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the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/22/2010 5:52:38 AM

salemartist

Posts: 195
Joined: 12/17/2010
From: Salem
Status: offline

this is just a musing, something I spoke to a friend in the lifestyle the other day... his arguement was that BDSM really isnt a great acryonm, his point was the the D and the S pretty much covered it and the B was redundant and bondage is part of Dominantion. I whole heartedly disagreed, pointing out that Bondage can be a strain of interest on its own and doesnt have to be linked to S&M I know some forms of bondage are strictly for astetics and some people may enjoy tying or being tied with no domination or pain. How about you? Do you feel the standard acryonm of BDSM defines your intrests properly?

Post #: 1

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/22/2010 6:10:38 AM

mbes

Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
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I don't really care for the b in bdsm, I don't have the patience and get anxious if I can't move. Now tied to the bed for sex is great, or to the cross for playtime, but stretches of time spent progressively more immobilized just makes me... itchy for want of a better term. Sadly, he likes it in concept, but doesn't indulge much because he doesn't like to make me itchy. Come to think of it, I should probably talk to him about that...
Anyway, yes, I think the term is just fine as it is. It's possible to do the bondage part without any domination, and certainly the s&m part doesn't have to have anything to do with domination or submission.

(in reply to salemartist)

Post #: 2

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/22/2010 6:46:20 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14449
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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BDSM = Bondage, Discipline, Sado-Masochism. Somewhere along the line someone on the internet decided that it D/s should be inserted, but I don't agree with this.

I know people that enagage in D/s and they don't engage in BDSM.

I know people that engage in BDSM that don't engage in D/s.

_____________________________

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(in reply to mbes)

Post #: 3

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/22/2010 6:59:27 AM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
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Is anybody else hearing this as a potentially cool rap song?

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Post #: 4

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/22/2010 12:11:06 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

We do not use the more modern take on BDSM that includes Dominance and submission. We use the acronym as Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism which equals the things that one can do... rather than what people are.

Of course bondage isn't redundant. A collar is a form of bondage in itself...even marriage or whatever contract you draw up together... it's not all just ropes and restraints. Bondage is 'to be bound to'... even if that is just one person or poly family.

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(in reply to salemartist)

Post #: 5

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/22/2010 12:14:23 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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BDSM is a catch all phrase and as others pointed out, it does not mean you practice everything within the spectrum.

It is just easier to say, I am into the world of BDSM and then go from there. I think adding D/s to the mix is just redundant, even though again, you can be into one thing and not the other.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 6

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/22/2010 12:16:15 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

Is anybody else hearing this as a potentially cool rap song?

WTF; a "cool rap song"???? Must be one of those oxy-moron thingys?

Btw, yep, I'm old, white and foreign....

Focus.

_____________________________

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(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

Post #: 7

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/22/2010 12:26:28 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: salemartist

this is just a musing, something I spoke to a friend in the lifestyle the other day... his arguement was that BDSM really isnt a great acryonm, his point was the the D and the S pretty much covered it and the B was redundant and bondage is part of Dominantion. I whole heartedly disagreed, pointing out that Bondage can be a strain of interest on its own and doesnt have to be linked to S&M I know some forms of bondage are strictly for astetics and some people may enjoy tying or being tied with no domination or pain. How about you? Do you feel the standard acryonm of BDSM defines your intrests properly?

I think all that matters is that the term "BDSM" has been around for ages and most interested in exploring it know those four simple letters make for an easy google....

As for the literal meanings of individual letters, I think it's kinda like reading posts - you take on board that which is relevant to you and ignore the rest.... I'm certainly that into specific sado-masochism (SM) but yeah, Master and Slave (MS - or SM?) strikes a chord....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to salemartist)

Post #: 8

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/22/2010 1:44:23 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

It's actually the B that I'm the least interested in. I'm not much of a bondage person. Never have been. It's a means to an end for Me. If I use it at all, it's to keep somebody still so I can get to the fun of beating them.

Not that I don't appreciate good bondage. It's beautiful to look at (when other people do it) and rope folks have a style all of their own. While I can 'get by' with rope, Mine is never like that of a real rope enthusiast, with every knot just so. If anything for Me, I'm likely to do a couple of two column ties and then get the real toys out.

