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FirmhandKY -> Politically Correct Christmas Greetings (12/22/2010 9:16:40 AM)
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From the internet (not mine, in other words), but interesting and I though worth posting in the P&R forums:
All:
Please accept with no obligation, explicit or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions at all; and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year of 2011, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, sexual preference, or computer platform choice of the intended recipient of these wishes.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually facilitate any of the wishes for the recipient(s) of said greeting, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until issuance of a subsequent greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to the replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher. Furthermore, the order of recipients' email addresses in the header does not necessarily reflect any degree of fondness, indifference, or dislike for the intended recipients as perceived by the sender of this greeting.
Any statements in this greeting about future expectations, plans, and prospects for good tidings and world peace, including guidance about future implementation of those wishes, and other statements containing the words "happy," "merry," "joyful," "hope," and similar expressions, constitute forward-looking statements within the meaning of The Holiday Greeting Reform Act of 1995. Actual results may differ materially from those indicated by such forward-looking statements as a result of various important factors, including: our dependence on the good will of others; and other factors discussed in our latest quarterly report on Form 10-K filed with the North Pole Greetings and Salutations Commission on August 16, 2010. In addition, the forward-looking statements included in this greeting represent our status on the good/bad list as of December 23, 2010. We anticipate that subsequent events and developments could cause our views to change, but our desire for those views to be realized will not. However, while we may elect to update these forward-looking statements at some point in the future, we specifically disclaim any obligation to do so. These forward- looking statements should not be relied upon as representing our views as of any date subsequent to December 23, 2010.
The reader is strongly advised to watch out, and to not pout or cry.
As a last resort, have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
All My Best,
Firm
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