Saving someone's life online?!

Saving someone's life online?! (Full Version)

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SirLost -> Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 3:08:43 PM)
I don't know how to start this topic. I have been lurking in a BDSM portal's (it is not CollarMe, but somewhere else) chatrooms recently. I've just got involved in a stunning event (I'm good in finding trouble). False abbreviations will be used as nicknames. Everything started with m{XG}, a submissive man, joining into the LF room, where I have been visiting only since a few days ago. He asked me whether I have seen XG, his Mistress, recently and I said I didn't. Then m{XG} asked another Mistress (who is one of the room owners) whether she had seen XG. As I understood, XG had a fight with D inside the chatroom last week, D is a man who has real life contact and relationship with her. D was really pissed off and set off to XG's house. You may guess the rest, XG wasn't seen again. People in the room were concerned that D might have done something to her, m{XG} thought that they would go to police. But yet, they are so scared of a N character, who happens to be another room owner Mistress, knowing that N would be totally pissed off if any authorities get involved in room affairs. I said that I am not afraid and am willing to do whatever needs to be done to rescue XG, no matter what N thinks of me. The thing is, I am not an American citizen and have no idea how to inform their police about this. Instead of this, I am planning to contact some authorities within that BDSM site, assuming they have got an idea about what to do, but I am just not sure if providing my logs would be enough them to get me serious. And I must confess that the idea of being somehow involved in this serious case scares me, but a person's life in question here. Does anyone have any similar experience or thought?

AquaticSub -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 3:15:23 PM)
~Fast Reply~ Uhh.... before you get your knickers into too much of a twist, does anyone have this person's address/contact info? Can someone just call her? As long as you have her name and address, you should be able to get local law enforcement to just go by and see if she is there. If you explain that you saw someone threatening her online and haven't seen her for X amount of hours they should be able to go check. If you seriously think her life is in danger, don't waste time (if this is really a life or death situation, time is limited) with the site moderators. Go to the police. Contact her local police and explain the situation.

littlewonder -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 5:21:44 PM)
I used to see this crap online in chat rooms all the time. Just a lot of fantasy fodder and drama. I ignore it and move on with my life....not my concern or problem. I wouldn't be worried about it. 9 out of 10 times..I'll even say 10 out of 10 times it's just a lot of dramawhores looking for attention or even just one person playing the part of multiples to get a rise out of you and that's exactly what they are doing.

pahunkboy -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 6:39:32 PM)
I doubt there is anything you can do about it. I agree with Littlewonder... it is against my better judgment to get into the above...

ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 7:12:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirLost The thing is, I am not an American citizen and have no idea how to inform their police about this. Instead of this, I am planning to contact some authorities within that BDSM site, assuming they have got an idea about what to do, but I am just not sure if providing my logs would be enough them to get me serious. And I must confess that the idea of being somehow involved in this serious case scares me, but a person's life in question here. Does anyone have any similar experience or thought? As others have said, it's probably nothing. But you're the one with first-hand knowledge of the circumstances, and you think there may be reason to worry. So you're the one who has to make the decision. It's probably not something I would do, but you know more about the situation than I do, so if you decide that you want to involve the authorities, I certainly won't second-guess you. If you know the city in which she lives, and her address, you can usually contact the local authorities and ask them to do what is often called a "welfare check." They'll ask you for some details, of course, but if what you say adds up they'll usually go and knock on her door to make sure she's OK. It's up to you whether you really feel it's appropriate to go that far, but if that's what you decide to do, it's not very complicated. Edit: Oh, and good luck. I hope it turns out to be nothing, and that she's not too angry with you!

KatyLied -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 7:13:52 PM)
quote: Does anyone have any similar experience or thought? Yep, it's on-line drama in a chatroom. Probably has nothing to deal with real life.

DarkSteven -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 7:22:36 PM)
It reminds me of my algebra classes....

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 7:23:41 PM)
I'm not saying it's room drama, but I hung out in the yahoo personal chat rooms years ago and saw too much of this. One person would say something looking for pity, threaten suicide or whatever and it turned out to be the usual llama drama. I once was online when one of the female regulars threatened suicide because the guy she was "so in love with" decided not to come to her city (which happened to be where I also lived) when he found out she was married. She'd go from guy to guy, leaving a trail of nothing but mess. I called her "the flavor of the month". She did later attempt suicide, but it was at home, her husband was there and "rescued" her in time. She just wanted the attention. Since she wasn't getting it at home, or so she figured, she did it online. I knew where she worked and once went to the store to make sure she was there on the day she was supposed to work. This was after some poor guy who was a close friend of mine confided that she'd threatened suicide with him in a PM the night before. Took me 2 wks to finally convince him that she wasn't worth it and he should just walk away. Iggy at the time was a wonderful thing.

