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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/12/2010 8:56:50 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

She was in charge of make-up.


Rolling the eyes-  could mess up the mascara.    haha

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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/12/2010 11:26:38 AM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		Well i understand the approach factor completely. I've had a boss before who personified the phrase,"abuse of power".

However during the course of the day, my demeanor changed from typical polite person, to one who was very stern. Unless I am playing and I'm in that certain headspace , I am not like that with people I don't know.

I'm surprised anything got done- i'd ask somebody to help me and it would either a) be done with an attitude(head/eye roll) or b)the person would leave off somewhere and i'd have to go find them, or I'd have to ask somebody else, to which I frequently got the response of, "Do I look like [insert name here]? Go ask them."


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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/12/2010 11:44:28 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		Then you were right to get stern in my opinion.

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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/12/2010 11:50:50 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

However during the course of the day, my demeanor changed from typical polite person, to one who was very stern. Unless I am playing and I'm in that certain headspace , I am not like that with people I don't know.




"The situation dictates which approach best accomplishes the team's mission." ~Colin Powell~

After reading your above quote, I get the feeling you may have lost the concept of using a team approach. An effective manager is able to remain polite and inspire confidence in his/her team without becoming a stern headmistress/master.

You were given the position of head make-up artist...was this a last minute thing or were you given any notice or opportunity to prepare (even if just a couple of hours worth)? I'm sure that the person who chose you to fill this position felt you were up to the challange of creating a cohesive team working towards a common goal.

This was a learning experience for you. Maybe you could have a talk with your supervisor and ask how they felt you handled the situation and if they have any advice to offer.


< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 10/12/2010 11:53:49 AM >

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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/12/2010 12:28:46 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		I was given a 3 hour notice. It was a favour I did for a photographer friend of mine.


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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/12/2010 12:46:12 PM   
Zevar


Posts: 801
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

This weekend, I worked a fashion event where I was the head makeup artist where I was filling in for another person. I'm not trying to throw dirt, but the people working under me had just short of appalling behavior. Standing around talking, walking off set, giving attitude to customers and models...the list goes on. Now, I've haven't been in charge of anybody in a formal work setting for a few years.

When I was in charge, I was strict, but I didn't deliberately push people around just because I felt like it. Now, with the event, many of the women under me were older than me, so immediately, I got the rude stares and eye rolls. But when I decided to have them actually work, they gave me grief every step of the way. When I talked to the person I filled in for, she said a couple of them called me Dragon Lady, and that I wasn't interested in knowing them as people. It became clear that she coddles her employees.

Looking down the road, could having this kind of reputation harm my chances for getting more work?


It is true that a certain style of leadership is inclined to inspire loyalty & respect thus resulting in effective productivity. However in the situation such as fill in Make-Up Artist within the Fashion Industry there is not time to inspire those you do not know and have been asked to fill in during a time of need. It is noted in management when a situation becomes rebellious then naturally to become firmer in a balanced manner with those who are insubordinate to be the right action.

Clearly if this position was a steady full time employment situation then your demeanor would need to become much more inclined toward inspiring the best of all involved through demonstrating what you expect of those you manage. Strictness in times of fast needed action related work duties is can be in certain instances an effective way to rule those under you who become insubordinate. It is not always effective though and surely not the best approach with those who are unwilling to cooperate.

Some in management disagree that a balanced approach is effective. Many want quick results and no rebellion at all. Total obedience is a noble goal yet not realistic when considering the humanity of all people. This stern and strict approach is not possible for many people to submit to. It most often is viewed as condescending. Or that management is better than those who are not management. One could say it is more geared toward appearing to be elite/exclusive and unlike those who you manage thus lacking the ability to demonstrate inclusiveness.

Most people respond to a balanced approach that unites everyone as equal among their peers and in unison with management on some level. While on the other hand another school of thought would be more inclined to advocate that managing those who become insubordinate is altogether a waste of time.

Perhaps even a less negotiable school of though might propose to instead rule in all instances and if those you rule choose to remain insubordinate then they have set their own consequences. Your needed shift in attitude was required and will always be required if you plan to manage people.

Your choices do affect your outcome to a degree as does your future situations give you opportunity to employ a method that would produce effective management while not treating those you manage as less than you even if they behave insubordinate. Go a step higher and show those you manage through your actions that there conduct is altogether unfounded by way of being the example you expect of them to demonstrate.

Hopefully you will set in action a reputation as someone who is a no nonsense sort of Lady, one who is fair, reasonable and always approachable. Perhaps you will always strive to become someone who will tolerate no less than excellence by your living example of uncompromising work ethics and integrity. How could one not respect a Lady such as that, aye!

Take good care, Dragon Lady! (smile)

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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/12/2010 2:57:14 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		FR

My suggestion is that because it is a very small world and there is a good chance you will have to work with them again is that you send thank you notes and personalize them.

Even though you found them mostly difficult to work with there must have been one small thing that each person did that contributed in some small way.
Figure out what that one thing was and thank each of them for it without any BS .

You might want to also covey that you understand the difficulties in dealing with someone new and you look forward to getting to know them better.



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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/12/2010 3:03:58 PM   
thishereboi


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quote:

Looking down the road, could having this kind of reputation harm my chances for getting more work?


Absolutely, if you have a reputation for not getting along with the employees, who is going to want to hire you? Now if it had just been one or two people, then they might figure that you aren't going to be able to work with all people. But from your post, it sounds like it was most of the people there, and no matter who was in the right, they are not going to want someone who can't get along with anyone else.


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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/12/2010 3:05:59 PM   
thishereboi


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Status: offline 		Good idea, that might help.

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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/12/2010 3:09:53 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		It's tough to just drop into a job with no notice, and deal with strangers.

