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Reverse gold digging - 12/4/2010 8:17:50 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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irsmeinLV posted a thread here: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3489275/tm.htm about her Dom, who told her to do something to please him and gave her the money to do so.

I was wondering how you folks would think of the converse happening. Say that a woman spends a fair amount of time/money on her appearance. Would you feel okay with a Dom directing her to spend less time/money there, and direct the time and money elsewhere?

In the extreme situation, he would tell her to quit spending money on her makeup and let him have control over it.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

Post #: 1

RE: Reverse gold digging - 12/4/2010 8:23:27 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Is he any good at buying and applying cosmetics? Because being make up badly in public is humiliating.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 2

RE: Reverse gold digging - 12/4/2010 9:01:18 AM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

To me, if the Man is a Master, his expectations and standards are what matter. He is responsible for what he owns, if he feels his money would be better spent elsewhere, that is his perogative. However, he would also have to deal with why she spends the money on what she does -- it could be an insecurity she harbors that she needs this stuff rather than enjoys same. So his taking it away arbitrarily may cause her insecurities to rise and then he would have to deal with them.

I've always enjoyed all the maintenance stuff women do, though i don't need it, i do want it. So his taking it away may frustrate me and he would have to deal with that, he would be taking away an luxury more than a need from me. For other women that may not be so.

The men i find myself involved with however, have expectations and standards which they are willing to expend money on for the woman to reach and maintain. I do enjoy men who allow me my luxuries in life if i am going to be tolling in slavery to them. :-)

angel

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 3

RE: Reverse gold digging - 12/4/2010 9:31:52 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

if that is what Master wanted then that's what I would do. It's his choice.

Thankfully Master likes that I take care of myself but it doesn't really cost me all that much and I have the money to do so. Now if I was doing it and not getting my bills paid then he might have something to say about it but thankfully that's not the case.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 12/4/2010 9:34:42 AM >

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 4

RE: Reverse gold digging - 12/4/2010 9:42:21 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Yes, I am the reverse of a golddigger.

I have spewn goldschlager on several occasions.

Hmmmm.....or am I not tracking this well.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 5

RE: Reverse gold digging - 12/4/2010 10:27:17 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

My guy is entitled to ask me for whatever he wants and I'd do it.
I am very confident in my appearance no matter what clothing/jewelry/makeup happens to be on me at any given time so it's not like I'd find it a big deal to go without, and if it was his preference it would make me feel all gushy to be able to do what he wanted. I might ask sometimes for him to allow me something and if he didn't I might feel wistful over not being able to paint my toenails anymore because I adore having painted toenails, but overall...I'm not going to sweat it.

I like pleasing my man more than pleasing myself, I'd be fine with it.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 6

RE: Reverse gold digging - 12/4/2010 11:16:23 AM

TSsubmissive

Posts: 8
Joined: 10/11/2009
Status: offline

No way, that's not what I want and we wouldn't be a good match for a couple.

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 7

RE: Reverse gold digging - 12/4/2010 11:22:26 AM

auditguy

Posts: 182
Joined: 3/7/2009
Status: offline

Hey the Dom could be into the Trash style (which on the right girl looks really hot), although I think the Olsen twins make a fortune off of that.

(in reply to TSsubmissive)

Post #: 8

RE: Reverse gold digging - 12/4/2010 12:57:55 PM

petmonkey

Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
I was wondering how you folks would think of the converse happening. Say that a woman spends a fair amount of time/money on her appearance. Would you feel okay with a Dom directing her to spend less time/money there, and direct the time and money elsewhere?

With the caveat that the Dom/me was a mature, reasonably wise, reasonably unselfish person, i doubt it would be a problem. The sticky wicket would be if there were a conflict between orders, a Catch 22, or if the order was harmful to the sub's future or the overall relationship's future--it would be necessary that it had a logical reason and had a longer term benefit.

Some examples:
*I don't want you to (A) spend money on your outward appearance but I want you to (B) look like a magazine cover-girl at all times. You will be punished/ I will be dissatisfied if you don't do both A and B.

*I want you to pay for <insert activity> right now and I don't care if your using your 401k allotment/nest egg/taking out a high interest loan/canceling your insurance/not able to pay for other necessary bills or what-have-you but I want you to stay within your budget/ never have cash flow problems.

Am i making sense?

