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i wonder why - 9/29/2004 6:00:34 AM   
Parel0803


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Belgium
Status: offline 		There are a lot off BDSM sites and on the most off them we find ads from people how where looking to met a other person for a relation in the BDSM lifestyle.
Buth if you answer this ads than you revieve if you are lucky one answer on 10 ads, i wonder why.
Are there than so much people how are interest in the lifestyle buth how are scare to go for it real live or is it the saftyfeeling after the PC, thats make they placed a ad buth than ist stop, and are they pleased with the idee that they are involved in the BDSM .
I tought it was only difficult for a Dom or Master to find a sub or slave buth i have heard it so for sub's and slaves to buth why are we than so difficult when we are looking is there someone how have a answer.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: i wonder why - 9/29/2004 6:18:30 AM   
sweetpleaser


Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline 		Parel: I don't know how the lifestyle is in Belgium but maybe you are having a distance problem. I know there are many on this site from other countries but the majority seem to be from the Americas. It is real hard to do real time long distance. Also, if you are writing to American women, maybe they are worried about the language problem. You write pretty good English but it takes a little time to understand what you are saying. Are there any Dutch language online sites? Please do not misunderstand me, we welcome you to this site!! Your question though speaks of the frustration in receiving responses to your inquiries. Also, I believe, you will notice that there seems to be a disproportionate amount of Doms to Subs/Slaves on this site. So, you are competing with other Doms who barrage subs all the time. Subs can be more picky.

Sincerely,
ann

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to Parel0803)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: i wonder why - 9/29/2004 9:45:27 AM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		Partly because "most" or at least many of those answering BSDM ad's are NOT in the life style at all and i suspect that many of them are not even "wannabe's". And that many who "reply" to an ad are just doing so because they think they can get a quick piece o pussy from some "loose" person..
So those "subbies" who post an "ad" get burned out from the thousands of replys..
And a subbie or slave who answeres an ad from a dom/possable master is reaching out into a unknown place and is possably not a comfortable one given their "position" a subbie i am assuming does NOT like to be an agressive person in replying to an ad..

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to Parel0803)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: i wonder why - 9/29/2004 1:01:01 PM   
kiki blue


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline 		It's all about compatibility. Just because a bunch of subly types and a bunch of domly types are looking, doesn't mean they'll be a match. It's the same as any other dating site - 10 of this sort and 10 of that sort doesn't equal 10 matches.

I'm not about to get involved with someone just because they say they ID as a domly sort. If they have what I'm interested in, and I have what they're interested in, then we might get a match.

_____________________________

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

(in reply to Kinkypupper)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: i wonder why - 9/29/2004 1:25:56 PM   
NoCalOwner


Posts: 241
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetpleaser
Also, I believe, you will notice that there seems to be a disproportionate amount of Doms to Subs/Slaves on this site.

While I have also observed this, I did a little tallying.

Dominants outnumber subs here, but not by as much as 2:1 (among active users).

Males outnumber females by a far wider margin. Right now, of the last 25 users on, 20 were male, 2 were couples and 3 were female. What I usually see is around a 7:1 male-female ratio. Were it not for the fact that more men list themselves as Doms than as subs, we might not even have a D-s imbalance here.

But with a 7:1 male-female ratio, (hetero) Doms and male subs alike are going to face very tough competition.

(in reply to sweetpleaser)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: i wonder why - 10/2/2004 8:05:48 PM   
Nvernilla


Posts: 303
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline 		Well I havent done that many singles sites but would be willing to bet it is the same on all of them. Our entire society is set up where the tradititonal way it is done is that the man has the responsobility of being the one to "Make it So" the woman on the other hand has the responsibility of weeding out the field and choosing the best one. On top of that we have these ted bundy types making it hard on all of us males, by adding fear to the equation, see if she chooses the wrong one it can be a deadly mistake. The more I think about it the more it looks like on both sides it really sucks. I unfortunatly don't have the solution, but all you can do is keep on trying, be yourself and make sure your self is sincere, honest, truthful and happy. I personally put so much effort into the making myself happy part that I don't worry about the dating part much. Besides that if you are happy and self sufficiant its kind of hard to be feeling low and lonely. Another thing to consider is this, I personally have had some relationships that made me wish I'd stayed alone LOL I wish you the best. Mike

(in reply to NoCalOwner)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: i wonder why - 6/5/2007 12:32:18 AM   
Parel0803


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Belgium
Status: offline 		He thanks to all of you for you replys, sorry its a little late buth i wasn't a longtime not on the site , well i have done some renovation in and a round the home so i have change the electricity and so on and i was a lot off thime without net buth anywau thanks to all

_____________________________

in the rest of this we let beyond, we can find the pearl for our future if we will go for it.
You subservient and available are the reason for my faith and love, your masochisme are my reason to goning on togetter and own you

(in reply to Nvernilla)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: i wonder why - 6/5/2007 4:55:46 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		There are a lot more males than females on any sex site. That means men always have difficulties finding someone compatible. It also means that women can be extremely picky.