Still, you work in a small world. Suck up. Send them some muffins, or better yet, deliver them in person and say "thanks for your help". Yeah, it's social hypocrisy, but such is the nature of the game.

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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/12/2010 3:16:36 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		Muffin baskets may do it.

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I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/12/2010 5:13:59 PM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Let's put it this way -- if i told my boss i didn't want to work with someone, that person would not get an opportunity to work with us.  As an employer she not only trusts my judgment if i have worked with a person but she values me to the point that she doesn't want to have me complaining because of someone brought in by her.  So to keep the peace in her environment lol , she will trust MY judgment as her employee.  SHE is the only one to make my day miserable lol.

Your OP sounds judgmental and a little bit snobby.  And you go even farther and say it appears your friend coddles her employees?  ou have to remember while they weren't YOUR employees, they are hers.  And she may not have the problems you did -- you need to ask yourself why instead of judging her and how she handles her employees.

Yeah, i would be concerned about the "label" but more so with the complaints they made.  Your industry is not that big and you probably aren't "that" good.   I would chalk this up to a learning experience and actually learn something about it.   You may want to next time grab someone and let them help you by guiding you as to what is the norm and give you an idea of how to deal with the people in the group.  This shows you are willing to KNOW these people and work within their probably already established routine etc and not just arbitrarily try and direct them.  That is being a leader because you are willing to work with knowledge instead of going off what may have seem to them half-cocked.   They know their job - you have to acknowledge this to them.

Did you even listen to the complaint you said she told you about or did you just hear dragon lady and automatically get your back up saying to yourself -- i just don't take no crap.  Well, neither do these people you were supposed to be working with.  So who wins -- in the end, not you.

KNowledge of the people you are working with is what a leader gets even if its in a short amount of time.  This helps you lead and guide instead of roll over everyone pissing them off.

But i would go with the muffins lol  Hopefully the sweets will sweeten the attitudes they have against you.  And they may well request you as send FOOD!

angel

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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/12/2010 6:01:37 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'm going to disagree with the general sentiment here.You were asked to fill in with no notice.  The regular manager was not available and she did not trust any of her employees to fill in for her. 

Even if I disagreed with someone over me, they are over me.  I'll do what they say, especially if it's just a few hours.  Eye rolling and general childishness has no place in the workplace.

Yes, there is a danger that you'll get the rep as a hard boss.  But it's also possible that the customer will have been impressed that you managed to get those women to do their jobs.


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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/12/2010 8:45:18 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		judgemental? yeah, i can see where you are getting that from. It may sound wrong, but i felt that I deserve to be judgemental. I have worked under people who were not even a little bit polite to me or my co-workers. but until i had found another job, i sucked it up and dealt. maybe its just in my expirence, but had my supervisior had to stop what they were doing to come find me, tell me several times to do the same task- i would have been rightfully fired. For being snobbish, when you put your hand out to greet somebody you are working with for the first time and they look at you as if you are handing them a used, HIV ridden needle, i'm sure you wouldn't be too sweet on them as well. i could be wrong though.

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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/12/2010 9:14:40 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		Well, I must say, I am amazed that the company is still in business if the employees are all that bad.

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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/13/2010 2:00:17 AM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		i've never worked with them before, like ever- since I work typically by myself on freelance or events out of town. they all struck me as divas(i think thats a word i should have used in the begining, my apologies). i don't really speak on the dynamics of their company since it was just a favour to a friend to help out the makeup artist who was going to be absent.

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I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

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RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/13/2010 2:28:30 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

i've never worked with them before, like ever- since I work typically by myself on freelance or events out of town. they all struck me as divas(i think thats a word i should have used in the begining, my apologies). i don't really speak on the dynamics of their company since it was just a favour to a friend to help out the makeup artist who was going to be absent.


So, you didn't know any of these people prior to the day of the event? You were the stranger thrown into the midst of an already established team...people who had been working together long enough to understand each other's strengths and weaknesses?

Was there a reason you were chosen to lead this team instead of someone else? Sounds like you, as a stranger, were given this position and couple that with what you mention in your previous posts...

quote:


Now, with the event, many of the women under me were older than me, so immediately, I got the rude stares and eye rolls. But when I decided to have them actually work, they gave me grief every step of the way.


quote:


However during the course of the day, my demeanor changed from typical polite person, to one who was very stern. Unless I am playing and I'm in that certain headspace , I am not like that with people I don't know.


quote:


judgemental? yeah, i can see where you are getting that from. It may sound wrong, but i felt that I deserve to be judgemental.


quote:


For being snobbish, when you put your hand out to greet somebody you are working with for the first time and they look at you as if you are handing them a used, HIV ridden needle, i'm sure you wouldn't be too sweet on them as well.


...you may have been having your own diva-esque moments.

Yeah, a learning experience.

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 10/13/2010 2:36:58 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/13/2010 4:02:13 AM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		reasons i was given the temp job 1) as a favour to a friend 2) i have really good credentials as well a having worked at New York fashion week as a makeup artist.

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I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/13/2010 8:42:15 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Lets recap.

You organize a bunch of divas.

What could possibly go wrong?

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: I Have Been Dubbed The "Dragon Lady"....oy. - 10/13/2010 8:32:29 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

FR

My suggestion is that because it is a very small world and there is a good chance you will have to work with them again is that you send thank you notes and personalize them.

Even though you found them mostly difficult to work with there must have been one small thing that each person did that contributed in some small way.
Figure out what that one thing was and thank each of them for it without any BS .

You might want to also covey that you understand the difficulties in dealing with someone new and you look forward to getting to know them better.




Ya know, I really like this. 

I think that I may have to steal it in dealing with family get-togethers.  If that is okay with you.

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