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Termyn8or -> RE: Term, congrats on the week clean! (9/7/2010 6:35:10 PM)
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FR
Thank you all for your support.
How it went was like this, while I am telling "them" I stopped on my sentencing date, who cares if it is true. I am only truthful with those who are truthful with me, it was actually the Saturday night after, they won't be able to tell. Pot on the other hand I did stop on that Friday, that was the 27th, my first probation date is on the 22nd. Cutting it a bit close, but August has 31 days so I should be OK there. We went through hell and high water to get that last one. I got to the point where I was really going. The next day alcohol was out. I got wasted, I mean falling down wasted for the last time. I mean until five in the morning until I couldn't do anything but crawl into bed, a trip which incidentally started on the floor. For old timesake, plus I figured it might wash the THC out of my system. It's all over now.
Before, when I was young I used to get sick once in a while, but I can't recall ever having a hangover. Just something about my body. Over the years I was just fine, but I got lazy and a bit out of shape. Now I pay the price for that as well. In the psychological sense I seem to be fine. Some expected me to be nicer and all submissive etc., but nothing could be farther from the truth, and I showed them at work today. I looked in the parts bin and there were no 6N136s. Boss asked what the set needed, I walked right past him and made that sign with my finger that means "COME HERE". I showed him on the board where I had written the number down A FRICKING MONTH AGO and it hadn't even been ordered. Earlier that day I hadf a bad transformer that you can't get, the boss insinuates that somehow it's my fault for drinking, especially my three beer lunches. Well my reply was "SO YOU ARE SAYING THAT MY DRINK MADE THIS FUCKING TRANSFORMER GO BAD ? BULLMOTHERFUCKING SHIT !".
Then a customer comes in bitching up a storm and actually making unreasonable demands. Her set is intermittent and won't act up, and I plainly saw that she was trying to get over on us. She expected a call every two days to give her the word that there was no news. Bullshit, nobody does that. I sat down with the soon to be ex-boss and talked to him. He had raised his voice and I told him straight out that he was not effective.
What this proves to me is that I was NOT full of liquid nerve, that I can be just as much of a prick as I need to be, and that it was not a crutch. I am quite pleased. Then the womanizing old DP runs away to get his knob polished saying that he has to get batteries. Comes back with no batteries, but with a ho in tow. I'm in the office, he sends her to get wine coolers but she has no ID. So he had to go get them. I go back to working and she comes out "Where did Tony go ?". I said "To the store". She said "Shit, I wanted to tell him I need cigarettes". I said loudly "Sorry about your luck".
He is up to his neck with the taxman, yet he has money to pay these broads' tuition, cellphone bills, take off out the shop to bring them an icecream cone, it is a very good thing that he is out the door on the 1st of the month, and he has to take his own fucking IRS bill with him to be able to collect his retirement. So we need a new tax ID number and all that. And things are going to change. Fine, this gave the new boss to be and I a chance to talk. There are going to be some changes. He bitches about sets not marked properly with a diagnostic, yet I would sit there and he would break me off this for something else to make a fast buck. And of course it was always my fault. You can imagine the stress.
So maybe even though I didn't need alcohol as a crutch, I may have used it as such. In a way it's like taking the training wheels off of a bicycle. Now I am (despite a remaining portion of lack of equilibrium) able to stand on my own two feet, and when I assert myself I cannot be accused of being drunk. I might get to like this, quite. He was the element of confusion there and now he will be gone. I think we can make it. I may have stated that I am falling a bit behind on the new technology, well for one now I have more time for study, and part of my work is bound to be administrative in nature. And despite my absence during October, I am sure that I will have alot of input on the new rules and policies. And people, I DO know what I am doing.
Kudos to all who have stopped alcohol, anything actually. In younger days I did almost every drug there was except for mushrooms and anything intrvenous. I stopped, and that was that. This feels about the same. I wish everyone to have such a positive exerience when faced with the choice of stopping or stopping. I have heard horror stories, people who had a much worse time. Thank whatever that it didn't happen to me.
And I am glad to report that I am still ;
The Terminator.
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