Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Some Rules For The Game


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Some Rules For The Game Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Some Rules For The Game - 5/1/2006 8:22:33 AM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		i did not know it was on Castlerealm, Calandra, thank you kindly for letting me know...  As i said the first time i posted it, it was sent to me and i only wanted to share.... And TRUE no BDSM relationship works the same, for that i am most grateful, or life would just be boring...

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Some Rules For The Game - 5/1/2006 8:54:08 AM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		Ain't it the truth? I hate boring.....

(in reply to kittensmailbox)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Some Rules For The Game - 5/1/2006 10:28:52 AM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		This was one of the first things I read when I started checking out bdsm type stuff online.  While the overall message is fine, a few things troubled me and still do. The most glaring on the submissive end - 
 
quote:

Be patient! A potential top will let you know if she or he is interested in you or not.
 
quote:

Your top needs to know basic information about you, such as experiences, fantasies, health concerns, and turn-offs. But - unless it's an emergency - wait until your top asks. Don't expect your dominant to be a mind-reader who instinctively knows your needs, wants, and limits.

 
A submissive is supposed to sit and wait hopefully for a top to express interest?  And then wait for him/her to ask before communicating about most things?  How can a person say to wait until asked and then turn around and advise not to expect the top to be a mind reader?  I feel like overall this squishes a submissive into a very passive role. For me, submission is not about setting up some guidelines and then waiting for things to be done to you.
 
On the dominant side --
 
quote:

Submissives are looking for someone who will take over their body and mind, not just for brute strength.
 
Really?  All of them?
 
quote:

Make your submissive fall in love with you, and expect him or her to give him/herself up to you totally.

 
And what about relationships that are not based on romantic love? Both of these make me feel like I could not be "dominant" if I did not have this desire to hunt down a submissive and then overtake him/her at every level - physically, emotionally, etc.
 
quote:

 Don't shirk your responsibility to your bottom or to your sister/fellow tops.
 
I understand this regarding the bottom, but what exactly is meant by responsibility to fellow tops?
 
I just think this is an over simplified perspective.  If it speaks to you, then it has value to you.  It is a good starting point for discussions.  It just tweaks me that I see it being put forth over and over, on mailing lists or forums or whatever, as a type of bdsm-basics rule book.  Then again, I have never been a huge fan of rules anyway. ;)

(in reply to kittensmailbox)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Some Rules For The Game - 9/24/2008 9:17:18 PM   
missAnn77


Posts: 28
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
Well either way I liked it too and thought that its a nice launch pad to move onto more detailed ideas and we all have to start some where even though its more dreamy than most think, I enjoyed reading through it....as a wishful thinking newbie I hope that I will find that sub that is attracted to me as I am to them.

Miss Ann

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Some Rules For The Game - 9/25/2008 3:55:33 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		My purpose is not to serve. I'm not service oriented and neither is he.

There's also a major contradiction between not expecting him to be a mind reader and never volunteering information. If I always wait for him to ask, then he won't have the info he needs in order to have things go well.

We're not into s & m, nor are we public players so why would I want sm friends?

As far as being willing to let him 'extend' my limits, no go there. If I was willing to go there, then they wouldn't be limits.

Not all of us have a punishment dynamic, some of us sit down like adults and figure out what went wrong.

Some of us think it's far better to tell our partners about problems as they happen in a scene and not require major care afterwards.

Basically, I could pick this apart line by line. It's junk that worked, one presumes, for the person who wrote it. It sure doesn't work for everyone else automatically.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Calandra)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Some Rules For The Game - 9/25/2008 4:00:50 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		The post is old, and most of the responders gone.  Still I needed to hear it.

Never be above that which you need to hear or the things you need to learn.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Some Rules For The Game - 9/25/2008 5:57:47 AM   
purrrrrrr


Posts: 39
Joined: 6/16/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		As someone who is new to this lifestyle . I think it was ( for me )  quite a good starting point .

I'm sure as in anything  you read or hear, a lot will not  apply  to you /your situation.
So you take out what does not fit or change it so it makes sense to you ./your situation

As long as you do not change it to hurt or  deceive  then what's the problem?
 In the BDSM lifestyle there is so much that does not apply  to me  yet so much that does . If I didn't *Cherry pick  I would  go nuts 




* I  don't mean just picking out the things I would like , like cake for being bad  lol

_____________________________

"Wipe your mouth there is still a tiny bit of bullshit on your lips. "

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 27
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Some Rules For The Game Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125