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Living out "rape" fantasies.. - 9/15/2010 2:58:58 PM   
Ottawamuse


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline 		So, this is a subject I've been mulling over from time to time for a number of years now, and I'm interested to get impressions of it from people who have lived them out.

Yes, I'm well aware of the consensual-nonconsent labels, etc, and this isn't intended to be another of those discussions.

I'm interested in hearing from those who were the victim, the "rapists" or a facilitator, who set it up. I'd like to know the general scenario it happened in, the aftercare, and the after-effects, if any.

Basically, I'm "researching" as it were, to help me determine if this is something I want to try living out, or if it's best left as a fantasy.

Private messages are welcome, should you not feel comfortable posting it publicly.

Thanks!
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RE: Living out "rape" fantasies.. - 9/15/2010 3:52:58 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		My intention is not to sway you from your fantasy in any way, but to point out that this topic seems to
come up on a weekly basis. Some of the members here may be weary of answering yet again.
You can continue your research by using the Search function in the top right corner of this forum, and typing in rape.
You will get a whole lot of ideas and opinions in these previousy discussed threads.

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RE: Living out "rape" fantasies.. - 9/15/2010 4:31:45 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Because of my self-defense training and because we don't want me to lose the gut reaction to "HURT, NEUTRALIZE, GET AWAY" in case of a real attack...

We played things "more light". We aren't going to do randomly have him show up and me not know who he is. Because I will try to gut him with the sword and have at least a decent chance of suceeding. He likes 'em prickly and able to defend his property.

So our plan was we picked a time frame while I knew he was in the house. So I was knew that, at some point, he was going to come up and get me. I just didn't know when and it was actually quite fun to have him throw a blanket over my head and knock me down. And I didn't try to claw off his balls. Always a plus.

Personally... I fucking loved it. He blindfolded me, used a creepy voice and told me he was going to chain me up, breed me for babies, let his brothers have turns with me and then turn my skin into lampshades when he was bored with me. I actually found myself scared and going "G-d, I want Val!" in my head.

Such a delicious little mind-fuck. I wouldn't suggest it for couples who are new to each other or this though. I think you really need to have a good bead on your partner's emotions. And their abilities. As a one of caution, he once thought it would be fun and sexy to come at me randomly with a sword. It didn't end well. I blocked it out of instinct, sending it upwards and nearly into his face. He was startled by the strength of my response and we were both grateful he'd thought to turn the unsharpened edge of the blade towards me. Otherwise, I'd have ended up with some minor stitches from deflecting the blade away from my head.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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(in reply to Ottawamuse)
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RE: Living out "rape" fantasies.. - 9/15/2010 5:01:32 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		From what I can tell, you can't really predict how the victim will feel afterwards. Some women who have been raped were traumatized, others find it empowering. Some need a day or two for aftercare, others are left frightened for months.

The one thing that is true is that because there is such a worst case scenario in the offing, you need this to be inside of a very secure relationship. One where if she is unable for months to play at all, the man won't get all pissy about it.

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RE: Living out "rape" fantasies.. - 9/15/2010 5:14:04 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		It's been been made known to me that at some point in time I will find myself in the trunk of a car, hooded and bound, taken somewhere and raped.

I've also walked into my bedroom and been taken down by him. The thought of the first is mind blowing to me.
And the second...absolutely incredible. One of my most favorite things that he's ever done to me.

Aftercare....we crawl into bed and go to sleep. No after affects for me other than grinning from ear to ear for what seems like days.

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RE: Living out "rape" fantasies.. - 9/15/2010 5:21:41 PM   
JustifiedAncient


Posts: 14
Joined: 9/15/2010
Status: offline 		Yeah, so my 3rd post ever is going to be about rape play.  I'm so going to be a pariah before I even get started. But this is kind of important.

I was play raped by a woman I was involved with about 5 years ago.  No sordid details following.  Suffice to say that she successfully set up the scenario such that it was raw, intense, and overwhelming both physically and emotionally.  The important part is the aftermath....

We had discussed our mutual interest in a rape scenario at length.  Both of us were cerebral, articulate, and (let's be honest) long-winded.  We'd turned over every logistical and emotional and psychosexual stone during nuanced conversations.  We had each written out our fantasies and exchanged writings.  We saw each other every day, trusted each other, and were brutally honest about our feelings and urges.