KatyLied -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 7:26:00 PM)
quote: It reminds me of my algebra classes.... haha, that too.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 7:27:43 PM)
Lost, You seem like a nice enough fellow. Listen, there are a lot of people in chatrooms who are not totally honest about themselves. They enjoy the drama, the attention. Here's a link for some examples / information: http://hubpages.com/hub/Munchausen_by_Internet I wouldn't be surprised if some of these online characters you are talking to are in fact the same person. I know of at least 2 people from CM who faked their deaths for the chatrooms. And at least one person who was "suicidal". It's one of the reasons I rarely use the chat rooms anymore. Too much nonsense. be careful, sunshine

LadyConstanze -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 7:54:14 PM)
I'm just having a "dohhhhh" moment, what the hell? Faking your own death? That's crazy, that's morbid and what the hell do they get from that?

sunshinemiss -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 8:00:29 PM)
Well Constanze, they get to watch all the sympathy and hear people talk about how great they were (in the guise of their other online persona of course). It's actually a pretty well documented type of disorder. Did you see the movie 6th Sense? SPOILER ALERT - in case you've been under a rock The mother in that movie had Munchausen's by proxy. She got all that sympathy and people thought she was such a great mom to sacrifice so much for her child... blah blah blah. Same online. Oh you are such a good Master! Taking such good care of your sub until she succumbed. Wow, you are such a great guy! I want a guy just like you! blah blah blah.... Some people want any attention. Sad, actually. best, sunshine

AquaticSub -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 8:01:47 PM)
Attention.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 8:11:08 PM)
But that's online attention, and then the people think you are dead so you're gone from their lives... I mean it's not like they could give you a hug or you get more friends from it, actually less people you can talk to because they think you are dead...

sunshinemiss -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 8:17:05 PM)
You're missing a couple of crucial points Constanze... For some people ANY attention is good attention. Also, they DO experience the attention. They are STILL online, but they are using a different nick. They continue in the different nick/ sock poppet form and experience all the attention.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 8:44:17 PM)
I guess I'm a bit dim, but I still can't see the attraction, a couple of people saying that it is tragic that I died and that I was nice, errr, would be alright if I had died, but I guess if I'm dead I won't care much what they're going to say anyway. If I'm still alive then what? Some people mourn for me and that is making somebody feel better? I guess I would need lots of drinks (close to being comatose probably) to understand the logic in that... I get the "any attention" bit to a degree because that's like the guys dropping their pants drunk on Saturday night and embarrassing themselves most, I even gave up saying "Wow, is it really THAT cold..." Not trying to be mean or anything, I like a lot of people here, but still unless we're in touch somehow through messages or phone, it's just a lot of people who don't influence my life. Say I'd be upset if a friend would think I'm an idiot, if somebody online thinks it, OK, it's going to change my life exactly how? I just find it terrible that they cause so many people grief with such shit, if I'd think somebody died or got hurt, I'd be upset too and worried. Don't they realize that they are hurting people? Well, they possibly do but they don't care...

sunshinemiss -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 8:59:52 PM)
That, my dear Constanze, is the crux of things... You are a healthy, well adjusted person. (or so you appear [;)][;)][;)][;)])... Many people are not. They don't care if they are hurting people. They are so screwed up and lost in their own lives that others don't hit their radar except as people who give them what they want. I think you should ponder all this while you bake cookies! And continue pondering as you make your way to the nearest post office to send the cookies to me! And then by the time you have finished, you will have forgotten all about the whackadoos! nod nod nod

LadyConstanze -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 9:05:14 PM)
I can't bake cookies, but I was offering to send you decaff tea the other day when you complained that nobody ever brings you any...

AquaticSub -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 9:19:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze But that's online attention, and then the people think you are dead so you're gone from their lives... I mean it's not like they could give you a hug or you get more friends from it, actually less people you can talk to because they think you are dead... People speak well of the dead usually. Glowingly most times, particularly those who died tragically. Which the person gets to enjoy under their new name. Honesty... these people don't care. People who have this condition will, in other forms, hurt their children, their spouse, and others in their care to get that attention. They are mentally ill at worst and just assholes fucking with people on the Internet at best.

windchymes -> RE: Saving someone's life online?! (12/14/2010 9:28:36 PM)
I'm casting another vote for chatroom drama. I saw it too many times back in my chatroom days. As an observer, not part of the cast, though, lol. A lot of people do it because there are so many kind, sympathetic people in the rooms who, when presented with a "woe is me, I'm going to go eat worms" sob story, rush in with online hugs and kisses and kind words, which is what the storyteller is craving, unfortunately. Attention.

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