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Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 6:02:42 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline 		Perceptions …. of Attractiveness … and Desire ...

Lately, I have been working in the Downtown areas of several Major American Cities.

And I feel a trend developing, so I thought it is appropriate to ask everyone:

What specifically attracts you to another?

Myself, I was once a dashing young man that women would fawn over. Now just a smart, mature leader.

I find that younger Women I encounter, in their 20’s and 30’s, who work in professional capacities, gush over me.

While down to earth, real life, non-professional women, in the same age range, are not even interested.

Although age is not a driver of my own desires, I do find the seemingly contradictory reactions, of the same age group, based on location and profession, really interesting.

In fact, it strikes me, as a fascinating dichotomy …

So I thought I would ask …

Do you look at men (or women) differently, based on the where you know them from?

What are you looking for? (Or what were your past experiences in meeting your partner(s)), and

What are (were) your experience(s) when encountering potential dates and/or mates?

Please do share ... as your thoughts and experiences ... as they are of interest!



< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 11/19/2010 6:38:37 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 6:04:38 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I wouldn't be surprised that seeing you as a mover and shaker at a level they hope to aspire to makes you more attractive than meeting you at a party or bar. The aura of power is very seductive.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
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RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 6:10:14 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I found exactly what I was looking for and what I was attracted  to:

a man close to my own age
physically fit, height/weight proportionate
tall
nice smile
confident air about him
conservative type of look about him
dapper dresser
approachable, talkative but not overly so in either.
intelligent
funny
serious

....and I can get that all out of a person from just seeing them for a  minute.


(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 6:22:23 PM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo
Myself, I was once a dashing young man that women would fawn over. Now just a smart, mature leader.

I find that younger Women I encounter, in their 20’s and 30’s, who work in professional capacities, gush over me.

While down to earth, real life, non-professional women, in the same age range, are not even interested.


So...young women have always found you hot. Congratulations. I'm a little confused as to what the point of this post is, other than to brag about how young women have always "fawned" and "gushed" over you. Your questions are so broad they cover all of attraction, so I have no idea how I would even begin to answer those. Could you perhaps clarify specifically what you're trying to discuss here?

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
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RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 6:30:40 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline 		No, no brag ...

I am asking what attracts you to another. (Please see the OP, now)


The subject does interest me ... and I feel I see differences ... makes me curious as to what other people ,,,

See, feel and react to ...

Please do share!

< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 11/19/2010 6:49:46 PM >

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
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RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 6:57:06 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		To the OP:

Ohhh I know exactly what you mean!  When I was younger (in my mid 30’s), I was surrounded by a gaggle of giggling girls (in their mid 20’s – don’t get mad at the “girls” thing.  It’s alliteration, poetic license).  they were all complaining complaining complaining that they couldn’t’ dates.  What is up with that?  I wondered.  I have no problem getting dates – I was dating several very fine specimens of men at the time, and I was gobsmacked by their problem.  The gals were cute and young, I was a fat old lady compared to them (still am come to think of it). 

So, I proposed a contest (yes I did).  We would go for a month or so and see who could ask out and receive the most rejections!!!  If you got rejections you won a trip to a swanky spa (donations from all players allowed us to get the gift).  If you didn’t get rejections, you got dates!  Yay!  Win Win!  (I saw it on TV.  I wasn’t clever enough to come up with the contest myself… but I was clever enough to recognize how clever it was.  ha ha ha ha).

I found that the successful, wealthy men (I only asked single people btw) were delighted to go out with me.  They liked my energy, my passion, my fun!  YAY!  The struggling people were also happy to go out with me – I didn’t mind cheap dates of picnics in the park, lawn seats for the symphony, and going to a cigar store and learning how to smoke.  Hey!  I’m fun!  I’m a professional, and I’m successful.  Yay!  They were cool with me.

It was the middle of the road people who needed to “date up” who would have nothing to do with me.  Huh.  Who knew?  No middle management, no average looking guys would go out with me.  Only the people on either end – and they had different reasons for being comfortable with me.  It was a real eye opener.

Just so you know… I won… most rejections.  I also got the most dates.  It’s all about confidence.

Best,
sunshine
(I’ll pencil you in for later this week  *wink)


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
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RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 7:03:52 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo
What specifically attracts you to another?

First glance, appearance. Then, what comes out of their mouths, i.e. how does their speech represent them AND what do they say? When We get physically close enough, how do they smell and what does their energy feel like? Whether or not they're interested AND if it is appropriate, dictates whether or not We'll act on it.

quote:

Do you look at men (or women) differently, based on the where you know them from?