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(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 9

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/22/2010 1:55:16 PM

tzr6977

Posts: 149
Joined: 10/11/2010
Status: offline

I agree with what many have said. BDSM is like a general term. Sort of like when you say Doctor, there are MANY types of doctors both medical and non-medical.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 10

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/22/2010 2:25:43 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Do you feel the standard acryonm of BDSM defines your intrests properly?

No, but only because my interests CAN NOT be defined by simple words/letters.

However, along with the question that you asked...I do think that BDSM DOES cover the basics quite nicely.

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(in reply to salemartist)

Post #: 11

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/22/2010 4:10:13 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Now I'm all about bondage with zero interest in s & m. I don't float from pain, more from sensory deprivation.

Since it's apparent just in a few posts that lots of us don't feel s & m should include bondage and conversely that bondage shouldn't be included in s & m, I'd say the acronym should stand as it is.

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(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 12

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/22/2010 4:46:11 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

I'm certainly NOT that into specific sado-masochism (SM) but yeah, Master and Slave (MS - or SM?) strikes a chord....

Focus.

I'll just shamelessly quote myself to say what I meant to say while living in denial about the (alleged) need for me to wear my glasses when I post.... <sigh>

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 13

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/22/2010 8:20:19 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

I see them as separate branches.
One can do B/D w/o doing S/M (Though I think the D part ties in pretty closely to D/S-discipline and domination seem to be shoots from the same branch)
One can do S/M with zero B/D and/or D/S. Think a gal who just likes the endorphin rush but doesn't like any of the other relationship/power exchange trappings.
And of course, one can have a strict D/S relationship that involves no B/D and zilch S/M. Just think about bossy guys.
Now, pin me down and I will say that I see D/S as the trunk that all other things shoot out of, but that's just in my interactions.

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(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 14

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/23/2010 5:53:57 AM

salemartist

Posts: 195
Joined: 12/17/2010
From: Salem
Status: offline

great reponses folks, I see most concure with my theroy, perhaps all 4 letters can stand on their own, but I guess it does generalize the "lifestyle" down to a cute little acronym. But wouldnt "Kink" be a good generalizing term as well? cant we all agree that even if your not into bondage or disipline or maybe you are but not into S&M, would you all agree we are "Kinky"?or into "Kink" and hey its still only 4 letters

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 15

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/23/2010 6:09:01 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

It's actually the B that I'm the least interested in. I'm not much of a bondage person. Never have been. It's a means to an end for Me. If I use it at all, it's to keep somebody still so I can get to the fun of beating them.

Not that I don't appreciate good bondage. It's beautiful to look at (when other people do it) and rope folks have a style all of their own. While I can 'get by' with rope, Mine is never like that of a real rope enthusiast, with every knot just so. If anything for Me, I'm likely to do a couple of two column ties and then get the real toys out.

this makes me haz a happy :)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 16

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/23/2010 6:27:49 AM

mbes

Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline

I don't know about everyone else here, but I'm kinky!

Kink, to me, describes the activities rather than the relationships, but that could just be me.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 17

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/23/2010 6:29:30 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

I agree, mbes :)

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to mbes)

Post #: 18

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/23/2010 6:37:45 AM

salemartist

Posts: 195
Joined: 12/17/2010
From: Salem
Status: offline

I also agree!

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 19

RE: the B to the D to the S to the M - 12/23/2010 8:21:29 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: salemartist

great reponses folks, I see most concure with my theroy, perhaps all 4 letters can stand on their own, but I guess it does generalize the "lifestyle" down to a cute little acronym. But wouldnt "Kink" be a good generalizing term as well? cant we all agree that even if your not into bondage or disipline or maybe you are but not into S&M, would you all agree we are "Kinky"?or into "Kink" and hey its still only 4 letters

no, sorry. i am not into BDSM, and i am not kinky. both of those terms refer to erotic activities in some form or fashion. i especially dislike kinky because of it's light-hearted "fun" connotation. that is not what my life as a submissive woman or a slave is about.

(in reply to salemartist)

Post #: 20

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