RE: Some Rules For The Game

RE: Some Rules For The Game (Full Version)

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kittensmailbox -> RE: Some Rules For The Game (5/1/2006 8:22:33 AM)
i did not know it was on Castlerealm, Calandra, thank you kindly for letting me know... As i said the first time i posted it, it was sent to me and i only wanted to share.... And TRUE no BDSM relationship works the same, for that i am most grateful, or life would just be boring...

Calandra -> RE: Some Rules For The Game (5/1/2006 8:54:08 AM)
Ain't it the truth? I hate boring.....

Sensualips -> RE: Some Rules For The Game (5/1/2006 10:28:52 AM)
This was one of the first things I read when I started checking out bdsm type stuff online. While the overall message is fine, a few things troubled me and still do. The most glaring on the submissive end - quote: *Be patient!* A potential top will let you know if she or he is interested in you or not. quote: Your top needs to know basic information about you, such as experiences, fantasies, health concerns, and turn-offs. But - unless it's an emergency - wait until your top asks. Don't expect your dominant to be a mind-reader who instinctively knows your needs, wants, and limits. A submissive is supposed to sit and wait hopefully for a top to express interest? And then wait for him/her to ask before communicating about most things? How can a person say to wait until asked and then turn around and advise not to expect the top to be a mind reader? I feel like overall this squishes a submissive into a very passive role. For me, submission is not about setting up some guidelines and then waiting for things to be done to you. On the dominant side -- quote: Submissives are looking for someone who will take over their body and mind, not just for brute strength. Really? All of them? quote: Make your submissive fall in love with you, and expect him or her to give him/herself up to you totally. And what about relationships that are not based on romantic love? Both of these make me feel like I could not be "dominant" if I did not have this desire to hunt down a submissive and then overtake him/her at every level - physically, emotionally, etc. quote: Don't shirk your responsibility to your bottom or to your sister/fellow tops. I understand this regarding the bottom, but what exactly is meant by responsibility to fellow tops? I just think this is an over simplified perspective. If it speaks to you, then it has value to you. It is a good starting point for discussions. It just tweaks me that I see it being put forth over and over, on mailing lists or forums or whatever, as a type of bdsm-basics rule book. Then again, I have never been a huge fan of rules anyway. ;)

missAnn77 -> RE: Some Rules For The Game (9/24/2008 9:17:18 PM)
Well either way I liked it too and thought that its a nice launch pad to move onto more detailed ideas and we all have to start some where even though its more dreamy than most think, I enjoyed reading through it....as a wishful thinking newbie I hope that I will find that sub that is attracted to me as I am to them. Miss Ann

DesFIP -> RE: Some Rules For The Game (9/25/2008 3:55:33 AM)
My purpose is not to serve. I'm not service oriented and neither is he. There's also a major contradiction between not expecting him to be a mind reader and never volunteering information. If I always wait for him to ask, then he won't have the info he needs in order to have things go well. We're not into s & m, nor are we public players so why would I want sm friends? As far as being willing to let him 'extend' my limits, no go there. If I was willing to go there, then they wouldn't be limits. Not all of us have a punishment dynamic, some of us sit down like adults and figure out what went wrong. Some of us think it's far better to tell our partners about problems as they happen in a scene and not require major care afterwards. Basically, I could pick this apart line by line. It's junk that worked, one presumes, for the person who wrote it. It sure doesn't work for everyone else automatically.

LadyPact -> RE: Some Rules For The Game (9/25/2008 4:00:50 AM)
The post is old, and most of the responders gone. Still I needed to hear it. Never be above that which you need to hear or the things you need to learn.

purrrrrrr -> RE: Some Rules For The Game (9/25/2008 5:57:47 AM)
As someone who is new to this lifestyle . I think it was ( for me ) quite a good starting point . I'm sure as in anything you read or hear, a lot will not apply to you /your situation. So you take out what does not fit or change it so it makes sense to you ./your situation As long as you do not change it to hurt or deceive then what's the problem? In the BDSM lifestyle there is so much that does not apply to me yet so much that does . If I didn't Cherry pick I would go nuts I don't mean just picking out the things I would like , like cake for being bad lol [sm=candles.gif]

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