Before the scene, I'd say rape play was just one in a list of activities we both found hot and which we discussed in depth.  Both of us got off on the psychological as much as the physical so detailed discussions of our interests were par for the course.  After the scene, for better or worse, that one act colored our entire relationship.  Despite how young and clever we were, once we'd gone through with the scene, the biggest change is that we had to be alone with ourselves and realize "Wow.  I'm the kind of person who gets off on doing/having this done to me."  I think the way we looked at each other, saw each other, behaved with each other, was changed forever.  I can't classify it as better or worse but the texture fundamentally changed.  We're still friends and the texture has still changed.  Something will never be the same.

If I had it to do over again, I don't know if I'd go through with it or not.  Probably.  But the part it's important for you to understand is that if you go through with the play, and do it all-out, your relationship is going to irrevocably change in ways you won't be able to predict until it is all said and done.

(in reply to Ottawamuse)
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RE: Living out "rape" fantasies.. - 9/15/2010 6:49:26 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I've been both the facilitator and the rapist.  I've written some fairly extensive posts on the subject that you'll find by using the search feature as someone else suggested.  However, no matter how much research you do, it's really not going to tell you if this is a fantasy that should remain a fantasy for you or if it is one that you will enjoy living out.  There are a lot of factors that go into that and people really do react to this particular kind of role play differently.  There's no way to know in advance whether it will be a good experience for you or not.  I hate to put it in such a cavalier way, but it really can be a roll of the dice.

My experiences have been good, which means exactly jack squat.  As a top, it's basically hope for the best and be prepared for the worst.  It has to be understood that an unexpected reaction can happen during the scene or some time later.  Also, I wouldn't go into it without having extensive talks with the bottom.  This doesn't prevent or eliminate possible triggers that can happen during the scene.  It can give Me more information on how to handle it if it does occur.  There are bottoms out there that I would probably avoid a scene like this, even though I've done it before. 

I won't do scenes like this without the understanding that both parties do have a safe word.  I do know tops who have called their own safe words during this play because it didn't sit right with them once the scene was in progress.  That is a possibility for either of the participants.  (Some folks will disagree with Me on that last one, as some people want the 'no turning back' clause for this kind of ply.)  It increases the comfort level for Me on a personal level.

I would highly suggest that you do all of the research and reading that you can.  Do a lot of self examination and have a lot of discussion on the topic with the person that you plan to act out this particular role play with.  This really is a common fantasy for a lot of folks involved in BDSM (carried out or not) and it is discussed in a number of non fiction BDSM books. 


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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to JustifiedAncient)
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RE: Living out "rape" fantasies.. - 9/15/2010 7:30:21 PM   
Ottawamuse


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline 		I appreciate the thoughtful posts so far. Please keep them coming!



(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Living out "rape" fantasies.. - 9/16/2010 1:25:53 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
The fantasy of rape was always high on my list.
We talked about it for ages and we spoke about limits like not putting anything over my face or head and having a get out word if things got too much.
I didn't know when it was going to happen or how it was going to happen but when it did, it was cold, ruthless and cruel.
I think the thing that surprised me most was, I had no idea just how strong he really was. He knew I was going to fight and fight I did, with everything I had in me but it was useless. He didn't need ropes or cuffs but just used his brute strength to take me and use me.
I have to say that it was incredibly hot and the aftercare was loving and reassuring. We talked into the night and for days after about that experience and I thought I was very cool about it. He had taken me to a place of fight and flight and brought me back to a place of safety and warmth.
Leading up to that scene he had often taken me down and used me at his will but this was the first time that I had really given my all in trying to escape him. I had wrongly believed that I could escape and the experience of not being able to do so, was to cause problems for both of us in the long term.
It triggered a phobia in me because every time he has pinned me down since, I have started to go into a blind panic. There was no blind panic during that scene. There was fear and a huge amount of adrenalin going on but there wasn't any panic. We just don't do hold down play anymore. He can't even tie my hands behind my back which is something we often did before that night.
I have grown up with claustrophobia. I'm fine in lifts and crowds of people but panic when fabric comes too close to my face. We were well aware of this before that night and nothing did come near my face that would of made me panic. My claustrophobia is now tenfold to what it used to be. Even having my wrists grabbed is now a problem.