If one is going to really get into mucking around with another person's finances, be knowledgeable about those finances, consider repercussions and be consistent in your comands. Foolhardiness and unthoughtful decisions in this matter will really trip up your enjoyment of your sub later on.

edited to delete an errant parenthesis.

< Message edited by petmonkey -- 12/4/2010 1:49:04 PM >

_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 9

RE: Reverse gold digging - 12/4/2010 1:35:41 PM

MissAsylum

Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline

i agree with monkey. if the Dom/Domme doesn't want the slave to spend so much money on themselves, i think it would be wise to expect a recoil. if you met this person and they were well taken care of physically and had all of their ducks in a row in terms of paying bills and whatnot, why would you make them allocate the funds elsewhere? there is a good chance they won't look/act the same when that's taken away. and I also agree witb angel, if you are going to be in relationship with this person for the long term, the least they can do is allow you to look nice.

_____________________________

I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

(in reply to petmonkey)

Post #: 10

RE: Reverse gold digging - 12/4/2010 4:15:42 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Plus telling them they aren't allowed to get a decent hair cut and them looking less than professional in dress and appearance will cause them to be overlooked for promotions. So the dominant has to be trustworthy to know when they are helping or harming, and has to have enough knowledge to know if their judgments in this area are trustworthy. The Man cannot be trusted to pick coordinating colors, and he knows it. If he mistakenly believed he was a natural stylist, that's a problem.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to MissAsylum)

Post #: 11

RE: Reverse gold digging - 12/4/2010 5:22:56 PM

Jaybeee

Posts: 532
Joined: 2/2/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

irsmeinLV posted a thread here: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3489275/tm.htm about her Dom, who told her to do something to please him and gave her the money to do so.

I was wondering how you folks would think of the converse happening. Say that a woman spends a fair amount of time/money on her appearance. Would you feel okay with a Dom directing her to spend less time/money there, and direct the time and money elsewhere?

In the extreme situation, he would tell her to quit spending money on her makeup and let him have control over it.

Pie in the sky theory. The former scenario is FAR more prevalant.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 12

RE: Reverse gold digging - 12/4/2010 5:27:01 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Because being make up badly in public is humiliating.

Do not give 'em any ideas!!!

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 13

RE: Reverse gold digging - 12/4/2010 5:36:24 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

irsmeinLV posted a thread here: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3489275/tm.htm about her Dom, who told her to do something to please him and gave her the money to do so.

I was wondering how you folks would think of the converse happening. Say that a woman spends a fair amount of time/money on her appearance. Would you feel okay with a Dom directing her to spend less time/money there, and direct the time and money elsewhere?

In the extreme situation, he would tell her to quit spending money on her makeup and let him have control over it.

Would I be ok a dominant telling another woman to let him take over her make-up, etc? Yeah... sure. Whatever makes them happy. If it's not making them happy then - like anything - they need to sort it out.

Now... for me... I dunno how I would feel about it. My appearance and tending to my appearance is so soothing to me. I really don't think I would be fulfilled in a relationship where the dominant wanted to take control of my make-up, etc.

Now, that said... if we can't afford something, we can't afford it. And my primping is one of the first things to go.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 14

RE: Reverse gold digging - 12/4/2010 9:32:35 PM

Elisabella

Posts: 3939
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

irsmeinLV posted a thread here: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3489275/tm.htm about her Dom, who told her to do something to please him and gave her the money to do so.

I was wondering how you folks would think of the converse happening. Say that a woman spends a fair amount of time/money on her appearance. Would you feel okay with a Dom directing her to spend less time/money there, and direct the time and money elsewhere?

In the extreme situation, he would tell her to quit spending money on her makeup and let him have control over it.

Hard limit.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 15

RE: Reverse gold digging - 12/5/2010 8:08:52 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

Because being make up badly in public is humiliating.

Do not give 'em any ideas!!!

We don't do humiliation so that hadn't occurred to me. But seriously, if the dominant refuses to let her be dressed well, then it is incumbent on him not to go out and drool at all the hot young things who are dressed in flattering clothing with flattering hair cuts/color and artfully made up to improve their appearance. Because that's just hurtful.

And truthfully, I could look a lot better if I got on What Not to Wear and got the credit card with 5,000 and a top hair stylist doing my hair and a professional doing my makeup. But that's money I can't justify spending at this time.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 16

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