.buttpaste.com/BLButtPaste.php

Stefan




LanceHughes -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/23/2010 10:56:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy
Why not give Lance as a gift?  

STOMP

Actually, NOT a bad idea.

That way, I rip the one getting the gift a new one. ('Cause that's the way I roll.)  At the same time, the one GIVING the gift gets to enjoy.

<I'll be arriving at your house on Christmas morn'.  Be afraid, be very afraid.>




Lucylastic -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/24/2010 3:39:10 AM)

Peon I adore you , yanno that right?
I thought of you...
Merry christmas dahhhlink
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDdoJoc1bW4&feature=related




PeonForHer -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/24/2010 4:24:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

Peon I adore you , yanno that right?
I thought of you...
Merry christmas dahhhlink
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDdoJoc1bW4&feature=related



Aww, thank you, Lucy!  *Blush*

But if you adore me, how can you inflict such pain on me?

Er, hang on, I'm forgetting which website I'm using . . . .





LadyConstanze -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/24/2010 5:38:08 AM)

I don't really give mean gifts, if somebody pisses me off, I remove them from my life, where's the point in having idiots around? Though I have had some fun telling the kids of friends and family that they might want a cute pony, a drum set, etc. Just supplying them with ideas on how to annoy their parents...




Jaybeee -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/24/2010 6:31:14 AM)

Already did this 3 years back for a friend's wife who I utterly despise (and I know the feeling is mutual); an electric 2-in-1 jar+can-opener, monogrammed "To Gemma, From Jaybeee". Had her unwrap it in front of him, and it is still on her worktop, at least it was 3 weeks back.

Too handy to throw away, too personalised to give away, and a constant thorn in the cunts side, as the text looms large every time it's used, and her visitors are always asking who "Jaybeee" is.

:)




popeye1250 -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/24/2010 9:25:06 AM)

A giant poster of Helen Thomas.
A giant poster of Barney Fwank.
A giant poster of Opra Winfrey.




LadyConstanze -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/24/2010 12:25:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

See, I don't consider giving the Grands toys like that as a can't stand thing, either.

I do consider it a bit of fun revenge though.  [8D]




So happy I don't have kids, my parents would possibly give them drum kits and trumpets...




PeonForHer -> RE: Christmas presents for people you can't stand (12/24/2010 4:46:39 PM)

Anything from the local petrol station, making sure that the price tag is still on it.  Superb!




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