As far as not getting replies, no answer is a no. If we answer people we have no interest in they assume that our polite no really means yes. That's tiring and irritating.

You have to expect to personally have it worse than most. Most of us aren't looking for a mainly online relationship with someone we might be lucky to see once a year. We prefer someone more accessible. The fact that most of us are in the United States and you're in Belgium simply makes the distance a deciding factor in many cases.

(in reply to Parel0803)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: i wonder why - 6/5/2007 5:11:55 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		Three years is a little more than a "little late".

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: i wonder why - 6/5/2007 5:20:29 AM   
Parel0803


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Belgium
Status: offline 		Hello thanks, yes its a long way from The States to Belgium, buth i am not special looking only in the States buth thats like you say there are the most ads from. Well i think there living more people than here in this little country Belgium.
And I am not a online player to, i am very serious looking after a real time relation longterm. Now i have time and what not is today will maybe come to morrow. Buth any thanks and have a nice day

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: i wonder why - 6/5/2007 5:20:58 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: i wonder why - 6/5/2007 5:26:34 AM   
Parel0803


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Belgium
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Nvernilla

Well I havent done that many singles sites but would be willing to bet it is the same on all of them. Our entire society is set up where the tradititonal way it is done is that the man has the responsobility of being the one to "Make it So" the woman on the other hand has the responsibility of weeding out the field and choosing the best one. On top of that we have these ted bundy types making it hard on all of us males, by adding fear to the equation, see if she chooses the wrong one it can be a deadly mistake. The more I think about it the more it looks like on both sides it really sucks. I unfortunatly don't have the solution, but all you can do is keep on trying, be yourself and make sure your self is sincere, honest, truthful and happy. I personally put so much effort into the making myself happy part that I don't worry about the dating part much. Besides that if you are happy and self sufficiant its kind of hard to be feeling low and lonely. Another thing to consider is this, I personally have had some relationships that made me wish I'd stayed alone LOL I wish you the best. Mike


Thanks Mike for this words

(in reply to Nvernilla)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: i wonder why - 6/5/2007 5:35:57 AM   
Parel0803


Posts: 8
Joined: 7/11/2004
From: Belgium
Status: offline 		Yes i! know and you are right buth if you do a complete renovation from you home on your one than it takes thime, and there is a lot to think on buth i have tought on this forum so

(in reply to Parel0803)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: i wonder why - 6/5/2007 6:08:38 AM   
maledave7


Posts: 142
Joined: 8/4/2006
Status: offline 		I think that for some people it is just a fantasy. They enjoy being on the internet. Others are concerned about their safety, which is important. I think it just takes time to find someone. Here the males out number the females. One thing I have found is to read and post different things on the message boards. This is a good way to show your commitment to this life style.

(in reply to Parel0803)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: i wonder why - 6/5/2007 7:05:11 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Same reason most people leave a bar alone and even if they don't they are unlikely to ever call that person again.

I have looked on here for a couple of years, I have looked into the eyes of only two.

(in reply to maledave7)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: i wonder why - 6/5/2007 10:14:54 AM   
goodgirl85


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		Recently, telling a friend about past relationships, I noticed that a lot of them began online. This is do to the fact that I am rather a shy person. The online thing takes away the face to face confessions and you just kind of reveal yourself at your pace. I am not one who tends to open up and I don't do well with the other "dating" thing. I might be able to talk an hour or so straight online, but at the first meeting (even if we have been talking for a while online) I'll probably be a little more shy. Yes, women do tend to have to face that problem of chosing the right one.

This is the second BDSM site I am joined in. I also go onto yahoo, and have been a member of a few vanilla dating sites. Finding Mr. Right is incredibly hard. I give kudos to those Doms on this site who keep at it, after reading this ratio of males to females doms to subs. I think it is like that on most sites.... I think women who invest online are more likely to be looking for something more real, rather than all those sleazy guys out there looking for a piece of ass.... not saying that women don't do that to cuz they do but i think women (in my circle of friends anyway) are more than likely to go out to a club or hook up at a party rather than invest time online.


just my thoughts

girl

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 16
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