Yes, We do. A person We know from work We assume is much more narrow-minded than someone We might meet in the kink community. We're more apt to assume a women is more open-minded than a man, in Our current geographic location (WV).

quote:

What are you looking for? (Or what were your past experiences in meeting your partner(s)), and

This is a complex question at the moment. We are looking for a number of things, but most of all, We would like to have a slave (and all that entails for Us) who We found to be sexually attractive who felt the same about Us. We have had this only a few times, each relationship being forced to end due to life circumstances.

quote:

What are (were) your experience(s) when encountering potential dates and/or mates?

Dates are easy. Fuck buddies are easy. Romantic partners are somewhat easy. Long term romantic partners are more difficult. slaves (Our definition) are harder. slaves who are fuck buddies or romantic partners are rare. However, We know that they are out there and that Spirit will provide when everyone is ready.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
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RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 7:08:50 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		I find smart, mature leaders very sexy. But most of the men my age seem to want the younger ones, they like the hard bodies, the gushing, the eagerness, it seems anyway. For me, at my age, I'm a little past the gushing part. So I have a problem finding men my age, which is my preference. If I'm attracted to you, my subtleness can get lost in all the gushing of the others.

You may not be able to see the forest for the trees. :)

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
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RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 7:22:50 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

So, I proposed a contest (yes I did).  We would go for a month or so and see who could ask out and receive the most rejections!!!  If you got rejections you won a trip to a swanky spa (donations from all players allowed us to get the gift).  If you didn’t get rejections, you got dates!  Yay!  Win Win!  (I saw it on TV.  I wasn’t clever enough to come up with the contest myself… but I was clever enough to recognize how clever it was.  ha ha ha ha).

Best,
sunshine
(I’ll pencil you in for later this week  *wink)



ROFL! Great story, I loved reading that, even though I knew as I read it that I'd never in a million years have the balls to do what you did. No wonder you are the Wonton Hussy. :) So, um where did you find people to ask out? And how did you know they were single?

------------------

To answer the primary question, I just look for a specific sort of personality. That's it, basically. The outer package has no meaning for me--if the personality is right, whatever outer package it happens to come in becomes just...ideal. Beautiful. Perfect.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
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RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 7:43:05 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		the thing that makes me notice a man is when he smiles at me.  it happened today.  it makes me notice them when maybe i dont really notice men all that much the rest of the time.

i dont have a type im especially attracted to, except i have to admit i dont go much for the middle management look - suits have never been my thing, infact neat and tidy isnt a turn on for me.  i think i like my men earthy and dishevelled to be honest.  if they need to brush up then they can but theyd much rather be wearing wellie boots and big chunky jumpers over a pair of baggy old jeans with a days worth of beard.  if they smell of anything its soap, not aftershave or cologne.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to anniezz338)
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RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 7:44:39 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		stupid machine:)

< Message edited by lally2 -- 11/19/2010 7:46:08 PM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 8:22:01 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		I realized today:
I'm ugly. And the mirror I used to figure that out was my soul.

Could be easier if I were ugly physically, it's easier to avoid actual mirrors. Or get plastic surgery. Me, I need a gamma knife.

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 8:39:13 PM   
submittous


Posts: 345
Joined: 6/12/2004
Status: offline 		I had a Gamma Knife procedure to treat an Acoustic Neuroma and it didn't do what you're asking for...plus had side effects...

On the question of what attracts me.... when I was young it was hot bods, long legs and pretty faces. Now after more decades in bdsm than I'd like to admit to I am attracted to submissive mindsets, people who are self aware enough to know what they need in life isn't viewable from the outside and people who are the stage in life where they can live their bdsm as a way of life instead of just dreaming about it....

_____________________________

"If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it." John Irving

(in reply to Twoshoes)
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RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 8:55:07 PM   
HisManegirl


Posts: 113
Joined: 11/5/2010
From: East Coast
Status: offline 		Men that turn me on are intelligent men that know how to take control, in their personal as well as business lives. It turns me on just hearing my Dom on the phone discussing business and directing his employees. He knows what he's doing, can figure most things out and has a good head on his shoulders. He may not be perfect. but in my eyes he's the King. Looks and cleanliness is important, I like a man that has a natural wonderful smell, where his essence is just flowing out of his pores :). Cologne is ok too, but his natural aroma has to turn me on. I also love a man that has a good sense of humor, knows how to play with me and laugh- in many different scenarios. He has to basically have a positive attitude and a warm smile that makes me melt. He takes good care of himself, knows how to dress up or down, and looks hot to me either way. A man that listens & communicates well with me is a turn on - not afraid to say what's on his mind. It may sound shallow but being great in bed is a major turn on, I hate to be behind on my behind-so I'm attracted to a man that knows how to satisfy me in many ways! 