I guess I'm the one that went wrong That night was great but an unexpected trigger went off in that head of mine that has made us change how we play together.

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RE: Living out "rape" fantasies.. - 9/16/2010 3:55:07 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I've had happen him just taking me when he wanted to. Incredibly hot to be folding laundry, bent over the bed and a moment later I'm face down in the clean clothes being taken hard. We've discussed me going for a walk in the woods and him stepping out behind a tree and tying me to a log to use. I'm not sure we'll ever do it. I've had enough previously unknown triggers come up during  play before that I think we're both leery of a bad result.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Living out "rape" fantasies.. - 9/16/2010 8:47:18 AM   
takemeforyourown


Posts: 430
Joined: 2/24/2007
Status: offline 		This topic is so interesting to me. I have a long-held rape fantasy, but no one with which to enact it. Reading the long-term feelings of those who have experienced this led me to wonder if there is something in MY psyche that would pop up unexpectedly if I ever let it play-out.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Living out "rape" fantasies.. - 9/17/2010 1:57:39 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		I fantasise about rape scenarios and gang bang stuff... i fantasise about anything really
but lots of fantasies, including rape, i have absolutely no desire to make real

i do not count being taken un expectedly as rape, rape to me is being taken against your will, not just unexpectedly
if i were to act or pretend my rape role as a victim for real i am sure i would start to believe my part... the after effects would be too difficult to cope with and i think it would spoil a good deal of happiness in my person and very likely my trust in my partner would suffer beyond repair.

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RE: Living out "rape" fantasies.. - 9/17/2010 7:15:52 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		I think lots of people play the rape game very successfully.
This kind of thread is always like treading on eggshells because some women who have been through real rape will feel that the rape game is belittling the trauma they went through.
Other women that have been through rl rape will feel that by playing it out one more time, they can choose the ending of what was a terrible ordeal.
People who have not been through a rl rape will often be made to feel guilty in such threads but what others must remember is, its just another fantasy role play.





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Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

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RE: Living out "rape" fantasies.. - 9/17/2010 8:27:01 AM   
ImperfectLady


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/6/2010
Status: offline 		I've read with interest, and often deep compassion, the many emotional responses this topic generates.  I can speak only for myself and have no desire to offend those who've been brutally attacked.  Unsolicited attention at its best is uncomfortable.  Add to the "attention" factor of actual rapes the utter violence without regard or respect for the individual's wishes and the situation is grim.  It isn't the fulfillment of a highly charged sexual fantasy.  It is unwanted, unwarranted, and unpleasant. And yes I speak from long ago experience.

But, I've also developed a need through the years for wild and untamed rough sex.  With the proviso that there are certain parameters to be observed.  I've been very fortunate in my choice of partner in sexual pleasure.  And I've enjoyed the pseudo rape scenario which has been executed quite realistically but with utter bone deep knowledge that I'm safe.  That's what has answered my personal needs.  I do understand there are fetish groups which are dedicated to this very scenario in a much more brutal fashion than that to which I aspire.  So for those who want even more edge play, I think it can be found.  I would advise extreme caution.

We embody myriad manifestations of sexuality in our macrocosmic universe of BDSM. This is such a sen sitive topic, yet one that arises so very often I thought I'd chime in.

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RE: Living out "rape" fantasies.. - 9/17/2010 1:25:34 PM   
Ottawamuse


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JustifiedAncient
Despite how young and clever we were, once we'd gone through with the scene, the biggest change is that we had to be alone with ourselves and realize "Wow.  I'm the kind of person who gets off on doing/having this done to me."  I think the way we looked at each other, saw each other, behaved with each other, was changed forever.  I can't classify it as better or worse but the texture fundamentally changed.  We're still friends and the texture has still changed.  Something will never be the same.

If I had it to do over again, I don't know if I'd go through with it or not.  Probably.  But the part it's important for you to understand is that if you go through with the play, and do it all-out, your relationship is going to irrevocably change in ways you won't be able to predict until it is all said and done.



Sage advice, and very well put, thank you. Do you have any thoughts as to how things might have been different had she facilitated another woman in "raping" you?

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