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Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 6:49:33 AM   
sharainks


Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline 		For those who are seeking, is there a specific thing or combination of things that lets you know that someone who contacts you is not for you?

For me its what I call the "come to me baby" doms.  This dom seems to be characterized by writing 3-4  very short mails and then suddenly deciding its time for you to drive several hours to meet him.  Not halfway but to his town, or worse to his home.

I've never been able to figure out the thought process behind this.  To me its:

Cheap
Lazy
Inconsiderate
Unwilling to put any effort into beginning a relationship
Unconcerned about placing a submissive completely out of her safety network

None of the above are qualities that I seek in a partner
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 7:00:24 AM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Just as trying to develop any other relationship, the exchange of ideas and thoughts needs to be the prerequisite before going further. Call it an on line dating and getting to know them period, or what have you, but there has to be a developing bond. We are always willing to meet someone, but on neutral grounds with the understanding that it's a casual meeting and no play will be involved. Certainly, if there was an immediate connection and the desire to meet is mutual, key element being mutual, then by all means a face to face might be in order. But for someone to simply have a few chats then decide on their own that it's time to meet based on their own feelings...well suffice to say they might be jumping the gun.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to sharainks)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 7:02:07 AM   
dave1212


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/2/2006
From: Lancashire UK
Status: offline 		Unfotunately sharainks there are people out there who just send sort of prewritten mail's to everyone who they are interested in and hope to get a reply..
There will be somebody out there who will probably agree to meet him/her 

_____________________________

~Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me~
~Distracting/reacting~
~Against my will i stand beside my own reflection~
~It's haunting how i can't seem to find myself again..
"Linkin Park"
TSR-560-087-333

(in reply to sharainks)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 7:10:57 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

For those who are seeking, is there a specific thing or combination of things that lets you know that someone who contacts you is not for you?


Yes, there are certain questions that I watch for and when they start popping up in the first conversation I know they aren't the one. We also know that someone that isn't a biker, has no desire to be with bikers or even understand a small part of the biker mentality wouldn't be right for us.... seeing as how we are bikers...lol Granted, it isn't all that we are, but it's still us. There are a lot of people out there that are adament about attending church at least once a week... could they be happy with an atheist?

I really don't think time has anything to do with it, I think it's all about whether or not you "click". My husband and I went on two dates, spent one weekend together and moved in together... I know, that's fast, but I also knew it was right, it felt right. And we've never been happier.

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to sharainks)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 7:12:47 AM   
Areflectionofyou


Posts: 258
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline 		If it can't be a 50/50 thing on the first meet , than any Dominant that won't comprimise on this really isn't into it for the long haul.

(in reply to sharainks)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 7:14:46 AM   
sharainks


Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline 		Dave, that doesn't appear to be the case with the type I'm talking about.  Writing a prewritten e-mail to send to many-what I've gotten of those is that they are fairly long and generic.  I've been online for 8 years, met several nice people, and had fairly long relationships with 3 men in that time so am not new to the frog kissing thing.

Probably its a weeding out process for them too.  Unless you are willing to meet with no real knowledge of them and make the whole trip at your expense you aren't what they seek either. 

(in reply to dave1212)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 7:17:17 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash

Just as trying to develop any other relationship, the exchange of ideas and thoughts needs to be the prerequisite before going further. Call it an on line dating and getting to know them period, or what have you, but there has to be a developing bond. We are always willing to meet someone, but on neutral grounds with the understanding that it's a casual meeting and no play will be involved. Certainly, if there was an immediate connection and the desire to meet is mutual, key element being mutual, then by all means a face to face might be in order. But for someone to simply have a few chats then decide on their own that it's time to meet based on their own feelings...well suffice to say they might be jumping the gun.


Agreed, Scooter.

(in reply to ScooterTrash)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 7:19:22 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		One of the first indications is if he won't TALK to Me.  I send a series of emails of carefully thought-out questions, with the intent to getting a conversation started, a give-and-take of information and getting to know each other, and to create an atmosphere where the slave feels comfortable in asking Me questions (which some are hesitant to do).  If I get just a series of "yes, Ma'am" and "no, Ma'am" and "I am fine with that, Ma'am" and can't draw him out further, I have to cut him loose and keep looking.  First, I want a slave whom I can talk to (and who will respond!).  Second, I want a slave who wants to serve Me, not one who wants to serve and will grab the first one who comes along who'll take them.  If they show no interest in asking questions about Me, that let's that out.  Thirdly, a slave who will make no attempt to find out what his Mistress will require of him, or ask for any sureties or anything, clearly has a serious problem, of the type that I don't want him on My hands.  Or else he's a player, in which case ditto.


_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to sharainks)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 7:22:29 AM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		kissing frogs seems to be par for the course for everyone.  I'm learning to deal with that..lol

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 7:23:08 AM   
dave1212


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/2/2006
From: Lancashire UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sharainks

Dave, that doesn't appear to be the case with the type I'm talking about.  Writing a prewritten e-mail to send to many-what I've gotten of those is that they are fairly long and generic.  I've been online for 8 years, met several nice people, and had fairly long relationships with 3 men in that time so am not new to the frog kissing thing. 
. 