(in reply to Twoshoes)
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RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 8:57:34 PM   
FriendlyMuppet


Posts: 171
Joined: 11/16/2010
From: Corpus Christi, Texas
Status: offline 		Beautiful women like to cuddle me because muppets are cuddly and squeezable. It makes me a very sought after muppet. Of course, that damn Elmo is constantly muscling in on my action, so sometimes ya gotta shot or be shot.

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
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RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 9:05:42 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline 		Dear Sunshine Miss,

Absolutely adore your Post!

And I love your initiative!

You are clearly creative and adventurous!

Very appealing traits, if I might add!

We are right on the same wavelength And I appreciate what you have shared! Thank you!

Indeed, I intend to get back with everyone else … as well as ask more questions ... when time permits!

But in the interim, I have to say,

I truly enjoy your comments! Please share more, quite freely!




< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 11/19/2010 9:06:18 PM >

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
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RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 10:21:33 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

What are you looking for?
 


A unicorn.  Not in the 'finding a third' sense, just the 'mythical' sense.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
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RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 10:47:20 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:


I find that younger Women I encounter, in their 20’s and 30’s, who work in professional capacities, gush over me.


First of all, why would you assume these "professional women" are interested in you. Don't they need to socialize, network, develop connections and hand out tons of business cardlets like professional men? The girls that work at the front desk at the gym are super nice to me, but that is their job. So, at least in my opinion, unless you specifically approach them with a romantic interest when they aren't in "work mode", you aren't saying much.

Second of all, I may be only twenty whatever (let's say 21, so I don't feel so old), but I don't really care whether large groups of women are attracted to me. I've given up on the fantasy that my sheer, incontrovertible awesomeness will make women fall apart as I saunter by. Because to manage to attract EVERY woman, you have to literally be EVERYTHING at once, which means displaying conflicting personality traits.

I can pretend to be extroverted by walking into a room and forcing my brain to output information before waiting to figure out others, but what's the point? I'm better at listening first. I'm also better at being spontanious than being organized (although, I do what I can). I don't want someone interested in me, because I'm pretending, cause then I'd have to keep at it, which is incredibly exhausting.

To answer your question: I'm attracted to women who like me when I'm being be, just me, nothing else but me.

Anyway, I kind of hate D/s right now. It doesn't really matter how many vanilla women are or aren't attracted to me. We cannot make eachother happy... because I am ugly.

This could be cause Ashley Wallbridge is spinning here tonight and I totally missed him. I can't even get high like the rest of my friends, because I have an addictive personality.

"If I could dance the time away
and leave behind today."
(Sorry, existential crisis.)

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 10:49:46 PM   
Nineveh


Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

So, I proposed a contest (yes I did).  We would go for a month or so and see who could ask out and receive the most rejections!!!  If you got rejections you won a trip to a swanky spa (donations from all players allowed us to get the gift).  If you didn’t get rejections, you got dates!  Yay!  Win Win!  (I saw it on TV.  I wasn’t clever enough to come up with the contest myself… but I was clever enough to recognize how clever it was.  ha ha ha ha).

Best,
sunshine
(I’ll pencil you in for later this week  *wink)



ROFL! Great story, I loved reading that, even though I knew as I read it that I'd never in a million years have the balls to do what you did. No wonder you are the Wonton Hussy. :) So, um where did you find people to ask out? And how did you know they were single?

------------------

To answer the primary question, I just look for a specific sort of personality. That's it, basically. The outer package has no meaning for me--if the personality is right, whatever outer package it happens to come in becomes just...ideal. Beautiful. Perfect.


If you ask someone out that isn't single they'll tell you so.  Much more pleasant form of rejection than many other possibilities. 

(in reply to CaringandReal)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Perceptions … of Attractiveness and Desire - 11/19/2010 11:11:56 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338
I find smart, mature leaders very sexy. But most of the men my age seem to want the younger ones, they like the hard bodies, the gushing, the eagerness, it seems anyway. For me, at my age, I'm a little past the gushing part. So I have a problem finding men my age, which is my preference. If I'm attracted to you, my subtleness can get lost in all the gushing of the others.


Honestly, I don't get why men your age would want a much younger person any more than I understand why someone my age would want a much older person.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 11/19/2010 11:18:38 PM >

(in reply to anniezz338)
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