Oooerr  note to self ~must remember to "read" post properly ~ before making a comment ~grins~  

_____________________________

~Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me~
~Distracting/reacting~
~Against my will i stand beside my own reflection~
~It's haunting how i can't seem to find myself again..
"Linkin Park"
TSR-560-087-333

(in reply to sharainks)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 7:25:58 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I think the fact that the idiots all act the same makes it so much easier to separate the wheat from the chaff. 

When I send an email to someone I think might be interesting, I have found something on their profile that interests me, I comment upon it and leave a few opening for continued conversation.  Just like in a bar, most of us don't go home every night with our dream date, there is a lot of chaff out there, both idiots as well as someone perfect for someone else.  Meeting someone takes time.

I ran a fairly large group in a medium sized city and attended functions at many other groups as well.  If I had a library card and could just borrow anyone I want, there were less than 10 women I had any real interest in and who knows if a long term relationship would have worked out.  There you had more real people but less of them, online you have much more chaff but the jems are out there.

My father, who's love for women is sort of legendary, gave me advice as a young man that I dismissed like much of his advice.  Later I saw the truth in it as I did much of his advice.  Smile at all of them and look for the ones that smiles back.  I don't expect to meet my partner here, but I will meet her somewhere.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 7:27:52 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Please...I have warts on my lips from kissing so many of them.  LOL

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 7:28:38 AM   
sharainks


Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline 		Sends Dave a cyber hug...was not meaning to be grumpy.  I realize that with only a few posts to this site its easy to think someone is new to the lifestyle.

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 8:08:45 AM   
dave1212


Posts: 158
Joined: 1/2/2006
From: Lancashire UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sharainks

Sends Dave a cyber hug...was not meaning to be grumpy.  I realize that with only a few posts to this site its easy to think someone is new to the lifestyle.


No problem sharainks, it actually did not have anything to do with the number of post's you had made but me with finger's in gear before brain ~Doh~ but all the other people on here have given much better answer's than i could have ~sigh~
I'm now going to my dark corner for a flogging ~self inflicted of course~ Mmmmm

_____________________________

~Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me~
~Distracting/reacting~
~Against my will i stand beside my own reflection~
~It's haunting how i can't seem to find myself again..
"Linkin Park"
TSR-560-087-333

(in reply to sharainks)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 9:00:05 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Ohhhhh...I have a whole LIST of things that tell me someone is not for me.

Some, right from the first sentence, some...take a few emails to get to.  The thing is, people often don't understand what their written words have to say about them to strangers.  It is important, at least to me.

(in reply to sharainks)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 11:27:04 AM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

For those who are seeking, is there a specific thing or combination of things that lets you know that someone who contacts you is not for you?


If they're within my distance and age requirements, then it's all in the approach and the attitude.  If they send me a one-liner, odds are I won't bother with them.  However, my profile says a great deal about Master and myself, so if they demonstrate through their words that they've actually read and understood what it is we're seeking, and offer some explanation of how they, personally, fit into our life and lifestyle, then I'm much more inclined to speak with them.  Of course, we never know for sure if they're going to be a good fit until we're face to face and have had some real life interaction and observation.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to sharainks)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 12:46:55 PM   
TeeGO


Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline
Ribbett-Ribbett

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 1:09:24 PM   
murmur


Posts: 394
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline 		Well...yeah, if they're contacting me, asking me something to do for them at the *first* email.
The way they can call you is a good clue. a guy calling me *hey sub* at first contact isnt a seeker for my respect... we dont have nicknames for nothing, do we?

one-liners or copy-past texts...

oh yeah, i had one very funny email from a guy who's profile was as could be an add in a newspaper or something.
Example : *You, yes, YOU, are what i am looking for. You know this and i know this, just contact me and in the next few days, your life will change completely!* yadda yadda yadda......

Trust yourself and your instinct. You cant never fail yourself.

< Message edited by murmur -- 4/23/2006 1:11:01 PM >

(in reply to TeeGO)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 2:05:29 PM   
enthralled


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Nashville, Tn
Status: offline 		Oh dont you just love those types?
I know it's not going to work when I want to find out what nilla things we have in common and discuss .... oh, say quantum physics, and all the guy wants to know is what I'm wearing and what my kink is.
You know . . . those electrons, neutrons, protons, and wave dualities tend to turn a guy off! LOL

Respectfully,
enthralled

_____________________________

A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another's.-Jean Paul Richter

(in reply to murmur)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Kissing frogs/weeding out - 4/23/2006 2:23:52 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Damn and here this horny toad thought he was going to hear about a kink that you had for frogs......?
Fastlane shrugs......, it did sound too good to be true.....Ribbit, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to enthralled)
Profile   Post #: 20
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